


Just Desserts

by Kaiyou



Series: The Sweetest Thing (Just Desserts Verse) [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Angst, BDSM, M/M, Polyamorous Relationships, Shiratorizawa centric, alcohol ment, background OiHina, background TenSemi, brief BokuAkaKuroKen, dom Ushi, established UshiShira, potential UshiShiraGoshiki, sickness (stomach bug), switch Shira
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:33:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8243005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiyou/pseuds/Kaiyou
Summary: Shirabu is perfectly happy running his boyfriend's restaurant. He's perfectly happy with - and fully satisfied by - said boyfriend. So why does their new pastry chef bother him so much - and just what is he supposed to do about it?In which Ushiwaka is an executive chef, Goshiki wants to be, and Shirabu has to put up with knowing more details about Tendou and Semi's sex life than any sane person should ever have to put up with.





	1. Apples and Caramel

**Author's Note:**

> The rating on this may change. This whole thing was SUPPOSED to be pwp... well. That's not gonna happen. But I love these children, and love STZ interactions and their team dynamic, and they're all adorable and fluffy and ushi is such a good. 
> 
> Also I love Shirabu, the salt child.

Shirabu sighed for the millionth time, wishing he could close his ears as easily as he could close his eyes. “You’re so disgusting,” he said.

Tendou’s laugh was loud and grating. “What, you don’t believe me? I tell you, it really was four times! And even that last time, he was the one who made me do it - growling at me in that Semisemi voice, all, ‘you’re not too tired now stop being a lazy prick and get up here and fuck me’ - I swear, he said it just like that! It was un-fucking-believable, man. Fuck, I love my boyfriend.”

Personally, Shirabu was downright annoyed with his. It was all Ushiwaka’s fault that he was stuck here, sitting in his favorite booth in their restaurant while watching Tendou make kissy faces to Semi as he worked the bar. Why he let Ushiwaka talk him into these things, he didn’t know. Well, not that there had been a whole lot of talking involved, exactly.

This was supposed to be their night. The one night where Shirabu let Kawanishi take over managing the tables and Ushiwaka let Reon manage the kitchen. They weren’t even supposed to be here, they were supposed to be out at the new French restaurant that had opened up in the neighborhood over, trying something different.

But then Reon called in sick, and Tendou showed up out of the blue with flowers for Semi and a volume of manga for Ushiwaka, and somehow Shirabu ended up hanging out with Tendou instead of going home and binge-watching CSI like he wanted.

“Your face is so sour, Shirabu,” Tendou teased, poking him in the shoulder. “I hear you got a new pastry chef - maybe we should have him make you something? Though if you eat too many sweets you’ll stay short.”

Glaring at Tendou, Shirabu curled up, not wanting to dignify that remark with a response. Instead. he let his fork pick off delicate flecks of the whitefish on his plate. It wasn’t quite his favorite, but it was close, and it was perfect just like everything Ushiwaka cooked. Though he’d rather actually have Ushiwaka here next to him, even if they had to stay here keeping Tendou company until Semi’s shift was up. He supposed it was better than the redhead hanging around the bar and annoying their best bartender.

How those two worked, Shirabu had no idea. 

Well, scratch that - all the details that Tendou so unnecessarily shared with him gave him a pretty good idea of how they worked, at least in the bedroom. Shuddering, Shirabu worried for a moment that Ushiwaka might be just as forthcoming as his best friend, but then he relaxed. He trusted Ushiwaka. In truth, Ushiwaka was probably too possessive to want anyone else to even imagine what Shirabu was like during sex. 

That was alright. Shirabu was just as possessive. Enough to be annoyed at the glimpse he saw of the kitchen through the door as one of the waiters walked out with a plate full of food.

“I don’t know if I like the new pastry chef,” Shirabu said, scowling.

Tendou looked over at him in surprise. “Eh?” he asked. “I thought he came highly recommended - top of his class or something?”

“He’s always boasting,” Shirabu said. “Talks like he wants to be head chef. Head chef. He’s not even Sous chef!”

“Hmm,” Tendou said, taking a bite of his Beef Bolognese. “Is he any good?”

Scowling, Shirabu admitted, “He’s a little good. Ushiwaka lets him come in sometimes for lunch and run the kitchen, and no one has died of food poisoning yet.”

“And Ushiwaka gets to spend his lunchtimes with you?”

Shirabu flushed. “Maybe.” In truth, it was nice having those extra hours to themselves, especially if Ushiwaka had kept him up late the night before. Sometimes he even got breakfast in bed. Sometimes Ushiwaka even fed him by hand, making him keep his hands on the headboard or blindfolding him. Lunches like that were gentle and relaxing.

But then they’d come down and Shirabu would catch Goshiki talking to Kawanishi about how things had gone, how everyone had loved his food, how he’d be the best head chef ever. It bothered him. No one could ever be as good as Ushiwaka, didn’t the kid know that?

“We all know Reon doesn’t really want to take over,” Tendou continued, getting distracted a moment by the way Semi mixed a martini. “His parents still have that yakitori place, and we all know he’ll inherit the family business one of these days.”

“Probably take Kawanishi with him, if they ever get their heads out of their asses,” Shirabu agreed. 

“From what Semi says, he seems like a diligent worker, too.”

“Maybe,” Shirabu groused. “But he’s so annoying. That stupid bowl haircut -”

“Hey! I had a haircut like that!”

“Yeah, when you were like, five, and it was stupid on you too, not that this current one is any better -”

“It’s because Semi’s always pulling on it.”

“Ugh. When will you get that I just don’t need those images in my brain?”

Tendou cackled, quieting down as Semi shot them both a cool glare.

“But this kid - I don’t know - he just makes me want to -”

“Want to what?” Tendou asked, waggling his eyebrows in a way that Shirabu ignored. Tried to ignore.

“I don’t know. Yell at him, or - something.”

Laughing again, Tendou said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up over someone.”

Frowning, Shirabu said, “What do you mean? People annoy me all the time. You annoy me all the time.”

“Well, yeah, but that’s different. You don’t want to, uh...”

“What?” Shirabu demanded, staring as Tendou just smirked, not saying anything. He was always so annoying, acting like he knew something that Shirabu didn’t. Even more annoying because all too often, Tendou did know more than anyone else.

The door to the kitchen swung open and Goshiki came out himself, flour dusting his cheeks, carrying two plates and grinning from ear to ear.

“Shirabu-san,” he said, “Ushiwaka-san said that since most of the customers are gone I could bring you two out some samples.”

“Oh wow, Tsutomu!” Tendou said, reaching for the plate that held what looked to be an intricate chocolate creation. “Gimme!”

Goshiki beamed at Tendou then hesitated, looking at Shirabu. “Ah, Shirabu-san gets to pick.”

“Let him have it,” Shirabu said. He wasn’t really sure he was hungry for dessert anyways. The other dessert was more of an elegant tower of custard and caramel, surrounded with delicate apple slices. “I’ll try this other thing.”

“You have to tell me how it is. Ushiwaka said he had a friend who really likes apple things, so I wanted to make something special.”

Making a noncommittal noise Tendou picked up his desert fork and slid it through the smooth custard, swirling the bottom of the spoon through the caramel before picking up a piece of apple. He knew exactly who Ushiwaka was talking about, the husband of one of his chef friends who loved apple pie. This wasn’t apple pie, but -

Shirabu let the fork slip inside his mouth, glancing up to see Goshiki watching him far too intently. Honestly this kid. Still, the flavors were perfect - salty-sweet caramel melting into creamy custard, all of it set off by the tartness of a perfect apple. 

It was good. Really good. Good enough that if Ushiwaka had fed it to him in bed, he’d probably let out some embarrassing noises. No way he was doing it in front of these two, though.

“Do you like it, Shirabu-san?” Goshiki asked.

The kid was like a puppy, almost bouncing up and down on the soles of his feet. It made Shirabu want to be cruel to him.

But he wouldn’t. He was always honest in his appraisal.

Frowning a moment he speared another slice of apple, turning it around to examine the skin. “It’s getting there,” he said. “Try using another type of apple - something more tart, perhaps? And more salt in the caramel. Maybe try some goats cheese as garnish. Apples and cheese go well together.”

Goshiki’s eyes lit up. “Ah! Good point! Thank you, Shirabu-san!”

“Now go finish up your closing duties,” Shirabu said, waving him off.

The grin Goshiki shot him was far too cheeky for Shirabu’s taste, but at least he was gone.

And he left the dessert for Shirabu to finish.

He was taking another bite when Tendou’s grin caught his eye.

“What do you want?” Shirabu said, frowning. “Also you’ve got chocolate on your cheek.”

“Oh, nothing, nothing,” Tendou said, lifting a finger to his cheek and wiping some of the chocolate off before inspecting it. “Eh, Semisemi will just kiss it off later.”

Snorting, Shirabu said, “Semisemi will probably kick your ass once he finds out what you’ve been talking about tonight.”

“He wouldn’t -”

“What has he been saying?” Semi asked, stepping up to the side of the table and giving Tendou a sharp glare.

“Baby!” Tendou said, grinning widely up at him and scooting to the edge of the booth. “I missed you.”

“You’ve been shooting me looks across the room all night. There are reasons you aren’t supposed to come in when I’m working.”

“Yeah, but - it’s a rare night off! I finished all my work early! How could I not come see my Semisemi?”

Semi just rolled his eyes, licking a thumb and wiping at the chocolate on Tendou’s cheek. “Can’t take you anywhere. What have you been telling Shirabu, anyways?”

“Ah -” Tendou said, turning his head and trying in vain to capture Semi’s thumb in a kiss.

“Nevermind,” Semi said, giving a long-suffering sigh. “I can probably guess. Well, I’ll take him off your hands then, Shirabu. Thanks for babysitting.”

Shirabu just waved, watching Semi walk away with Tendou not far behind. The redhead turned his head and winked at him.

Annoying. 

Frowning, Shirabu stabbed the apple desert with his fork again, trying to work out exactly what Tendou thought he knew.

Nothing good, probably.

He worked his way through the rest of the desert, trying to focus on how well the flavors mixed together on his tongue. At least all the customers were gone now. Shirabu lost himself in thought as the servers cleaned everything up around him, only breaking out of his reverie when a large shadow loomed over the table.

“You finished it,” Ushiwaka said.

“Hmm?” Shirabu asked, then looked down at the clean dessert plate in front of him. “Ah, yeah.”

“Good?”

“Decent.”

“Hmm. Yes, he seems rather talented,” Ushiwaka said.

Shirabu looked up at him, trying to read the thoughts behind those words, feeling uncertainty and jealousy war inside his heart. Ushiwaka liked Goshiki, he knew. Thought him a capable chef. Sometimes, when Shirabu watched the way his lover watched the younger man, he wondered if his appreciation went beyond purely professional bounds. He was reminded of the near-obsession Ushiwaka’d had with another chef in his class at university, one who’d gone on to host cooking shows and headline a chain of restaurants.

Shirabu swallowed. Ushiwaka was possessive, it was true - but he’d always been a man of large appetites, and sometimes Shirabu wondered if he was really fully satisfied with just a plain little waiter turned maître d'.

A large hand came down on Shirabu’s shoulder, and he looked up.

“I think,” Ushiwaka said, “that it is time for us to go to bed.”

“But we still need to finish -”

“Now. Kawanishi will close everything up.”

Shirabu swallowed, letting himself be tugged out of the booth. They said brief goodbyes to everyone before exiting the restaurant. Goshiki’s gaze seemed to linger on them in a way that made Shirabu vaguely uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything about it though, just climbed the stairs to their apartment and took comfort in the weight of Ushiwaka’s hand on his lower back.

“You’re tired,” Ushiwaka observed. “You should’ve come up here earlier.”

“And leave Tendou alone down there?” Shirabu scoffed, fishing his keys out of his pocket and unlocking their front door. “He would’ve held off for maybe five minutes before crowding the bar and getting in Semi’s face, and then I’d give it maybe ten minutes before Semi is either telling him off in front of the customers or dragging him down into the wine cellar. Fuck knows we don’t need _that_ on the security cameras.”

Ushiwaka chuckled, tugging him close for a chaste kiss. “I appreciate your sacrifice then.”

“Yeah,” Shirabu replied, leaning against him and wrapping his arms around his lover’s muscled torso. He might not always feel like he deserved to be here, but fuck if he wasn’t going to take advantage of it while he could.

Even if it looked like there was a brilliant new chef waiting in the wings just waiting for a chance to take his place.

“I’m going to assume,” Ushiwaka murmured, “that it’s because you’re tired.”

Pulling back, Shirabu looked up at him. “What?” he asked.

Ushiwaka pushed him firmly against the wall, pinning him by the shoulder with one hand and tugging at the knot of his tie with the other. “You’re acting like some very important things are starting to slip your mind. Are they?”

Staring at him, Shirabu let his head fall against the wall as the tie was tossed to the side. Ushiwaka undid the top buttons of his shirt and tugged gently at the simple black velvet ribbon that lay under it, encircling Shirabu’s throat. “Ah,” Shirabu said, trying to arch to follow the tug. “Perhaps.”

Ushiwaka’s eyes were hungry as they stared down at him. “Shirabu, my beautiful Shirabu,” he murmured, hand sliding up to cradle Shirabu’s cheek. “Perhaps I should give you a very thorough reminder so that you don’t forget so easily next time.”

Shivering, Shirabu turned, kissing Ushiwaka’s palm before letting his gaze slide back up to his lover’s eyes. “Perhaps you should,” he murmured, kissing the thick thumb next to his lips, “sir.”

He loved the way Ushiwaka’s eyes went dark at that word. Loved the way the hand at his shoulder curled, pressing against his skin in a way that left no doubt that Ushiwaka could move him any way he wanted. He loved being at Ushiwaka’s mercy. Loved it even if it meant he woke up with bruises on his thighs, or that he had to use the standing desk to go over the books the next day instead of sitting in a chair.

He was Ushiwaka’s, completely - and Ushiwaka was his. 

So he let Ushiwaka lead him into the bedroom, and remind him of that fact in ways that were more delicious than any apple-caramel dessert could ever be.

~~~~~~~~~

“Hey hey!”

“Hey hey hey!”

The voices of the two men that stepped across the restaurant threshold were far too loud for the small entryway. Shirabu rubbed at his temples, thankful that at least he didn’t have to deal with Tendou tonight.

“Bokuto-san,” Shirabu greeted the first man, tall with wild grey-black hair. He didn’t recognize the second but saw the shorter form of Bokuto’s husband trailing in behind the two, followed by a beautiful man that he was surprised he knew. “Ah, Kozume-san, Akaashi-san. I’m sorry, I don’t know your name, sir.”

“It’s just Kuro,” the man with ombre hair murmured, gaze not lifting from his phone. “And it’s Bokuto for me as well, now, but you can call me Kenma.”

“We’re married,” Bokuto said unnecessarily, tugging Kenma to him and looking around with a huge grin on his face as if everyone should congratulate him. The blond fell against his husband with an irritated huff, though Shirabu thought he could see a small smile on his face as well. Shirabu’s heart ached as he glanced down at the gold rings on their interlocked hands. 

“Yeah, only because -”

“Hush, Kuroo-san,” Akaashi said.

It reminded Shirabu a little bit of Semi. Tendou definitely had a type. He remembered that Tendou and Akaashi had dated for a bit in University, back when they were both journalism majors and Semi was off backpacking in Europe with Reon and Kawanishi. They’d been a good couple, from what Shirabu remembered. The break-up had been amicable, though. He was pretty sure Akaashi even worked at Tendou’s newspaper, though covering lifestyle instead of sports.

“Yahoo!” came a voice that made Shirabu cringe. “Ah, Shira-kun! Long time no see! You can't imagine how surprised I was to find out that Bokuto had picked _this_ restaurant to have Pudding-kun’s birthday celebration in.”

Shirabu held back comments about him probably wanting to have it at a place where the food was edible and not just pretty. Instead he forced a smile onto his face as Oikawa-fucking-Tooru walked through the door, arm draped over the shoulders of a short redhead. “Welcome, Oikawa-san, Hinata-san. Bokuto-san, we’ve prepared a table in the back for you and your guests - I believe your reservation said twelve would be coming? If you all would like to get started, we can show the others back as they arrive.”

“That’d be great!” Bokuto said. “Are you excited, Kenma?” 

Kenma sighed again as they started towards the back. “Yes, Bo.”

“I even have a special surprise for you!”

“You’re not going to propose again, are you?”

Shirabu held back a chuckle.

“No - do you want me to, Kenma? You know I’d marry you again in a heartbeat - you and -”

“It’s fine, Bo,” Kenma murmured.

Shirabu’s eyes lingered on the way their intertwined hands tightened as they sat, Bokuto insisting that Kenma take the spot at the head of the table. Kuroo sat across from Bokuto and Akaashi huffed, moving to sit next to Bokuto. 

Hinata sat next to Kuroo and leaned forward. “Everyone wants to sit next to you, Kenma!”

Kenma just huffed, tilting his head forward and checking his phone.

The obvious affection with which the others looked at Kenma made Shirabu’s chest hurt for some reason. Kuroo reached over and slid a lock of hair behind Kenma’s ears, exposing a flushed cheek. Only Oikawa seemed immune, hand resting gently on the back of Hinata’s neck, looking down on him with fondness.

At least Shirabu didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“I’ll send in some water and menus,” Shirabu said softly. “Please let us know if there’s anything you need.”

“Thanks!” Bokuto said, turning his head to give Shirabu a blinding smile. 

Relieved, he made his escape - only to be met with another annoyance as soon as he stepped inside the kitchen.

“Are they here?” Goshiki asked, rubbing his hands on his apron. “They’re here, right? I can’t believe it! Bokuto-san - and Akaashi-san - they’re going to taste my creation!”

“Calm down,” Shirabu snapped. “You made it for Kenma, not for them.”

“Kenma?” 

“Bokuto-san’s husband - gah. It’s his opinion that matters here.”

“I know, I know - but Akaashi-san’s reviews make or break restaurants! And Bokuto-san used to be ranked the fourth-best pastry chef in the whole country - and that was before he opened his own restaurant!”

“I know. You’ve told us. Many times. Now get back to work!”

Shooting him a grin Goshiki said, “Yes sir! Shirabu-san sir!”

Grumbling and feeling his cheeks heat up, Shirabu shook his head and checked over the rest of the kitchen. The special menus were prepared. Their two best waitresses were going to be handling the party. Everything would be fine.

Still, he indulged by taking a moment to watch Ushiwaka at work carefully carving a fresh-roasted duck, the sight instantly calming his nerves. It was just a birthday party. Ushiwaka and Bokuto were good friends. It would be fine.

And it was.

Shirabu checked on the party several times during the evening to make sure they wanted for nothing, letting Kawanishi play backup host. The way Kenma’s eyes lit up when he saw the apple desert gave Shirabu some inkling as to why the others fawned over him, especially Kuroo and Bokuto. As the night wore on he noticed more and more that Bokuto let his arm drape around Akaashi’s shoulders, and Kuroo’s hands lingered on Kenma’s hair and hand in a way Shirabu wouldn’t have expected, knowing that Kenma was married to Bokuto.

“If you breathe one word of it, I’ll make sure this restaurant gets ruined,” came a sharp whisper over his shoulder.

Surprised, Shirabu pulled his head back from the door and looked up at Oikawa. “Excuse me?” he said.

The look on the other man’s face was fiercely protective. “What they choose to do in their own private life is no one's business but theirs.”

“I wouldn’t dream of infringing on their privacy,” Shirabu said, voice frosty. “Bokuto-san is a good friend of Ushiwaka’s -”

“Yeah well, I know how you can be with that mouth of yours when you get mad, so forgive me if I don’t -”

“I think you may be a bit drunk, Oikawa-san,” Shirabu said, “but I assure you, no one here bears anything like enmity toward Bokuto-san or his friends.”

“Including me?” Oikawa threw out.

Shirabu didn’t understand the hurt in Oikawa’s eyes. He remembered - remembered exactly the incident that was probably behind Oikawa’s comment about his mouth - but that had been ages ago, and Oikawa hadn’t cared about what he’d said. Oikawa had brushed him off like he was nothing and then gone on to earn top billing on kitchen shows around the country. 

Trying to ignore the sour taste of guilt that rose up in his throat, Shirabu said, “Including you.”

And, he was surprised to find, it was true. 

“Hey, Tooru,” came another voice. “Is everything ok?”

Hinata had stepped out into the hall and ws looking at both of them quizzically, one hand reaching out to tangle in Oikawa’s.

“I’m fine,” Oikawa said, sucking in a shuddering breath. “We were just having a friendly discussion. Because, you know, Shirabu and I are old friends.”

“Right,” Hinata said, glancing at Shirabu a moment before reaching up to rub at one of Oikawa’s reddened cheeks. “Uh, let’s get you back to the table - you know how happy Kenma is that you could make it tonight - and uh, maybe we could get some coffee for him? And no more sake.”

Shirabu nodded, watching as Oikawa let himself be led back to the table. He looked again at the table, still feeling like he’d missed something important. Many things. All of a sudden he noticed a lack of someone at the table - where was Iwaizumi? Iwaizumi and Oikawa used to be almost inseparable, he remembered. Though maybe Iwaizumi wasn’t friends with Bokuto and Kenma - but that didn’t sit right with him either. 

He thought about the last time he’d seen Iwaizumi, the look on his face as he came in on Shirabu arguing with Oikawa in the kitchen of their dorm back in University. There was no telling how many of Shirabu’s accusations that Iwaizumi had overheard. Oikawa had stalked out as soon as Iwaizumi came in, leaving parting words that made it very clear how pathetic he thought Shirabu was. Iwaizumi had followed.

Shirabu had spent the next few days holed up at Yamagata’s house, hiding from the world until Ushiwaka found him and dragged him away to make him forget his own name. He’d been so wrapped up in himself those last few weeks of school that he hadn’t even thought about what was happening with Oikawa. All he knew about the other man since then were the obnoxious masses of commercials and magazine covers and television shows showcasing the gorgeous man, that trademark smile front and center every time.

Maybe -

He’d ask Tendou later.

Tendou would know, and Tendou would be honest with him, as well.

Sighing, he walked back towards the kitchen, mulling things over in his mind until he came back to the scene that had inspired the whole confrontation.

He’d assumed, of course, that Bokuto and Kenma were together - they were married, after all, and the affection between them was palpable. But Kuroo seemed just as affectionate as Bokuto, and Akaashi -

Frowning, he wandered into the kitchen, successfully avoiding the annoying pastry chef and going to sit on the stool near Ushiwaka’s workstation. His lover gave him a measured look but didn’t stop with his cleanup.

Chewing his bottom lip, Shirabu murmured, “Question.”

“Mmm?”

“Are Bokuto and Kenma and Kuroo and Akaashi...”

Glancing at him, Ushiwaka called over one of his assistants. “Take over, will you?” he asked, then looked at Shirabu. “Let me wash my hands, and then let’s step into the back.”

“I didn’t mean...” Shirabu started, shocked that Ushiwaka was interrupting his shift.

“It’s fine. I needed a break anyhow, and this is important.”

Anxiety gnawed at Shirabu’s stomach as he followed Ushiwaka into the office, fingers twisting together.

“Now then,” Ushiwaka said. “Are you trying to ask me if the four of them are together?”

“Together?”

“Dating. Fucking. In love.”

Shirabu blanched. “Well, I didn’t want to gossip, it’s just - the way they are together, and then something Oikawa said -”

“They are,” Ushiwaka said. “As far as I’m aware, it’s the reason that Akaashi and Tendou broke up in university. They’ve been together for years. I’m not privy to the reasons why Bokuto and Kozume decided to get married, but I do know that the four of them are still in a polyamorous relationship. Does that bother you?”

“What? No, why would it bother me?”

“You seemed shocked.”

“I just - didn’t know, that’s all,” Shirabu said, shrugging. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone together like that.”

It wasn’t that he’d never heard of threesomes or polyamory. It was more - well. It was something he’d read about, the type of thing that inspired cautionary tales. The movies about relationships being broken up by jealousy. 

“They seem very happy,” he murmured, unaware he was looking down until Ushiwaka’s hand pulled his chin up so he could look into his eyes.

Whatever he saw there must’ve satisfied him, because he smiled. “They are.”

Ushiwaka held his gaze for a moment more, eyes turning thoughtful in a way Shirabu didn’t fully understand. He drew in a breath, about to ask him what was going on in his head, when there was a noise from the door.

“Ushiwaka-san, the Bokuto party is asking if they could thank the chef.”

“Tell them I’ll be out in just a moment,” Ushiwaka said, kissing Shirabu lightly before he stepped away.

“You should probably take Goshiki out there with you,” Shirabu said. “His dessert was a huge success, and he’s been excited about meeting Bokuto and Akaashi for days now. Hopefully, he won’t trip over himself and embarrass us all.”

Ushiwaka laughed, hugging Shirabu and kissing the top of his head. “I love you,” he murmured, shocking Shirabu to the core. “I appreciate all you’ve done to make sure this went off without a hitch.”

Then he was gone, leaving a very flustered Shirabu alone to try and calm his swiftly-beating heart.


	2. Ginger Tea

Shirabu went to bed before Ushiwaka that night. 

Oikawa and Hinata had left early, right after the restaurant closed. Shirabu joined Ushiwaka and Goshiki after everything was clean, leaning against Ushiwaka as he listened to the others talk about high school and university. By the time he’d gotten in the room Akaashi had moved to hold Kenma in his lap, nuzzling the sleepy man as Bokuto and Kuroo ruled the conversation. When the four of them left Shirabu took the opportunity to go to bed as well, but Ushiwaka and Goshiki stayed, drinking with some of the people that were left.

It surprised him that he hadn’t felt jealous at all. Surprised him more that half the time he looked at Goshiki, the man’s eyes were on him, shining the way Bokuto-san’s eyes shone when he looked at his husband. The difference, of course, was that Goshiki was happy because his creation had been the hit of the party.

“I couldn’t’ve done it without your advice, Shirabu-san,” he’d murmured before Shirabu took his leave.

It was nonsense of course. The honest truth was that Goshiki was an excellent pastry chef with quite a bit of potential that had come to fruition right when the restaurant needed it.

But he had to admit, the goat cheese had been a nice touch.

“You’re still awake,” Ushiwaka murmured, stripping out of his clothes and tossing them in the laundry before crawling into bed.

“Thinking,” Shirabu answered, allowing himself to be pulled into Ushiwaka’s chest. This was comfortable, this place, even if he could smell the alcohol on Ushiwaka’s breath. 

“Thinking, hmm?” Ushiwaka said, kissing the back of Shirabu’s neck gently. 

It had been a long day. Shirabu was grateful to just relax.

“Yes,” he answered. “You’re right, they are happy.”

“Still thinking about that, eh?” Ushiwaka murmured, fingertips tracing whimsical patterns on Shirabu’s stomach.

“It got me curious,” Shirabu admitted. “I mean, I’ve heard of people doing it to be kinky, but for them, it seems like more than that.”

A chuckle puffed against the back of his neck. “I’m sure the sex is a bonus,” Ushiwaka said, teeth tugging gently on the back of Shirabu’s ribbon. It wasn’t like they were strangers to kink, after all.

But they’d never tried a threesome.

Ushiwaka hadn’t even brought it up before. What they had was very very satisfying, after all. But the way Bokuto had looked at all of his lovers, the touches that passed between them - that went far beyond just sex.

He frowned.

“I wonder what made them want it,” Shirabu said. 

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka replied. “Perhaps they found something in someone else that they couldn’t find in the others? Tendou would know better. I know he and Akaashi talked a lot about it, back when Akaashi was thinking about dating them.”

Shirabu made a face. The last person he wanted to talk to about relationships was Tendou. Besides, it was none of his business, really. But still, it nagged at him.

“Wouldn’t it hurt? To not be everything your lover needed?” he asked, knowing the answer in his soul. 

It did hurt.

He wasn’t enough.

“A bit, sometimes,” Ushiwaka said, nuzzling his shoulder. “But it’s part of being human, I think. None of us can be everything that someone else needs.”

“Hah. Like I need someone else besides you,” Shirabu muttered.

“Of course you do.”

Twisting in his arms, Shirabu frowned up at Ushiwaka. “What are you talking about? I’m perfectly happy with you.”

He didn’t like the look on his lover’s face, the wistful smile as Ushiwaka brushed hair back from his forehead. 

“And I’m perfectly happy with you, Kenjirou,” Ushiwaka murmured, tracing fingertips over his cheek. “So happy that I would be glad to marry you and give you my name if that was what you desired. So happy that I want to grow old with you in my arms.”

Shirabu gaped at him, wondering what in the world had gotten into his stoic boyfriend. Sake. It had to be the sake.

“But,” Ushiwaka continued, “that doesn’t mean I’ll always be all you need.”

“I have friends,” Shirabu said, not at all comfortable with where this conversation was going. “I have our team here at the restaurant. But that’s different than...”

“Wanting things in bed that we both know I’m not good at providing?” Ushiwaka murmured.

Shirabu flushed. It was true that some of their early experiments had proven that there were things Ushiwaka truly did not enjoy that Shirabu did. “But you make me happy,” he insisted. “You make me feel incredible. Loved, cared for, protected, needed... owned. I don’t need those other things.”

“But you still want them, sometimes.”

“And you indulge me sometimes. Coming up here to find you laid out for my birthday - fuck, that was incredible. But it’s not about the mechanics. It’s about being with you because I’m in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you,” Ushiwaka said. “But what if you fall in love with someone else?”

“I would never,” Shirabu protested, frowning as the wistful look came back into Ushiwaka’s eyes. He didn’t like the way this conversation was going. Huffing he turned around, pressing his back against Ushiwaka’s chest. “Let’s stop talking about this. I’m tired and your drunk and this is ridiculous.”

Ushiwaka laughed, nuzzling close. “As you wish, my love.”

The words made Shirabu blush. Drunk Ushiwaka tended to be demonstrative Ushiwaka, and he had a really hard time dealing with it. The words turned him to mush inside. How this big, strong, gentle man would ever think he’d need someone else was completely beyond him. Ushiwaka was perfect.

But as he drifted off to sleep, he had to push away the image of a pair of bright eyes watching him, full of happy innocence and topped off with a black bowl cut.

~~~~~~~

In the end, it wasn’t Tendou he asked after all.

“Have you ever had a threesome?”

Semi paused in the act of wiping down glasses, then turned to fix him with a look usually reserved for some of the other members of the staff. “Excuse me?”

Sighing, Shirabu said, “No judgement. I’m just trying to figure something out.”

“By inquiring into my sex life. I would’ve thought Tendou had shared more information about that than you wanted to know.”

“Ugh, he has.”

“Hah! I knew it.”

“Yeah... but it’s not really about your sex life that I’m asking. I’m just curious, and you were in Amsterdam, right? I’ve always heard that things happen there, uh.”

Raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow Semi said, “Just because I was in Amsterdam - with Reon and Kawanishi, who, let me point out, still haven’t managed to figure out they should be fucking each other’s brains out - that doesn’t mean I stumbled onto an orgy.”

Shirabu winced. “I didn’t mean to imply you had.”

Studying him a moment, Semi said, “To answer your question, no I have not. In all actuality, Tendou is the only person I’ve ever been sexually attracted to, and I find what we do together fully satisfying.”

He really should not have started this conversation. “Yeah, I heard. Four times in one night, I get it.”

Lips twitching, Semi said, “And that’s just counting actual penetration, which came after he’d eaten me out and gotten me off with his fingers up my ass.”

Hanging his head, Shirabu said, “I really did not need to know that.’

To his surprise, Semi laughed. “Please. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that collar you wear underneath your shirt and tie, Shirabu. Neither of us are exactly innocent here, are we? And then, of course, there was that time at the onsen.”

“Ugh, I thought everyone was asleep.”

“Yeah, well it’s hard to stay asleep when you’re yelling out -”

“Ok, ok, I get it. Sorry for even asking you about the threesome thing.”

Smiling, Semi put down the glass and picked up another one. “It’s fine,” he said. “Not often you actually let yourself be teased, so forgive me for taking advantage.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem,” Shirabu said, resting his head in one hand and flicking his fingers at Semi with the other. 

“So do you want to have a threesome?”

Shirabu opened his mouth to say ‘no, of course not,’ then closed it again. Because while that was the obvious answer, it was also the obvious question, right? Why was he even thinking about this? “I guess I’ve just been thinking,” he said. “And wondering if Ushiwaka wants -”

But that was lame too, wasn’t it? Ushiwaka wasn’t the one who’d brought it up. But he seemed to know about polyamory, to have thought about it, at least in an abstract way. Seemed to think it was something Shirabu wanted for some reason.

“Ah,” Semi said. “Random or specific?”

“What?”

“The third person you’re thinking about.”

Oh. Shirabu frowned at the pictures his mind supplied, almost recoiling at the barrage of images of a body much more slender than Ushiwaka’s, with pale skin that would mark up so nicely and bright eyes that would watch him almost reverently, hips that would squirm as he held them in place, lips that would beg and plead, cheeks that would grow pink even as they were covered in tears... shit. “This is wrong,” he said.

“It’s just fantasy,” Semi murmured.

“Yeah, but you aren’t supposed to fantasize about people you kno-”

A loud curse rang out from the kitchen behind them, followed by the unmistakable sound of glass breaking against a concrete floor. The low moan and muffled string of words that followed made Shirabu’s eye twitch. He wanted to go yell. He wanted to punish. He wanted to be cruel.

He sucked in a breath, face flushing. Wrong. This was wrong.

But Semi’s eyes, when he looked up into them, were devoid of any judgement. If anything, they seemed kind. “Is it just about sexual attraction?” he asked.

Shirabu thought about it. He had to admit, at least to himself, that he did hold some level of affection for the younger man. He was just so earnest. He always wanted Shirabu’s approval, but he listened to criticisms without trying to shirk responsibility. Of course, he was annoying, loud and brash, always boasting - but he was also bright and shining in a way that Shirabu and Ushiwaka would never be. It was one of the reasons they worked - they both knew how to be still, how to sync up with each other in ways that Shirabu wouldn’t even dream of giving up. Goshiki was different.

Finding something in someone that you don’t find in your other lover. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted, watching as Semi’s pale fingers reached over to brush against the back of his hand. In sympathy, he thought.

“Well, I don’t know either,” Semi murmured. “But I know that Ushiwaka adores you, and wants nothing else but to see you happy. And he has a big heart.”

Shirabu nodded. He knew it.

The last thing in the world he wanted to do was anything that would jeopardize that, come in between them. He’d loved Ushiwaka with all that he was for years. It hurt to think that Ushiwaka thought he was inadequate in any way, when he was so incredibly perfect in every way. 

A thought rose unbidden, of laying in bed with Ushiwaka, Goshiki bound and kneeling between them.

Oh. Fuck.

This couldn’t just be about sex. That was the part that was wrong. Goshiki was abrasive and annoying, but he was also a person. He was special. He wasn’t just a sex object, even if a part of Shirabu wanted to treat him like one in a scene. But that same part also wanted to hold and cuddle him afterwards, ply him with water and chocolate and soft words and kisses until he was warm and present and smiling again. Both he and Ushiwaka knew Shirabu was a switch by nature, even if they’d learned early on that Ushiwaka really was not.

But even still, something about the images didn’t sit right with him. They were incomplete somehow.

Shirabu sighed.

“Seems like you have a lot to think about,” Semi said, picking up another glass.

“I guess,” Shirabu muttered. “Probably just the seven-year itch or something.”

Thankfully, Semi chose not to mention that Ushiwaka and Shirabu had been together longer than seven years. He could be kind.

It was probably the only way he put up with Tendou.

That reminded Shirabu of something else. “Do you know a guy named Iwaizumi? Iwaizumi Hajime, I think.”

Tilting his head to the side thoughtfully, Semi asked, “Oikawa’s friend?”

“Friend?”

“Yeah, if it’s who I’m thinking of. Muscly guy, kinda gruff? Tendou and I went out on a couple of double dates with them.”

“After university?”

“After you all graduated, yeah,” Semi said, shrugging. “Think they broke up a couple years ago. I heard he moved back to Miyagi, got married to some girl there. They’re still good friends tho, I think. Pretty sure Tendou had lunch with him and his wife when he went up there to cover some of the regional high school matches last fall. Why?”

“No reason, really,” Shirabu said. Relaxing. Of course he wasn’t the cause of some massive split between Oikawa and his best friend. Of course they were ok. He still felt vaguely guilty about the pain in Oikawa’s eyes, but the past was the past. They’d all been stupid kids. He’d been stupid, and jealous, and insecure, and petty. Probably still was sometimes.

But he was also loved.

“Thank you, Semi,” he murmured, looking up at the older man. 

“No problem,” Semi said, lips quirking. “It’s what bartenders are here for, right? Listen to people’s problems, hand out free advice.”

“Yeah. Still.”

“It’s fine. Oh, and also, I’m going to be needing next Friday off, boss.”

“Semi!” Shirabu gasped, looking at him to see if he was serious. He was. He was smiling, but he was also dead serious. Groaning, Shirabu said, “I thought your advice was free.”

“Tips greatly appreciated.”

“Yeah yeah,” Shirabu muttered, waving as he pushed away from the bar. He wondered how much he’d have to bribe Kawanishi to get him to take over Semi’s shift. Too much, probably.

Still, it was worth it.

Smiling to himself he checked the time, and then moved to the front to get ready to welcome their first customers of the evening.

~~~~~~~~~

Shirabu woke and immediately scrambled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. He made it just in time. Gross, this was gross, he hated this and there was no reason for it. He hadn’t even drunk anything the night before and everything ached and he was hot -

“Hey, hey,” Ushiwaka said, kneeling behind him and pulling his hair back from his face. “You ok?”

“I -” he started, then retched again, feeling Ushiwaka rub his back, humming softly, a calm anchoring presence in the midst of things absolutely sucking.

“Done?” Ushiwaka finally asked, handing him a small plastic cup of water. 

Shirabu rinsed his mouth and spit it out, making a face at the faint taste of mouthwash. The taste of anything sweet turned his stomach.

Still, his mouth did feel a little cleaner. 

“I hope so,” he croaked, leaning back against Ushiwaka as he tried to catch his breath. “I don’t know why in the world...”

Ushiwaka lifted a hand to feel his forehead and said, “Hmm, I hope it’s not morning sickness.”

“Morning sickness?” Shirabu asked, letting his head rest against the other man’s shoulder as he looked up at him.

“Yes,” Ushiwaka said, looking down with a straight face. “You would tell me if you were pregnant, right?”

Shirabu stared.

“I’m going to hit you,” he said finally.

Ushiwaka’s lips quirked. “I’m not stopping you,” he said, gathering Shirabu into his arms.

“I’m going to hit you as soon as everything stops hurting and the world stops spinning.”

“How bad?”

“Just aching, really. Not bad,” Shirabu replied. “Just cold.”

Humming a moment, Ushiwaka said, “Well, you’re burning up, but it doesn’t seem to be excessive. Are you going to be sick again, or can I carry you back to bed?”

Shirabu considered. He really wasn’t sure there was anything left in his stomach, and the thought of bed sounded really good. “Please.”

The next few minutes were filled with movement. Ushiwaka took him to bed and tucked him in, pulling out a pajama shirt because Shirabu complained he was still too cold. Then it was the thermometer, and a glass of water with some pills, and a damp washcloth folded and placed over his eyes. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Shirabu finally said. “Today’s a big day, isn’t it? You can’t get sick.”

Ushiwaka had pulled a chair up next to the bed. He was sitting in it, one hand holding Shirabu’s, rubbing gently at the crease between thumb and forefinger. “It is. The mayor is bringing one of his congressional colleagues for lunch. You’ve been in talks with his campaign manager about catering their big fundraiser, correct?”

“Yes,” Shirabu said, “so you can’t get sick. Ugh. I can’t get sick. I should be there to meet them, and I was supposed to do the books today, and it’s Goshiki’s day off so you’ll be shorthanded in the kitchen.”

“No, I won’t,” Ushiwaka murmured. “You scheduled more than enough people, we’ll be fine. He’ll probably show up anyway. Want to work on some new recipe.”

“And then he’ll be underfoot and there will be too many people around -”

Laughing, Ushiwaka squeezed his hand. “We’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine.”

Shirabu huffed and snuggled down deeper into the comforter, trying to relax. He felt exhausted, which was stupid since he’d had a good night’s sleep, but sickness didn’t play by the rules. It was early. He hoped this wasn’t anything serious. He had far too much to do. He didn’t have time to be sick.

He felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness as Ushiwaka squeezed his hand lightly, the creak of the chair telling him his lover had gotten up. Then it was the sound of running water in the shower and the touch of Ushiwaka’s hand against his forehead, and closing doors as Ushiwaka went down to open up the restaurant.

And then, sleep.

~~~~~

Shirabu was woken by the sound of knocking on their bedroom door.

“What,” he croaked, struggling to free himself from all the covers surrounding him. 

“Ah, Shirabu-san? Is it alright if I come in?”

Pausing, Shirabu pulled the now-sticky washcloth from his forehead and tossed it to the side, wiping at his skin as he tried to process the voice.

“Goshiki?” he finally asked, incredulous.

“Yes. Ushiwaka-san asked me if I could come up here and check on you, make sure you were doing alright.”

A thousand thoughts ran through Shirabu’s mind. He glanced over at the clock. Eleven thirty-eight. Sighing, he tried to stretch, the ache in his muscles making him wince. He let thoughts turn over in his mind, wondering why Ushiwaka had invited Goshiki up here, of all people. It made him suspicious for a moment. What if Ushiwaka was up to something?

Then the thought passed. This was, after all, Ushiwaka he was thinking about. His boyfriend had a tendency to be bluntly honest.

And surprisingly considerate.

“Um, Shirabu-san, can I...”

“Come in,” Shirabu said, watching as the door opened. He wasn’t used to seeing Goshiki out of his uniform. He was wearing a light blue t-shirt with some sort of spaceship on the front, and a pair of jeans. In his hands, he was carrying two mugs.

“Thank you,” Goshiki asked, looking around the room with bright eyes. 

For a moment Shirabu worried about the idea of what he’d see. It wasn’t that their bedroom was messy, by any means, but still - it was an intimate space. Involuntarily he glanced up at the headboard, breath catching as he saw the red silk scarf still tied around the bedpost from a few nights before. Hopefully, Goshiki wouldn’t notice or would think it was just decoration.

Though really, the red would look so good against Goshiki’s pale skin -

Pushing those thoughts down, Shirabu sat up and looked at the mugs. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Ginger tea,” Goshiki said, handing one of the mugs to him before sitting in the chair next to the bed. “I always give it to my nieces when they’re sick. I have some soup too if you feel up to it later. It’s light.”

Making a small noise Shirabu brought the mug to his lips, inhaling the spicy scent. He took a sip, frowning as the hot liquid burned his tongue. Swallowing, he blew on the mug, glancing over at Goshiki.

“It’s good,” he admitted after another sip.

Goshiki beamed at the praise. “I put honey in it. Honey helps the immune system. That’s what my mom always told me.”

“Hmm,” Shirabu replied, sitting back as much as was comfortable with the mug in his hands. He let his gaze drift over Goshiki. He was looking around the room again, occasionally taking sips of his own tea. His dark hair was almost mesmerizing as it swayed with his movements. “I didn’t know you had nieces.”

“Two of them!” Goshiki replied, turning his full attention back to Shirabu. “I live with my brother and his wife right now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah! They were already living here when I decided I wanted to go to university in the city, so I just moved in with them. Hana was only six then, and Michiko was pregnant with Kyouko. I got to see them grow up.”

Shirabu liked the way Goshiki’s face lit up as he talked about his family. It was a new side of him, something unexpected. “Do they like your cooking too?”

“Of course!” Goshiki exclaimed, leaning forward in his seat. “They’re the best test-tasters ever! Well, ah, apart from Shirabu-san.”

Laughing, Shirabu took another sip of the tea, glancing at the bottle of pills on the table. “You don’t have to flatter me like that, it’s fine.”

“No, but it’s true! Even Ushiwaka-san says so! Shirabu-san has the best taste. I doubt even Akaashi has a more discriminating palate than you!”

Shirabu huffed. “Now you’re just being ridiculous,” he said, hunching his shoulders. His cheeks were heating up. He wondered if it was because of the fever. He wondered if he still had a fever. 

“No, it’s the truth!”

Psh. This guy. Definitely nothing like Ushiwaka.

Shirabu had to admit it didn’t feel bad to be praised, though, even if he was sure the praise was completely foolish. He’d always liked praise. When Ushiwaka praised it was in soft murmurs, gentle encouragement. Goshiki, though... he was again reminded of the image of an excited puppy, tail wagging as he looked up for approval. 

Hiding a smile, he motioned to the bottle on the bedside table. “Can you get me a couple of those?” he asked.

“What? Oh! Of course! Is your stomach feeling any better?”

“Hmm,” Shirabu murmured, thinking about it. “The tea helped, I think.”

“I’m glad!” Goshiki said, getting a couple of pills out of the bottle and placing them in Shirabu’s open hand. His fingertips pressed against Shirabu’s skin for just a moment, and Shirabu couldn’t help but catch the soft inhale the other man made at the contact.

Lifting his chin Shirabu took the pills, swallowing down a good mouthful of the cooling tea to wash them down. He couldn’t help but notice the way Goshiki watched him, gaze trailing from his eyes to his neck, a soft flush creeping up the younger man’s cheeks. 

It confused him a little. He was sick for pete’s sake - hopefully, Goshiki wasn’t one of those who had a thing for sick people? And Shirabu was wearing a sleep shirt, and it was buttoned up most of the way -

Oh. The collar?

“I’ll go heat up some soup if you want,” Goshiki said, standing and rushing out of the room without waiting for an answer.

Frowning, Shirabu lifted his hand to the dark ribbon, wondering if that was what had bothered him. It didn’t look like a normal collar, though. The subtlety was one of the reasons Shirabu liked it, most people would probably just think it was a fashion accessory if they happened to see it. He glanced down at himself the best he could, tugging at the shirt and realizing that the slight gape revealed some of the dark red marks that mottled his skin.

Shirabu scowled, doing up the top two buttons even though they made him feel stuffy. Was that Ushiwaka’s plan? Did he think Goshiki paid too much attention to Shirabu, did he want to make it clear that Shirabu was his, flaunt his territory somehow?

That wasn’t outside the bounds of possibility. Ushiwaka sometimes said things like that in the middle of sex, talked about marking him up, teased about showing him off, making everyone jealous. But that was just bedroom talk. Exhibitionism was one of those kinks they talked about in the heat of the moment, not something they acted on.

Frowning, Shirabu finished his tea and put the mug to the side, fingers working in the fabric of his comforter as he tried to figure things out.


	3. Coconut Milk Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm upping the rating on this chapter. It's Ushiwaka's fault. Then again, this story is about their relationship, and their sex life is a big part of how they interact, so... yeah.

“Can I come in?” Goshiki asked, stopping right outside the open door.

Raising an eyebrow, Shirabu said, “Yes?”

“Ok.”

He looked down at the tray as he entered, only glancing up at Shirabu briefly as he handed him the tray. “Ah, if you want, I can leave,” he said, sitting on the edge of the chair and messing with his fingers. 

That was odd. Goshiki was normally full speed ahead. For him to be this flustered -

For a moment Shirabu worried if the other man was bothered by what he’d seen. Considering the quick glances Goshiki kept stealing at him, though, Shirabu didn’t think that was the case. Indeed, the one time Goshiki looked into his eyes he started blushing, looking away with a quick inhale of breath and hunching over. 

“It’s fine,” Shirabu finally said. “I don’t mind you sticking around. That is unless you have things to do.”

“No no, that’s fine,” Goshiki said. “I have a book in the other room if you want to nap - or we could watch - ah - you don’t have a television?”

Shirabu shook his head. “Ushiwaka doesn’t believe in having a television in the bedroom.”

“Oh.”

For some reason, the reminder of Ushiwaka just deepened the blush. Really, it was rather cute.

Taking a spoonful of soup Shirabu blew on it carefully before tasting.

“This is really good,” he said, surprised. It was light and brothy with a faint citrus taste. Coconut milk, maybe. No meat or vegetables, just some thin scallions floating on top. 

“You like it?” Goshiki asked, brightening considerably. “It’s just the base. Normally I add things like mushrooms or chicken, but that would probably be too heavy for you right now.”

“It is good. Reminds me of -”

“Hmm?”

“Childhood,” Shirabu said, pushing away memories of his mother and the relationship they used to have. 

Goshiki didn’t pry. For that, he was thankful. Instead, he just watched Shirabu as he ate, eyes bright again but softer somehow, happy. “My nieces like it too. They always like it when I make them soup on my nights off. Sometimes I make udon or ramen, and on special occasions, I’ll even make them tempura. Hot pot is probably their favorite, though.”

“It sounds nice,” Shirabu said. He wasn’t used to dealing with children himself.

“I’ll need to move out soon, I think,” Goshiki murmured. He’d relaxed, leaning back in the chair. “Hana will be thirteen soon. Teenagers should have their own room, don’t you think? Michiko keeps talking about possibly buying a house, but I’m pretty sure that’s still a ways off.”

Goshiki was thoughtful. 

That wasn’t really something Shirabu had expected. The younger man had always seemed like he just charged headfirst into whatever impulse caught his attention. But there was more to him than that.

“I’m sure you’ll find a place,” Shirabu said, lifting the bowl to drink the last few drops of soup. “If you go get your book, can you bring my laptop in here? I’m not really supposed to use it in bed, but I think I can make an exception for being sick.”

“Yes! Sure, Shirabu-san!” Goshiki exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing the tray and the mugs of tea before leaving to the kitchen. 

Yawning, Shirabu wondered if he really had it in him to do work. The nausea had gone down, thankfully, but he still felt woozy and hot. 

He briefly wondered if it would be alright to toss the comforter to the side and just curl up with a sheet to cover him. Somehow he didn’t think that was the best idea. Goshiki probably didn’t need to get a clue that Shirabu wasn’t wearing anything but the sleep shirt and his collar.

Smirking at that he watched as Goshiki came back into the room, laptop bag in one hand and a paperback novel in the other.

“Thank you,” Shirabu said, taking the laptop bag and setting it beside him. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, this? It’s just a novel. Science fiction. People exploring the distant planets, coming across alien artifacts, that type of stuff.

“Sounds interesting.”

“Really?” Goshiki asked, eyes wide.

Too cute. And Shirabu really didn’t feel up to doing work yet, anyways. “Yes, really,” Shirabu said. “Could you tell me more about it?”

Goshiki’s voice as he launched into the backstory of the novel was strangely soothing. Shirabu curled up on his side, watching as the boy waved his hands as he talked about the story. It did sound interesting. Probably not anything Shirabu would ever read on his own, but then again, he’d never really been a fan. But it was enough that Goshiki enjoyed it.

It was enough to have unconsciousness tug at him, pulling him into sleep again even though he found he really did want to hear more about the story.

His dreams were a mixture of spaceships and robots and Goshiki and Ushiwaka. 

When he woke, Goshiki was sleeping.

His head was resting against the wing of the chair, and his book was held limp in his hands. Shirabu smiled. Goshiki’s hair - he wondered if it was as soft as it looked. Soft and heavy, The way the light reflected off it, it felt like his hair was special in a way that Shirabu’s had never been. He wanted to reach out and feel, satisfy his curiosity. 

A slight movement caught his attention and he looked up, seeing Ushiwaka leaning against their doorframe. The look in his eyes was dark, but it was a good dark. The type that meant that Ushiwaka was pleased, pleased in a way that might eventually involve hours and hours of play.

“Ushiwaka, welcome home,” Shirabu said.

“It is a good day to come home,” Ushiwaka agreed, moving forward and resting a hand on the back of Goshiki’s chair. “I trust he took good care of you?”

“Yes,” Shirabu said, unable to keep the trace of a smile from his lips as he looked at the sleeping man. “Tea, and soup, and company. Thank you for sending him up.”

Ushiwaka nodded, eyes narrowing as he glanced at the bed. “You used your laptop in here?”

“I didn’t even open it,” Shirabu said, scowling. Ushiwaka had very particular ideas about what should go on in their bedroom - namely, sleeping, sex, and cuddling. The use of electronic devices was not one of those things. “Save the lecture, please. Today was supposed to be a day of catching up on the receipts and making sure everything’s in order for quarterly reports. I was feeling better after lunch so I thought I might work on it, that’s all. I ended up sleeping instead.”

“You needed your rest,” Ushiwaka said. He still didn’t look completely happy about Shirabu’s explanation, but he could deal. 

Reaching out, Ushiwaka tousled Goshiki’s hair. The act made Shirabu inhale, instantly stabbed with jealousy. 

“Wake up, Goshiki,” Ushiwaka murmured.

“Hmm?” Goshiki said, yawning and twisting around to look at Ushiwaka. He blinked a few times, then sat up straight. “Oh! Hello! Ushiwaka-san, I’m so sorry I fell asleep in your home! Shirabu-san is - ah, I didn’t - ah -”

Jealousy warred with amusement and confusion in Shirabu’s chest. A newly-woken Goshiki was adorable, he had to admit - it was no wonder Ushiwaka was giving him a fond look. Shirabu probably was giving him the same look, and Goshiki’s cheeks were so red when he looked over at the bed that Shirabu didn’t understand it.

He liked it though. Liked the thought that Goshiki was embarrassed because of him. “You didn’t what, Goshiki?” Shirabu asked.

“Ah, nothing, Shirabu-san,” Goshiki replied, guilt lacing the quick glance the man shot him. 

Shirabu wanted to chase that guilt down to the source and drink it all, wring a confession out of Goshiki even if it was just about dirty thoughts. 

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka said, drawing Shirabu’s attention. 

Shirabu flushed. 

“I think you should probably be going home, correct Goshiki? Since it’s getting late.”

“What? Oh, ah, yes!” Goshiki said, scrambling to get up. He almost dropped his book but grabbed it as he stood, giving Shirabu a quick bow.

“Four tomorrow?” Ushiwaka asked. 

“Yes, Ushiwaka-san! I’ll see you then - ah, and you too, Shirabu-san. If you’re feeling better.”

“I think your care today greatly increased his health,” Ushiwaka said, reaching over and picking the laptop up off the bed. “I’ll see you out.”

“Bye,” Shirabu murmured, shaking his head at the swiftly retreating man. Ushiwaka followed him out. It left Shirabu with a few moments to compose his thoughts.

It wasn’t really long enough, but that was normal.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Ushiwaka said as he came back into the room. 

Laying back, Shirabu said, “Thank you. How was work?” He closed his eyes as Ushiwaka’s hand came down to brush over his forehead, the temperature check turning into a caress that traced his eyelids, cheeks, and lips.

“Good,” Ushiwaka said, tugging the covers back from Shirabu’s body. “The mayor seemed pleased. You aren’t wearing underwear?”

Raising an eyebrow Shirabu said, “No? You dressed me this morning, remember?”

“True,” Ushiwaka said. “You don’t think he -”

“Goshiki?” Shirabu asked, frowning. “What? No. He’s not that bold. Besides, I’m sick, there’s nothing particularly enticing about that.”

“I find your body enticing,” Ushiwaka said, reaching out and pushing up the side of Shirabu’s sleep shirt, “and he is attracted to you.”

Shirabu scowled, tugging the shirt back down. “I’m sick,” he repeated, “and I’m pretty sure he’s actually attracted to you. Ushiwaka-san.”

“The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.”

Shirabu met Ushiwaka’s gaze, feeling like the whole conversation was more than just a little surreal. Were they really talking about this?

Did he want to have this conversation?

He frowned. “Do you -” he started, fear stopping him from finishing the question. 

“Do I what?” Ushiwaka asked.

Shaking his head, Shirabu said, “Nothing.”

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if Ushiwaka liked Goshiki. He was fairly certain he knew the answer anyways. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear it out loud.

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka said. Then he moved, scooping Shirabu up from the bed and dropping him into the chair.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“Changing the sheets,” Ushiwaka said. “And then you’re going to take a shower. You’ll feel even better when you’re clean.”

Shirabu huffed, pulling his legs to his chest as he curled up in the chair. “Always deciding everything,” he groused. 

Chuckling, Ushiwaka said, “Just taking care of you, my love.”

That was unfair. Shirabu rested his head against the back of the chair, feeling the smile involuntarily tugging at his lips. He blamed Tendou for that one. Tendou and the stupid play he’d made them do for Valentines one year, the play that had revealed to Ushiwaka exactly how weak Shirabu was to cheesy romantic dialog. Fortunately, it wasn’t a weapon he pulled out very often.

“There,” Ushiwaka said, patting the fresh sheets. Then he turned to pick Shirabu up from the chair.

“I can walk on my own,” Shirabu said, making absolutely no move to get out of Ushiwaka’s hold.

“You’re sick.”

“I am sick,” replied Shirabu, resting his head against Ushiwaka’s chest. “So no kisses. No messing around, either.”

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka said. “No kisses. However, since you’re sick and you’ve spent all day in bed, I will need to make sure you’re thoroughly clean.”

Shirabu huffed at that, unable to stop the shiver that raced down his back. Ushiwaka set him down on the bathroom counter and he leaned back against the mirror, watching his lover with hooded eyes as Ushiwaka carefully unbuttoned the sleep shirt. His fingertips lingered over the marks on Shirabu’s chest, a smug smile crossing his face. 

He wanted to roll his eyes. Instead, he just sat up as Ushiwaka tugged the shirt off and undid the clasp of his collar, setting them to the side. “Maybe I should just work on the books tomorrow night,” Shirabu mused, resting back against the cool glass of the mirror and watching as Ushiwaka stripped out of his work clothes. “You have that restaurant association meeting to go to anyway, and -”

“Tendou wants to take you out tomorrow,” Ushiwaka said, putting their clothes in the laundry basket.

Shirabu scowled. “Why didn’t he just ask me?”

“We were talking. He thought it would be a good idea.”

“Thought what would be a good idea?”

Ushiwaka didn’t answer, just walked over and tugged Shirabu’s hips forward until he was standing on the floor. Shirabu reached out and caught himself, holding onto Ushiwaka’s arms. He let himself be distracted by the feel of muscles under his hands, gaze tracing down over skin stretched taught over a form that hadn’t really changed much from their volleyball days. Sure, Ushiwaka now carried a few more pounds, but he was still the most powerful man Shirabu knew. 

And his.

Why was he even wasting thoughts about anyone else?

“Dizzy?” Ushiwaka asked, one hand sliding up to tilt Shirabu’s head back.

“No,” Shirabu replied. He cataloged his physical condition. “I haven’t really felt nauseous since around lunchtime. Still a little tired, and some ache in my muscles, but that could be from lying around all day.”

“Hmm. Well, I’ll have my hands on you the whole time, but let me know if you get dizzy, ok? We can always just take a bath.”

Shirabu made a face. “Bathing while you’re still dirty is gross.”

Ushiwaka laughed, tugging him toward the shower. “True,” he said, “but we aren’t in public, so I’d be willing to make an exception to make you feel better. Here, hands.”

The tiles were cool as Shirabu leaned against them, stretching his arms up to grasp the handle Ushiwaka had installed at just the right height. He let his hips be pulled back, ankles nudged out, leaving him with his face and arms resting against the tile while his body was at Ushiwaka’s disposal. 

Fingers slid down his backbone, making him arch as they dipped down, brushing at the top of his crack. “It’s too bad you’re sick,” Ushiwaka mused.

Shirabu just murmured something inaudible, relaxing in this space. He knew Ushiwaka didn’t really expect an answer. He just wanted to take care of him, spoil him, make him feel good. Love him. The thought was as overwhelming as always, so Shirabu just breathed in and out, listening as Ushiwaka pulled the shower head down and started the water.

Ushiwaka waited till it was warm before letting the water touch Shirabu’s skin. He was always good that way. Shirabu didn’t like the shock of cold water and had to be worked up to it being hot. He never liked it quite as hot as Ushiwaka did, but that didn’t matter. Their shower had a raised area in the back half, and he normally sat there after Ushiwaka washed him, watching his lover scrub himself down.

So many habits. Rituals. Indulgences. Ushiwaka knew him inside and out, and he knew Ushiwaka. This was home, and he was smart enough to know that any fears that he would ever lose that home were purely irrational. Didn’t mean he didn’t have them. 

But it did make it easier to let them go.

A strong hand followed the stream of water on his skin, smoothing it everywhere. Ushiwaka stepped close to bring the showerhead around to wet down his front. Shirabu gave a little sigh as their bodies pressed together. Ushiwaka’s cock fit so perfectly between his cheeks like this. It wasn’t hard, not really. Still, he thought about reminding him that he wasn’t in the mood for sex because he was sick.

Of course, it wasn’t completely the truth - but Shirabu blamed that on years of conditioning, the bone-deep knowledge of exactly how good it was to let Ushiwaka fully take care of him in the shower. Still, he knew he wasn’t really up for anything tonight. 

Ushiwaka knew that too.

Hopefully.

Once he was fully wet Ushiwaka placed the showerhead back in the cradle, leaning back and opening the soap. Lavender tonight. Shirabu liked lavender. 

He liked it, even more, worked into a lather and spread over his body by Ushiwaka’s hands, rubbing and squeezing all the tension out of his muscles. It was perfectly innocent at first. Just enough to get him clean. Then the movements changed, to where if it had been anyone else Shirabu wouldn’t’ve been suspicious. A masseuse could touch him like this and he’d dismiss it out of hand. 

But Ushiwaka knew his body. Ushiwaka knew all his spots, and exactly how to touch to trip the next level of arousal, working him up until he was caught somewhere between languid relaxation and breathless anticipation. 

“Not fair,” Shirabu breathed out, head hanging down between his arms as he arched back towards the fingers sliding down between his cheeks.

“I’m just making sure you’re clean, Kenjirou,” Ushiwaka murmured, amusement lacing his voice.

Such a liar he was. 

“I’m sick,” Shirabu protested. “And you haven’t washed my hair.”

Ushiwaka laughed, stepping back. “You’re so spoiled,” he said, taking the showerhead from the cradle and sluicing water over Shirabu’s skin.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yours, obviously,” Ushiwaka replied, moving the water to wet down Shirabu’s hair. “For being so incredibly easy to spoil. Stand up.”

Shirabu stood, tilting his head back and looking up at Ushiwaka as he set the shower head back and reached for the shampoo. He wished he wasn’t sick. Sometimes at this point, he could seduce Ushiwaka into kisses. He loved making out under the water from the shower, hooking an arm around Ushiwaka’s neck and tugging at him while being pressed back against the tile, shampoo utterly forgotten. That could lead to a multitude of possibilities.

But not today.

Today, he just closed his eyes and leaned his head back, let Ushiwaka steady him with one hand while the other worked shampoo into his scalp. It felt incredible. His boyfriend had very big hands. Shirabu was good at giving himself over to those hands.

In part, because he knew the results.

He knew exactly what Ushiwaka’s intake of breath meant. If he opened his eyes, he would see Ushiwaka staring down at his open mouth, or maybe the arc of his neck as he exposed it. He knew he was playing with fire. He almost didn’t care.

Ushiwaka shifted his grip suddenly, pulling Shirabu close enough that he could feel just how he was affecting the larger man. The movement shocked him enough that he blinked his eyes open, staring at Ushiwaka for a moment, feeling the weight of the desire in his gaze. It always made his stomach drop. Made him feel small, and vulnerable, and delicious. 

“Close your eyes,” Ushiwaka said, and Shirabu obeyed.

He felt Ushiwaka’s hand leave his hair, heard him bringing the showerhead closer, closed his mouth as the water rained down on him to rinse away all the shampoo. Ushiwaka moved his head to make sure all the suds were out, then let him fell back against the tiles.

“Hands,” Ushiwaka said.

“But -”

“Hands.”

Shirabu kept his eyes closed as he reached back up for the handle, listening as the water splashed against the tiles to his right. Then it was back on him. He sucked in a breath as Ushiwaka changed the water from a wide stream to a fixed pulse, twitching as it moved over sensitive spots on his chest. 

“Look at you,” Ushiwaka murmured. “Not even touching you and you’re going to come undone. So beautiful.”

So cruel, Shirabu thought, as the spray left off abusing his nipples and traveled down to the sensitive skin of his stomach, threatening to go lower. There he really did start to squirm, breath coming in quick gasps. It was too much. There was a word on the tip of his tongue but he hesitated to say it because he didn’t really want to stop. It was good, his heart was beating faster than the water hit his skin, it was just that his fingers were slipping as they tried to hold the handle and his foot hit a spot on the tub floor with soap suds and -

“Shit,” Ushiwaka murmured, dropping the showerhead and grabbing Shirabu to pull him close. “I’ve got you, got you baby.”

Shuddering Shirabu leaned against him, clinging to him as Ushiwaka reached over to turn off the water before moving them to the seat at the back of the shower.

“I think the word you were looking for,” Ushiwaka chided, “was yellow.”

“Shut up,” Shirabu said. “Not my fault you’re insatiable.”

“Hard not to be when you offer yourself up so completely. And considering this,” Ushiwaka said, letting a hand slide down to cup Shirabu’s groin, “I’m relatively certain you wanted it just as much as I did.”

“Yeah well,” Shirabu started, wanting to argue that arousal was just a physical reaction and not a sign of actual desire. But that was semantics. Ushiwaka knew that, and knew all the signs that said Shirabu was all in. “Being willing is not always the same as being able.”

“I know,” Ushiwaka said, moving his hand and cuddling Shirabu in his lap. He kissed the top of his head and said, “Do you want to stop? Or we can move, or do something lighter?”

“Lighter, I think,” Shirabu murmured. “Just - I’m not up for -”

“I know, I know. Alright. I’m going to move you again.”

Shirabu just nodded, letting himself go limp as Ushiwaka arranged him so that he was sitting on his lap, back to his lover’s chest, legs spread open on either side of his knees. He could feel Ushiwaka’s cock pressing against his backside, proof of his lover’s desire. He knew that for right now, the attention would be fully on him. Spoiled indeed.

“What if I tell you a bedtime story,” Ushiwaka murmured, hand sliding down to wrap around Shirabu’s cock. “No edging, no real teasing - just listen to my words, and feel, and relax. I’ve got you.”

No real teasing? Shirabu wanted to laugh at that, especially as Ushiwaka’s free hand slid up to press against his chest, fingernail scraping over a nipple that had been sensitized by the water before. It made his hips jerk, thrusting into a hand that was instantly loosened.

“Waka,” Shirabu whined, earning himself a soft nip.

“Be still. You know the rules.”

He did. Knew that in truth, the rules were whatever Ushiwaka decided they were at the moment. Still, relaxing into what was being done to him rather than reacting was relatively standard, and something Shirabu enjoyed quite a bit. More when he wasn’t feeling crappy, though.

“So, bedtime story,” Ushiwaka murmured, hand gently stroking as he hummed in thought. “Could talk about how you looked in bed today. Cheeks flushed with fever, skin pale other than that. But let’s talk about Goshiki.”

“Right now?” Shirabu gasped out, “Right now with your hand on my cock? You want to talk about another man?”

Ushiwaka laughed, squeezing in a way that had Shirabu gasping and settling back down. “I do,” he said. “What would’ve happened between you if I hadn’t come back? Shh, shh. I don’t want you to talk, just think.”

He was thinking, but he didn’t like how it made him feel. Nothing would’ve happened if Ushiwaka hadn’t come home. He would never betray him like that. Did Ushiwaka want him to?

The hand stroking his cock stilled, and Ushiwaka shifted so that he could see his face. “Maybe I shouldn’t’ve asked you to think.”

“It’s just - he’s our friend,” Shirabu said. “It doesn’t feel right to just -”

Ushiwaka sighed, pressing their foreheads together and chuckling under his breath. “You are so - are you going to tell me you didn’t jack off to me back before you confessed to me? I certainly thought about you, what it would be like to finally get my hands on you, open you up... what your lips would look like wrapped around my cock. The reality was better.”

His hand was moving again, and he’d moved to kiss Shirabu’s neck, whispering words against his skin. The thought of Ushiwaka jacking off to him before they’d taken things to the next level - it was always hot, he had to admit. He’d wanted Ushiwaka for so long, to know that his lover had mapped out a plan of how to wreck his body before they’d even kissed - that thought was terribly satisfying.

Shirabu was falling back into that heady space of desire and submission when Ushiwaka next spoke.

“I bet he’s thinking of you right now,” he murmured. “He was at least half-hard when he left in such a rush, you know - do you think he’s sensitive like a teenager? That he’d get hard for you at the drop of a hat? Just a hand in his hair - it’s soft you know, softer than you might think. Can you imagine having your hands in it as he kneels before you, eyes bright, so eager to please? He’s always talking about you, you know. ‘I hope Shirabu-san likes this’, or ‘Shirabu-san told me I should add that.’ I bet he’d do anything you wanted. Just think of it, so pliant. He’d even let you use that rope you like so much, be still, not speak, just let out soft little gasps as you tie your knots -”

“Red,” Shirabu murmured, picturing it in his mind.

The hand immediately stopped. “What?” Ushiwaka asked, concerned.

It took a moment for Shirabu to process what was wrong, then he laughed. “Red rope,” he murmured, hand squeezing on Ushiwaka’s arm, “not Azuki.”

“Oh,” Ushiwaka said, chuckling before kissing his shoulder. He started stroking again, fingers twisting in the way Shirabu loved. “Red rope, eh? Fuck, baby, with that pale skin of his, that black hair - that’s perfect. Would you blindfold him, tie his eyes so he wouldn’t see? You think he’d let you plug up his ears, the way you wanted to with me? Imagine him all tied up, no sight, no hearing, fully at your mercy. You’d make him cry. I know you, you’d be cruel to him, soak the blindfold with his tears as you worked him over, listen to all the gasps and pleas you could wring from his poor body without giving him any relief, stretch him open and fuck him -

“Fuck!” Shirabu gasped, body convulsing in pleasure as the words and thoughts and perfect friction on his cock sent him over the edge.

“Shh, shh, I’ve got you,” Ushiwaka murmured, hands moving to hold Shirabu close, caressing him as he rode out the wave of his pleasure. “Got you baby, so beautiful.”

Shirabu clung to Ushiwaka’s arms. He felt dizzy again like the world had no gravity, but he knew these arms wouldn’t let him go. Writhing a bit he shifted, fully aware of Ushiwaka’s cock as it rubbed against his ass and then his thigh as he was moved, cuddled, held.

“You’re so perverted,” he finally said, nuzzling Ushiwaka.

He felt the chuckle roll through Ushiwaka’s chest. “I’m not the one who just got off to the idea of tying up and torturing -”

“It’s not torture,” Shirabu objected, frowning. “It’s just - sensation. And marking him up. It’s just - what you do is torture, sheesh.”

“You love it,” Ushiwaka murmured, kissing the top of his head.

“I love you,” Shirabu countered, thinking back on some of their past sessions. Nights where he’d dropped so low into his pleasure that he’d lost any ability to speak, half blacked-out from too much pleasure, mind completely gone until all he could do was react and give in to everything Ushiwaka asked because answering his desire felt good in a way that mere physical sensation couldn’t even touch. “Love pleasing you. Giving myself to you.”

Ushiwaka groaned, rutting against his hip, fingers tightening on his skin. “My Shirabu,” he murmured. “My Kenjirou. Will you let me get off on you?”

“Yes,” he replied. 

“Will you turn and wrap yourself around me, let me look at you, touch you? Will you watch me?”

Shirabu couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine at those words. “Yes,” he repeated, scooting back and leaning into Ushiwaka’s arms as he lifted a leg over his lover’s lap, wrapping his legs loosely around the man’s thick torso before leaning against his chest. 

“So perfect for me,” Ushiwaka breathed out, one hand slipping lower to grope at Shirabu’s ass. The other sliding between them, wrapping around the thick cock that jutted out of the bed of dark curls that Shirabu loved so much. 

Shirabu couldn’t tear his eyes away. It was fascinating to watch Ushiwaka jack off, press his cock forward to rub the head against Shirabu’s belly. He felt thick fingers press against the ring of his ass. It wasn’t really to stretch him open or arouse him, though, it was just Ushiwaka touching what was his. He doubted there was even a thought behind it. 

He thought about talking dirty. Maybe saying something like what Ushiwaka had told him, though he shied away from the thought and the pang it gave to his heart. It was easier just to watch and wait, letting himself be used, listening to the soft grunts that emanated from the man he was wrapped around.

“Ken,” Ushiwaka murmured. “My Kenjirou. Perfect, lovely, soft, tight -”

Wetness splashed between them and Shirabu licked his lips, tasting the cum that had splashed up there. It was good. Best taste. That reminded him of what Goshiki had said earlier and he had to smile. Leaning back he felt Ushiwaka’s hands slide around and up to hold his lower back, letting him arch so that Ushiwaka could see every inch of the skin that was now painted with his cum.

“Mmm,” Ushiwaka murmured, eyes lidded with the aftermath of his pleasure. They were dark, possessive, and Shirabu knew that if he wasn’t sick he would’ve been in for a very long night. 

He really hated being sick. 

Something in his face made Ushiwaka’s gaze change, desire replaced by soft concern. “Dizzy again?”

Shirabu let a wan smile cross his face, and he nodded. “A little bit.”

Ushiwaka was solemn as he nodded. “Thank you, my love,” he murmured, pulling Shirabu close and kissing his nose. “Let’s get you washed up and put to bed then, alright?”

“Yes,” Shirabu murmured.

He really was the luckiest man in the world.

He didn’t deserve it at all.


	4. Cherry Tart

Shirabu grumbled as he leaned back against the bar.

“You’re always so bitchy when you get over being sick,” Kawanishi said, sipping at the chocolate soda he’d persuaded Semi to make for him.

“It just feels wrong to take the night off,” Shirabu said, ignoring him. “What does he want with me anyways?”

He heard Semi huffing a laugh from the other end of the bar, and lazily flipped him off. 

“Didn’t he say he just found a new restaurant he thought you’d like?” Reon asked.

“That’s what he said,” Shirabu replied, not bothering to look at the man on the other side of Kawanishi. “But this is Tendou we’re talking about. He and Ushiwaka were talking, and said it would be _good_ for me, whatever that means.”

“Fuck,” Kawanishi said, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. “Look, you know you’re going to do it whether you like it or not. You know you won’t figure out whatever it is because Tendou is a sneaky bitch when he wants to be.”

“Language, Kawanishi,” Reon murmured, eyes glued to the other man’s throat.

“Whatever. You finished the bookkeeping in record time this afternoon, and you’re making me work all week since Semi’s taking my Friday night, so can you at least not whine while I’m enjoying my chocolate soda?”

Shirabu stared at him, shaking his head as Reon started to chuckle. 

Unfortunately, Shirabu couldn’t really get onto him. Not when Kawanishi had covered for him the night before and had reluctantly agreed to take Semi’s shift. Huffing, he watched as the front door opened and the evening kitchen staff started to trickle in. Goshiki was talking to one of the dishwashers. 

“Hello Goshiki,” Reon said.

“Oh hey Reon - ah, Shirabu-san,” Goshiki said, eyes widening as they landed on Shirabu. 

Kawanishi snorted and took a sip. “What am I, chopped liver?” he murmured.

“Glad you’re feeling better, Shirabu-san,” said Goshiki, cheeks red as he rushed into the kitchen.

Shirabu stared after him, confused. “What the hell?”

Laughing, Kawanishi said, “I think he has an Oedipus complex.”

“A what?” Shirabu asked.

“Tai,” Reon chided, sitting up and shaking his head.

Shirabu still didn’t understand. Evidently, the other three did, though, because Semi’s shoulders were moving in silent laughter and Kawanishi looked far too pleased with himself. Reon just looked embarrassed, so he decided to focus in on him. “Explain,” he said.

“It’s a Greek myth,” Reon finally said. “About this kid who’s prophesied to kill his father, so they send him away or try to kill him or something.”

Making a face, Shirabu said, “And what does that have to do with Goshiki?”

“He comes back, kills his father, and marries his mother,” Semi said, coming back down the bar to them. “Granted, he doesn’t know it’s his mother. It’s a huge tragedy, Oedipus Rex. It’s also in use as a psychological term -”

“Semi,” Reon said, voice a bit strangled.

“For a man who’s attracted to his mother.”

If anything, that made Kawanishi look even more smug.

It took Shirabu a moment to process the insult. When he got it he just glared at the unrepentant man, considering exactly what he wanted to say and discarding most of the options because Kawanishi was doing him some huge favors and it was impolite to repay them with rudeness. So finally he just said, “If anything, Ushiwaka is the mom around here.”

Semi chuckled and said, “Well...”

“No no!” Reon said. “Ushiwaka is the father he wants to replace.”

“Sure that’s not you, Reon?” Kawanishi said, poking his friend in the arm. “I’m pretty sure Ushiwaka’s the daddy he wants to -”

“Guys!” Shirabu squeaked.

“Shirabu! Are you ready for me?”

It might have been the first time in his life Shirabu was actually glad to see Tendou.

“Yes,” he replied, hopping down off the stool. “Let’s go.”

“Ah, first - Semisemi, kiss!”

“Not now, fool, I’m working,” Semi groused, backing away from the bar and eyeing his boyfriend warily.

Chuckling, Shirabu reached up and tugged at Tendou’s arm. “Come on, now, you’re the one who wanted to take me out, don’t be flirting with other men in the process. It’s not gentlemanly.”

Tendou gaped at him. “But Shirabu! Well, ok. Just be gentle with me. It’s my first time.”

Semi made an uncharacteristically inelegant noise and said, “First time what, being a gentleman?”

“Semi!” Tendou gasped.

“Have fun on your date, Satori,” Semi replied, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Tell Akaashi hello for me.”

“Bye!”

Shirabu looked up at Tendou as the left the restaurant. “Akaashi?” he asked, curious.

“Just wait,” Tendou replied. “You’ll see.”

~~~~~~

Shirabu balked when they got to their destination. “No,” he said.

“Aww but Shirabu,” Tendou said, pouting.

“Tooru’s Sweet Shop? Really? You’re taking me here? It even has a huge picture of his face on the sign! Can you get any tackier than that?”

“I thought you two made up.”

“Ugh, we - did. Kinda,” Shirabu said. “I mean, we didn’t really talk about anything, and he was drunk, but..”

“Well then, come on! I promise he won’t even be there. We’re just meeting a couple of friends, is all.”

“Akaashi? Who else?”

“You’ll see, just - come on.”

Shirabu sighed, following him inside the teal and white monstrosity of a cafe. Even the visors the workers wore were teal. Really, Oikawa took school spirit to a whole new level. He sighed, examining the long glass cases filled with deserts, secure in the knowledge that whatever Goshiki made would be ten times better than anything he could get here. Still, he supposed he could deal.

Tendou, of course, went for the chocolate. Chocolate milkshake, chocolate cake. 

“I’ll have, uh - the lychee boba,” Shirabu said. “And - what is that, a cherry tart? One of those as well.” 

“Right away, sir!” 

Looking around as Tendou paid, Shirabu caught sight of Akaashi sitting in a booth off to the side. “Ah,” he said. “Kenma-san.”

“Exactly! See, you should trust me, Shirabu.” Tendou said.

It didn’t ease Shirabu’s suspicions at all, of course, but at least Kenma seemed nice. They went over to the booth and sat down, saying hello. Kenma was playing some sort of handheld video game and had a tea and two slices of apple pie sitting in front of him, one half-eaten. He glanced up and nodded a greeting then went right back to playing.

“It’s so good to see you,” Tendou said, beaming at Akaashi.

“You as well, Tendou-san,” Akaashi replied. There was a look of fondness in his eyes. “How is Semi-san doing?”

“Great! He said to tell you hello. You guys are going out this Friday? Are you going shopping?”

Akaashi chuckled, smile turning wicked. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes,” Tendou declared. “Yes, I would. It’s so unfair I have to work a game early that evening.”

“Perhaps you can join us later, Tendou-san. I’m sure Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Oh? Will you be there too, little Bokuto-san?”

Kenma made a face at him. “Kenma, please, Tendou.”

“Only if you call me Satori!”

“Fine,” Kenma said, looking back at his game.

Turning to Shirabu, Tendou said, “He says that every time, but he keeps calling me Tendou.”

Kenma’s lips quirked at that, but he kept playing. Shirabu wondered if this was a usual thing for them - Tendou and Semi hanging out with Akaashi and his friends. Boyfriends. The gold on Kenma’s hand flashed in the light, but when Akaashi looked at Kenma, he could see the affection there.

It still felt so new to him. 

He found himself wondering if Kenma would join them. What Semi and Akaashi went shopping for. It was like a whole other world existed right outside his own, with interesting people, and he’d never known.

“Hey, Akaashi,” Tendou said as their food was delivered to the table, “Did you bring those uh, those things from the office?”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, then glanced at Shirabu. “Ah. Yes. The things. I believe they’re out in the car.”

“Awesome! Can we go get them?”

Shirabu found his suspicions coming back full force as Akaashi pondered a moment before shrugging and turning to pat Kenma on his shoulder. Kenma just shrugged. 

“Of course, Tendou-san,” Akaashi said, standing up from the booth.

“We’ll be back in a little while, ok Shirabu? You two have fun!” Tendou said, following suit.

It was so transparent it was laughable. “Fine,” he said, words clipped because of his sudden annoyance. He looked over at Kenma and caught a slight wince, immediately feeling bad. It wasn’t that he was upset to be left alone with Kenma. The man seemed nice. It was just - it all felt so manipulative.

Sighing, he pulled his boba closer and speared the lid with the straw, annoyed that he was about to be wrapping his lips around the Seijou team colors.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Kenma said suddenly, not looking up from his game. “I don’t really feel like it’s my place to intrude. Tendou just said you were having a difficult time.”

“Tendou talks too much,” Shirabu said, frowning as he stared down at his cherry tart, suddenly not hungry at all.

“I don’t,” Kenma said, pausing his game and looking to the side. “Ah, I mean.”

Shirabu studied the other man, noting the way his fingers tightened on the game, the light color dusting his cheeks. For some reason Kenma’s nervousness made him feel more relaxed. “No, it’s ok,” he said. “I get what you mean.”

Kenma let out a breath and nodded, glancing from his game to the apple pie in front of him and then at Shirabu’s food. He put the game down with seeming reluctance, picking up his fork and taking a bite of pie.

“It’s just strange, talking to a stranger,” Shirabu continued. “I mean, you’re not really a stranger - we might’ve even played you at nationals if Karasuno hadn’t gotten in our way - but still.”

Nodding, Kenma said, “I’m not in the habit of talking about my personal life with others either,” he said, taking another bite. “And you and Oikawa...”

“You’re friends?” Shirabu asked, finally taking a bite of his tart while feeling way out of his depth.

“Good friends,” Kenma agreed. “Shouyou is my best friend.”

“Shouyou? Ah, you mean the shrimp,” Shirabu said, worried as soon as the words left his mouth that he might have come across as offensive.

Kenma’s lips quirked up in a smile, however. “Yes,” he said. “Shouyou mentioned that you and Oikawa, at my birthday party - well. Thank you for taking care of him.”

“I didn’t really do much,” Shirabu said, guilt coiling in his chest again as he thought of the glamorous man. 

“Still,” Kenma said, putting down his fork with a shrug. “Did you have questions?”

Shirabu frowned, taking a sip of boba and chewing the soft gummy balls carefully as he thought. He had a million questions. He hadn’t actually expected to get to ask any of them, however, so it took him a minute to formulate them in his mind. “Ah, yeah,” he finally said, frowning. “You’re all four together, right? That’s what they said. Even though you’re married to Bokuto-san?”

“Yes,” Kenma said, rubbing the gold ring on his finger and smiling. “It’s - well. This is one thing, but ah, here.” Kenma glanced around at the deserted cafe before tugging at the neck of his shirt, exposing a small tattoo on his shoulder. It was four interlocking rings, gold, red, green and black. “This is for the four of us.”

“Wow,” Shirabu said, suddenly wishing he had a tattoo like that. Something to mark him as Ushiwaka’s more permanently than bruises and hickeys. “How did you - ah - if you don’t mind...”

“How did we what?” Kenma asked, golden eyes peering at him.

Shirabu flushed, trying not to think about the reasons he was asking the question. “Ah, how did you get together?”

“Hmm,” Kenma said, tilting his head to the side. “It’s - well, unique I guess. Kuroo and I were best friends since childhood, on the same team in high school - as you know. And I was in love with him then, but never acted on it. Instead, I started dating Akaashi in our senior years. Bokuto had always adored him, but Akaashi always held himself back - it was easier with us, I think. Less pressure. Bokuto and Kuroo are both just so...”

“Loud?” Shirabu asked, lips quirking as he involuntarily thought of Goshiki.

Kenma smiled. “Yes. And even in high school, they were always all over each other. I assumed Kuroo was dating him, that he’d finally found someone he was compatible with. And Akaashi and I, well. We were more than compatible. But then my father came in one night when Akaashi was over, and. Ah, things didn’t go well.”

Shirabu felt a pang of sympathy. His parents had found out he was gay after he’d gone to university and was almost graduated. ‘Didn’t go well’ didn’t even begin to cut it when it came to their reaction. He couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was still in high school.

“They, ah. They kicked me out. Kuroo offered to let me stay with him, but he was too far away, and his parents - well. They’re friends with mine. It was too awkward. Akaashi had to deal with his own parents. They were more understanding, but still. Bokuto’s mom, though -”

The smile on Kenma’s face as he looked to the side was almost blinding, and Shirabu could see what Akaashi and the rest found so alluring in the quiet man.

“Bokuto’s mom came down that same night. I’d been sitting in a cafe, not knowing what I was going to do. But evidently Kuroo called Bokuto, and Bokuto called his family, and, well. She drove me back to my house and got right in my dad’s face. Watched as I went up and packed my things. I didn’t get everything, of course, but without her, I would have had nothing, and my mom sent on most of the rest later. Then she took me back to the house where Bo’s dad had set up a room for me, and his little sisters had dinner waiting - it was incredible. They said that it wasn’t a big deal to have one more mouth to feed and that I should feel like part of the family. I had to get up a little earlier for the train, but I was even able to finish up school.”

“Wow,” Shirabu said. “So is that why?”

“Yes,” Kenma replied, rubbing the ring. “They are my family. They ended up adopting me into their registry and everything.”

“That’s incredible.”

The smile was back on Kenma’s face. “Yeah. And then I ended up falling in love with Bokuto on breaks and living with him and Kuroo when I went off to University. That was awkward, but Kuroo ended up finally confessing one night when we were all drunk. Akaashi took the longest - we kept it secret, you know, because he was dating Tendou and Bokuto was terrified of what he’d think. He was furious when he found out, too. But it was, well. There was always something missing, without Akaashi.”

“Huh.”

Kenma shrugged. “So that’s my story.”

Shirabu nodded, thinking it over. Kenma watched him for a moment, eating a few more bites of apple pie, the silence stretching on until it was slightly uncomfortable. “I’ve been with Ushiwaka forever,” he finally blurted out. “Loved him, since - well. Is it sad to say I probably fell in love with him at first sight, when I was in junior high? Not that we started dating then, of course. Um. But I changed everything about my setting because I knew he was the one I wanted to set to. He was the one I wanted to be with.”

“Ah,” Kenma said.

“I - uh - I confessed a few days after he graduated when he came in to help me practice one afternoon. It was - ah - intense. But then he went away to university and ended up going to the same one as Oikawa. I followed, of course, but I was never a regular and then I hurt my arm -”

Kenma just nodded. 

Shirabu searched his face for signs of judgment but didn’t see a thing. “Do you ever get jealous?” he blurted out, pulling back almost as soon as he’d said the words. “That’s a stupid thing to ask, I know.”

“I don’t,” Kenma replied, shrugging. “I know where I stand with all of them, and I know their affection won’t change. Kuroo does sometimes, though.”

“Kuroo? But he’s so -”

“Hot?” Kenma supplied, a smug grin on his face. “I know. Believe me, I know. But, well. He’s always been that way, though I didn’t see it. Didn’t confess to me in high school because he was worried he’d be pushing himself on me. Still has moments where he feels like we don’t need him. But I just reassure him and remind him how much he’s loved, and it’s alright.”

“Does it ever get, uh. Ah. Does it ever get annoying?” Shirabu asked, curling his arms around himself.

Kenma studied him, pursing his lips before saying, “Sometimes.” He paused then, tapping his fork on the plate. “But then Bokuto smothers him, or Akaashi takes him out ballroom dancing, or we all three - well. I don’t know that I could handle it on my own, but with all four of us, it works. And really, we all have our own thing. I get anxious, Bo has mood swings, Akaashi has these weird preoccupations sometimes - none of us are perfect. But I think that’s probably why it works. We all need each other.”

Ah.

So it was different than him and Ushiwaka, that way.

“I’m happy for you all,” Shirabu said, forcing a smile on his lips. 

He didn’t miss the flash of concern in Kenma’s eyes, but then Tendou was coming up to the table again, saying, “Hey! We’re back, are we interrupting anything?”

Kenma huffed. “Learn how to read a room, Satori,” he murmured.

Tendou gasped, worry flashing in his eyes as he looked at Shirabu.

“It’s fine,” Shirabu said. “Thank you for talking to me, Kenma-san.”

“Just Kenma is fine,” he replied. “And here - if you want to talk more, here’s my address.”

“Thank you,” Shirabu said, exchanging a quick message with the other man to make sure they had the correct contact info. He liked Kenma. Found Akaashi surprisingly likable too, when he and Tendou both sat down. Tendou carried most of the conversation, and Akaashi was almost as perfect a foil as Semi. Kenma occasional smiled as he listened in and played his game.

It was nice.

~~~~~~~

Shirabu’s mood was better when Tendou dropped him off in front of the restaurant. He liked watching Akaashi and Kenma together. They’d gone out to a movie after the cafe, Bokuto joining them and sitting between Akaashi and Kenma, laughing far too loudly at all the stupid jokes. Then they’d gone out to a dinner after the show, chowing down on greasy American cheeseburgers and cola and fries. Bokuto and Tendou were terrifying together. Shirabu was almost surprised they didn’t get kicked out. He’d laughed so hard, though, almost snorting coke through his nose when Bokuto got down on his knees and begged Akaashi to let him open up an owl cafe after Tendou suggested it.

“For the millionth time, no, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi had said, and Kenma had laughed.

It was precious and wonderful, and Shirabu was happy to have been included, even if it was just for an evening.

He and Kenma had texted back and forth all night, too. Mainly snarky comments about the others, of course. Nothing too heavy. But the blond had still managed to slip some advice in, and Shirabu was thankful.

The best suggestion was to make sure they all communicated before doing anything.

Shirabu appreciated that. He knew from experience the importance of communication, remembered how thoroughly he and Ushiwaka had discussed all the aspects of BDSM before really getting involved, how they’d made lists and done research and always made sure the details were clear before any major scene. 

He could communicate. 

He’d just sit down with Ushiwaka and talk about his feelings. That wasn’t ever fun, especially when he always felt the tug to feel whatever Ushiwaka wanted him to feel, but he did know his own mind. He did like Goshiki. He did like the idea of the three of them together. They’d talk about it, and then the two of them could sit down and talk with Goshiki and introduce ideas to him gently - even though Goshiki seemed to like both of them, there was no telling if he would like to play like they did, of course. But that would be fine. 

Goshiki was loud, and brash, and annoying - but, Shirabu thought as he pushed open the restaurant’s front door, he was also adorable. And handsome, in a way quite different from Ushiwaka. 

It would be fine.

There was a light on in the kitchen, and Shirabu frowned. Huffing he walked to the back, wondering who he’d need to get onto about leaving the lights on. Frowning he pushed open the door and gasped.

The kitchen wasn’t empty.

Ushiwaka was there. He had Goshiki pinned back against one of the counters, hand on his hip, thumb up under his uniform shirt. He was whispering something in Goshiki’s ear that had the younger man blushing bright red and biting his lip.

Goshiki’s eyes flew open and he stared straight at Shirabu. “Shirabu-san!” he called out, looking shocked.

Ushiwaka lifted his head and turned around, a predatory smile on his face as he looked at Shirabu. “Welcome home,” he said.

Shirabu froze, a million thoughts curling in his mind, stomach churning.

It was not fine.

It was so not fine.

Turning, he fled.

He heard a muffled, “Shit,” from Ushiwaka and a plaintive “Shirabu-san?” from Goshiki that made guilt join in all the thoughts pounding his brain, but he couldn’t handle it. 

He slammed the front door behind him, not bothering to lock it, and rushed down the street, trying to catch his breath.

It wasn’t fine at all.


	5. Strawberry Daiquiri

In the end, his feet took him to the same place they always took him when his heart was feeling this confused. Yamagata hadn’t changed his locks since they were in university. Shirabu always kept a key, just in case. More than once he’d had to go rescue Yamagata’s cat when her owner got unexpectedly called out of town. That hadn’t happened since Reon moved in, but it was handy. It was comfortable. Now, Shirabu was grateful.

He trudged up the steps to the apartment and unlocked the door, trying to be quiet as he took his shoes off in the entryway. He could hear a movie playing on the television in the living room. Really, he didn’t want to talk to anyone.   
He decided to just get a glass of water from the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the lights. He was filling a glass of water when he heard someone shuffle into the room behind him. “Hey Yama,” said a voice that Shirabu didn’t expect, “we thought you were working late tonight, sorry. If you don’t want to see a naked Reon -”

Shirabu turned, gaping at an equally shocked - and half-naked - Kawanishi with his hand on the light switch. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same thing!” Kawanishi yelled, turning redder than Shirabu had ever seen him. It didn’t disguise the bruises on his hips or the -

Shirabu turned, suddenly distracted from his own drama by the thought that the friends everyone thought should get together might actually be together. Closely together, if the marks on Kawanishi’s inner thighs were anything to go by.

“Fuck,” Kawanishi said. “Uh, can you just pretend you didn’t see me like this?”

Shirabu laughed, knowing it was a dry and ugly thing. “Is it saying something that you aren’t the worst thing I want to unsee from tonight?” he asked.

“What, was Tendou that bad?” Kawanishi joked.

Shirabu was silent. He knew he should joke back. Say something. Kawanishi didn’t want to know about his problems, his stupid stupid...

“Ken?” Kawanishi said, stepping close and putting a hand lightly on his back.

“Tai? Everything o - Shirabu?” Reon called from the doorway.

Shirabu gripped the glass of water tighter. “Sure,” he said, nodding his head. He turned, barely giving Reon a glance, just thankful the man had a blanket wrapped around his waist. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. I’ll just go into Yamagata’s room or something, you can go back to your movie.”

“Netflix,” Reon said.

“Get it right, Reon, it’s Netflix and chill,” Kawanishi said. It didn’t have the bite of his normal comments, though.

Shirabu gave them another look, thinking that Semi would be shocked. He should be shocked as well, but the initial surprise had passed and he really didn’t care. So Reon and Kawanishi were hooking up behind everybody’s backs - well, everyone but Yamagata’s back. So what.

Reon frowned. “I’m going to go get dressed,” he said. “Taichi, take him into the living room.”

“Guys, I’m fine,” Shirabu protested, feeling Kawanishi tug him forward. He didn’t really resist, just held onto his glass of water. 

“You aren’t,” Kawanishi said. “You’re far too quiet - and you look like shit. What’s wrong?”

Shirabu fell back into the chair Kawanishi had herded him too, pulling his legs up into the seat. “It’s nothing,” he said. It wasn’t important. He wasn’t important.

“Your phone’s ringing.”

Pulling it out of his pocket he checked the screen and declined the call, noting the three missed calls and ten text messages from Ushiwaka. Sighing he turned the phone off, laying it down on the end table next to him. “It doesn’t matter,” Shirabu said.

Reon came back in the room and exchanged looks with Kawanishi.

“I’m going to go get dressed too,” Kawanishi said, grabbing up jeans and a t-shirt from the floor.

“Good,” Shirabu murmured. “Never knew you were that intimate with Spongebob Squarepants.”

Kawanishi gaped at him then snorted. “Why, there you are. I was worried for a second.”

Shirabu shrugged, nursing his glass of water and looking at the screen, trying to make out what they’d been watching. “Voltron?” he asked. “You guys were getting it on to Voltron?”

Reon shrugged, sitting down on the couch. “What can I say, Taichi has a thing for Hunk.”

There was no way Shirabu wouldn’t laugh at that, even if his world was falling apart. It wasn’t though. That thought was way too overdramatic.

Ushiwaka had just been talking to Goshiki.

Talking with his hand under his shirt. 

Talking with their groins pressed together.

Talking with his tongue practically down his ear, probably saying things in the voice that was Shirabu’s to hear, saying things that made Goshiki turn an appealing shade of red, things that were probably -

He took in a shuddering breath, hating the confusion in his head. This was stupid. He’d been thinking of the three of them together right before he’d seen them. He’d gotten off the night before thinking about Goshiki in a far more questionable position than what Ushiwaka had put him in earlier.

But that had just been fantasy.

This had been real.

And they’d looked like they were perfectly fine without him, anyways.

Sighing, Shirabu motioned at the television. “Can we just watch something?” he asked. 

“Sure, Shirabu. Sure,” Reon said, and Shirabu pretended not to hear the worry in his voice.

He also pretended not to hear the muffled sound of Kawanishi’s phone call in the next room. “...home soon? .. Yeah, it’s fine, just... won’t say... probably... idiot...”

Shirabu relaxed a bit when he realized it was most likely Yamagata on the other end of the line. Yamagata, he could handle.

He was stuck between wanting Ushiwaka to come get him and wanting him to leave him alone. He hadn’t come after him. The reasonable part of him said that he was probably taking care of Goshiki because Goshiki had sounded far too upset when he left. That made him feel guilty. He wasn’t mad at Goshiki. Didn’t know what Ushikawa had said to him, but Shirabu trusted that of anyone, Goshiki was the most innocent party here.

He couldn’t find it in him to be mad at him.

Ushiwaka -

Thinking of him just brought up a mass of hurt and anger, emotions Shirabu didn’t even have words for. Ushiwaka probably didn’t deserve all of them. Sadness and guilt and self-loathing were trying to climb in their too, bad enough that Shirabu didn’t want to feel anything.

He just wanted to sleep.

Kawanishi came back in the room and sat down on the couch next to Reon, snuggling up and looking over at Shirabu with concern. Shirabu ignored both of them, trying to focus on the storyline of whatever show Reon had put on, some classic adventure movie set in Australia of all places.

He’d almost succeeded in losing himself when he heard the front door open. Sucking in a breath he turned to look, meeting Yamagata’s eyes. 

Yamagata made a face. “What happened this time?”

Shirabu shrugged.

Sighing, Yamagata said, “Give me a minute. Where’s Mikoto? Kawanishi, did you lock her in my room again?”

“Mikoto-kun is too innocent to see what we were doing, Yama,” Kawanishi shot back.

“No, that’s just the rest of us. Mikoto’s had two litters of kittens. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing innocent about her,” Yamagata said, opening his bedroom door. A silver form shot into the living room, zeroing in on Shirabu and jumping up into his lap.

Shirabu smiled, threading fingers through the tabby’s short hair. Purring, Mikoto looked up at him with wide green eyes and started to knead his pants. 

“She always likes you best,” Kawanishi muttered. 

“Because I’m cutest,” Shirabu said, not even thinking about the words as he stroked the cat under her chin.

“Only to Ushiwaka, right Reon?” Kawanishi asked, and the semblance of peace Shirabu had built up came crashing down around his head.

He swallowed. Because he wasn’t the cutest. Not anymore.

He wanted to hug Mikoto to his chest. He wanted to cry, wanted to yell at himself for being stupid, wanted to not feel at all. Every breath hurt.

The other two had gone strangely silent and he didn’t want to look up at them. Didn’t want to see shock or pity in their eyes.

“Here,” Yamagata said, shoving a glass in his face. It was pink and frosted and smelled like strawberries and alcohol. “Have your stupid froufrou drink and chocolate cherry ice cream.”

Shirabu managed a wan smile, taking the daiquiri from Yamagata’s hand and watching as he set the bowl down on the table next to him. “You remembered.”

“Of course,” Yamagata said, voice gruff. “You kept my freezer basically stuffed full of it in university. I kept thinking about getting a second fridge and making you pay for it.”

Shirabu smiled, taking a drink of the strawberry concoction. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” Yamagata said. He didn’t press the issue, just sat down on the end of the couch closest to Shirabu and watched the movie. 

Shirabu drank his daiquiri, ate his ice cream, and pet Mikoto. It was easy. He didn’t have to think. Didn’t have to feel. The drink was strong enough that he felt the alcohol swimming in his veins, making him feel languid and lazy.

At some point, he dropped off to sleep.

When he woke up someone had carried him into one of the bedrooms. Yamagata’s. He recognized the stupid neon clock.

He heard Yamagata’s voice in the hallway. “Yes, he’s here. He’s fine,” Yamagata said. “No, you can’t come over. What the hell happened? I don’t care, I know it’s your business, but he’s a damn adult and if he doesn’t want to talk to you he doesn’t have to. Don’t take that tone of voice with me, you aren’t my captain anymore.”

Shirabu cringed, pulling a pillow to his chest as tears seeped down his face. It was all his fault. It was stupid, and he was an adult, he shouldn’t run away from his problems, shouldn’t run away from Ushiwaka. Shouldn’t be the cause of Yamagata and Ushiwaka fighting.

Sighing, Yamagata said, “Look. I get you won’t tell me what happened, but I mean. Just chill and figure it out, ok? You know him. I’m sure he’ll probably go into work and you can talk to him then. Yeah. You too.”

Curling further around the pillow Shirabu listened as Yamagata came into the room, leaning over him and brushing the hair back from his face.

“You’re awake,” Yamagata said. “Did you hear that? What am I saying? Of course, you did. Waking up at the most damned inconvenient times.”

Shirabu just shrugged. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Shirabu said. “Not now. Just want to sleep.”

“Whatever you need,” Yamagata said, and Shirabu managed a smile. 

“Thank you,” he murmured, sniffling softly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yamagata said. “Get some rest. You care if I sleep in here, or want me to take the couch?”

“Here is fine,” Shirabu said. “Not like you’re gonna molest me.”

“Nah, snot nosed brats don’t really do it for me. You got a nice ass, but I find your lack of boobs disturbing.”

Shirabu did really smile at that, exhaling a shaky breath as he felt Yamagata crawl into bed behind him. It didn’t take long for Mikoto to jump up between them, and Yamagata was out like a light two breaths after that.

Four breaths after that, Shirabu followed them into dreams.

~~~~~~

He woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and fried eggs.

“Give me your clothes,” Yamagata said as he backed into the room, tray in hand. “I wasn’t going to make Reon undress you last night. He felt bad enough about carrying you in here.”

Shirabu had to smile at that, watching as his friend set the tray down on the bedside table. He stripped, handing Yamagata the clothes. 

Yamagata just grunted, grabbing an armful out of his dirty clothes basket and hefting them up before he walked to the door. “Eat your breakfast and then we’re going to talk. Kawanishi said he could take your shift at lunch if you need him to,” he said, leaving before Shirabu could respond.

Huffing, Shirabu sat back against the headboard and stared at the food. He still had his collar on. Lifting his hand he brushed fingertips over the soft velvet, the hurt blossoming in his chest again. He barely even tasted his breakfast as he ate it. 

He thought he should check his phone.

It was probably still in the living room.

He sighed, pushing the tray to the side, not happy that he was letting nakedness keep him from taking care of his responsibilities. He knew he couldn’t let Kawanishi take his lunch shift. He’d done enough running away from his problems last night, and just because his friends would indulge him that didn’t mean he needed to take advantage of it. He wasn’t a kid anymore.

“Good, you’re done,” Yamagata said, coming back into the room and sitting in the chair next to the window. “Talk.”

Shirabu made a face, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. “Have you ever had a threesome?” he asked.

Yamagata stared at him. “Sure, with the twins from Love Kitten Circus,” he said, naming his favorite idol group, “at least in my dreams. No, I haven’t had a threesome. Why? Please tell me this isn’t because you and Waka decided to get kinky and some dudes dick ended up punching your belly button.”

Making a face, Shirabu said, “Do you even understand how gay sex works?”

“My roommate is secretly getting it on with his best friend. In our living room. On a regular basis. I’ve seen some things I can never scrub from my mind.”

“I can only imagine,” Shirabu said, feeling momentarily dumbfounded at the idea of Kawanishi and Reon actually being together.

“Please tell me you did not walk in on them in the middle of sex and that was one reason you were so shell-shocked last night.”

Shirabu held back a laugh. “No, I didn’t,” he said, “though I almost saw Reon naked.”

“Dude. We were in club together. You’ve seen Reon naked a thousand times.”

“Not like I ever looked.”

“Really? I thought you had a thing for big beefsteak guys.”

Chuckling, Shirabu tried to quiet the pang in his heart, trying to drive away the image of Ushiwaka’s naked back in the shower, water dripping down his muscles to that perfect ass.

Yamagata sighed. “So, what?”

Shirabu sucked in a breath, trying to figure out what to tell him. “We’ve been dancing around the idea of adding a third person to our relationship.”

“What? You? Wait - is this just some shit Waka’s trying to push on you?”

“No,” Shirabu replied. “Well, I mean, there has been some pushing, I guess. Kind of. More like, it feels like he’s been sitting on the idea for a while and was just waiting for me to take interest? Ugh, I don’t know. It’s not like it’s a one-sided thing, though.”

Frowning, Yamagata watched him. “Are you sure?”

The thing was, he wasn’t sure. Not entirely. Sighing, he replied, “To be honest, I’m still trying to figure it out. It’s a crazy idea, you know? I love him.” That hurt. “I’ve always loved him. He’s my whole world - yeah, I know, probably more than is healthy. The idea of wanting something more than that, needing someone else, well. It’s weird.”

“No judgment here, you know,” Yamagata murmured. “I just want you to be happy.”

Warmth blossomed in Shirabu’s chest, and he smiled. “Thanks.”

“That’s all any of us want.”

It was true, he knew that. Beyond all the worries, and anxieties, and self-flagellation, he knew his friends loved him. 

“I do like the kid, though,” Shirabu said. “He’s loud and obnoxious, and sometimes I want to slam him up against the wall or yell at him until he’s shaking in his boots - but he’s also kind, and generous. Probably the type to give his lunch to kittens. Makes soup for his nieces when they’re sick. Likes science fiction. Regular boy scout.”

“Beefcake?”

“Actually, no, not really, though he seems to be in good shape. Only a little taller than me, though, and slender.”

“Terrifying,” Yamagata said. “So what’s the problem?”

Pausing, Shirabu looked down at his hands. He closed his eyes and reasoned it was best just to pull the band-aid off quickly. “Last night when I came home I caught them together.”

“Fucking?” Yamagata yelled. “What the fuck! I’m going to kill him. I’m seriously going to kill him.”

“No! Not... fucking, just....”

“Together,” said Yamagata.

Shirabu nodded.

“Without you.”

He nodded again, and said, “To be fair, I think... they were probably waiting for me?”

“Still, though,” Yamagata said. “You said you were dancing around the idea... you hadn’t talked about it?”

Shirabu laughed dryly. “Not exactly no,” he said, sighing. “He probably thought I’d be fine with it...”

“No. Just - fuck no. Ok first off, he does not get to pull that shit with you, I don’t care how fucking famous or important he is. Second off, you are not going to fucking sit there and blame yourself because your boyfriend pulled some sort of dick move. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love him but - really? Seriously?”

Shrugging, Shirabu twisted his fingers together. 

“I thought he was doing better, but if he’s pulling this bullshit again -”

“It’s not like he’s cheating on me,” Shirabu said. “Not like he cheated on me then, either.”

“Heh. Only because - eh, well, I guess that’s not really fair either,” Yamagata sighed. “But look. I get that he’s your boyfriend. I get that you love him, and I know he loves you, and all that - but he’s just too careless sometimes. Even if he thought you wouldn’t mind, he should’ve talked to you about it, and not pushed if you said you weren’t ready. That’s just basic, 101 relationship stuff. Even I know that, and the longest relationship I’ve ever had lasted only seven months.”

“You’re forgetting your fourteen-year-long relationship with your hand,” Shirabu muttered.

“If I had a pillow handy I would throw it at you,” Yamagata said. “And it’s sixteen, thank you very much. Get it right. I was an early bloomer.”

“Eww, I did not need to know that.”

“Come off it, you think about guys jacking off every day.”

“Yeah, but not you.”

“I’m hurt.”

Shirabu laughed, thankful for the distraction from his thoughts. He knew that on some level, what Yamagata said was right. But he also knew his friend was biased. Relationships weren’t always that simple.

His relationship wasn’t simple at all.

“I’m going to go in for lunch today,” he said, leaning back against the bed.

Sighing, Yamagata slumped down in the chair. “Are you sure you’re ready? If you want I can come in with you.”

“No, it’s fine,” Shirabu said. “Besides, you’ve got work.”

“I can always call in sick or something.”

Shirabu laughed. “No, it’s fine. Besides, what if the impossible happened and Hitoka-san finally gathered up her courage and came by to play nurse?”

Yamagata flushed. “She wouldn’t.”

“Never know. One of you has to make the first move,” Shirabu mused, wondering if he should get Yamagata a gift certificate to Tooru’s shop. It seemed like the type of place Hitoka would like.

“We aren’t talking about my love life -”

“Or lack thereof -”

“Today,” Yamagata said, pushing up and going over to his dresser. “Here. Put these on and come out and be sociable,” he said, tossing him a pair of sweats. “Reon and Kawanishi are freaking out. Come show the kids that mom hasn’t lost his mind.”

Shirabu picked up the sweats, scowling. “Mom?” he asked. “Kawanishi told you, didn’t he.”

“He may have mentioned something in passing,” Yamagata said, laughing as he left the room.

A tiny smile pulled at Shirabu’s lips as he tugged on the sweatpants. Stupid friends.

They really were great.

Sighing, he stood and pulled up the covers before picking up the tray and facing the door. Time to take baby steps to face the real world. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Things got hectic almost as soon as Shirabu walked in the door to the restaurant. 

“We got a call for a large party early this morning,” said the server who’d opened, looking more than a little harassed.

Shirabu frowned and made the callback to confirm, shifting people around as needed and making sure everything was in place. Ushiwaka ducked his head out of the kitchen a few times but Shirabu just ignored him, focusing on the job at hand. At least Goshiki wasn’t working this morning. It wasn’t his fault but Shirabu was pretty sure he didn’t want to have to deal with the man right now. Even just imagining the hurt look he’d probably have made Shirabu’s chest ache. He could only deal with so many adult responsibilities at once.

The servers were walking on eggshells around him, and the noises from the kitchen were louder than usual. 

Gritting his teeth, Shirabu ignored them. Ushiwaka could throw a temper tantrum all he wanted. They had a damn job to do, and fuck if he was going to let their personal problems get in the way of running a successful business. Not after they’d worked this fucking hard for it.

He pasted a smile on his face as he ushered the last customers out the door, and then checked the clock. Thirty minutes after their normal lunch closing time. Crazy, especially for a Wednesday. The servers looked exhausted. He was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and fall into bed for the next hour and a half, completely ignoring all of his problems. 

Unfortunately, that was not to be.

The door to the kitchen swung open and he heard familiar footsteps behind him.

“Shirabu,” Ushiwaka said.

Shirabu turned, giving him a flat look. “Yes, Ushijima-san?” he said, trying to ignore the flash of hurt in Ushiwaka’s eyes before his expression clamped down.

“Could you come upstairs with me?” Ushiwaka asked. “I’d like to discuss something with you.”

For a moment, Shirabu wanted to say no. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t want to talk. He was still too weak, too hurt, too afraid that he’d give in to whatever Ushiwaka said.

But he wasn’t a child. He was an adult, and no matter what games they played in the bedroom, he and Ushiwaka had to be equal partners in this relationship.

So he didn’t refuse. Instead, he just nodded, trying to ignore the way they were the center of attention for every employee currently in the main room of the restaurant.

“Of course,” Shirabu said. “Lead the way.”


	6. Lemon Mascarpone Torte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note - there's a moment in this which might come off as slightly noncon, if you get triggered by things like that. It's really more of a misunderstanding, but I just don't want you to run into it blind.

Ushiwaka slammed the door behind them when they entered the apartment.

“What the hell were you thinking, running out of here like that?” he yelled. “Do you know how upset Goshiki was? How upset I was? And then not answering your phone? Do you know how worried I was? You could’ve been dead in a ditch somewhere! What if you’d -”

Shirabu drowned him out, putting his hands on the back of the couch and cataloging all the small items that cluttered up their living room. Behind him, Ushiwaka continued to yell, and he automatically parsed each sentence for what it was. Fear. Hurt. Worry. Love. Normally he hated being yelled at, but years of dealing with angry coaches had helped him to develop a thick skin, even where his boyfriend was concerned. 

He was reminded, ironically enough, of the response Oikawa used to make whenever Iwaizumi got onto him: ‘You’re not my mom, Iwa-chan.’ It had been grating back then, but now he was almost tempted to use the same words. 

He resisted the temptation.

“...and after all the trouble we went to set up a surprise for you, too.”

Pursing his lips, Shirabu spoke. “Flowers are a surprise. Chocolates are a surprise. Tickets to the fucking Opera are a surprise. You with your hand down some other guys pants is not -”

“I didn’t have my hand down his pants!” 

“Five minutes more and you probably would have!” Shirabu yelled, turning to face him. 

“I -” Ushiwaka started, pain crossing his face. “He’s not just some guy. He’s Goshiki. You like him. I like him. I thought you wanted -”

“I don’t know what I want,” Shirabu said, and it was the truth. “I’m still trying to figure it out. But I know I didn’t want that. Not when we haven’t even talked about it, even just you and me - much less with him. Whatever I want, I know it’s not just about falling into bed, or whatever you do in a kitchen that has to stay up to health code.”

Ushiwaka blanched. “And so you just run out and leave us there?”

“You seemed to be doing perfectly fine on your own!”

“What the - why would you even think that?”

Shirabu didn’t answer, just tightened his jaw as Ushiwaka studied him.

“What do you think, that he’s some sort of replacement? That I’d rather be with him?” Ushiwaka asked.

It hurt because on some level it was true. Shirabu knew in his head that it wasn’t, but there was some part of him that still thought that way, even after all these years - thought that he was replaceable because Ushiwaka was the one who stood out. The one he’d always wanted to stand out, honestly. Shirabu knew he was important too, but he didn’t always feel it, and the longsuffering sigh Ushiwaka let out just made him flinch.

“I am so tired of these issues. I am so tired of trying to figure out ways to show you how special you are to me. Can’t you just accept it for once? I’ll show you, come here,” Ushiwaka said, starting toward him. “I’ll even get someone to cover for you tonight, let me -”

“Don’t touch me,” Shirabu said, pulling back.

“What?” Ushiwaka asked, blinking down at him before he sighed. “Ken -”

“I said stop. Do I have to fucking safeword out for you to know I’m serious? I”m not having sex with you right now.”

The hurt in Ushiwaka’s eyes made his stomach churn. Guilt flooded his system. It made him want to change his words, apologize, fall into his lover’s arms and let him do whatever he wanted. He didn’t though, and the anger that rose to replace the hurt as Ushiwaka stepped back made his silence easier.

“Fine,” Ushiwaka said, clamping down on his emotions.

“Fine,” Shirabu echoed. He looked away, feeling like one massive wound. “I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom for a few nights, I think.”

Ushiwaka stared at him, finally saying, “Well, I suppose it’s better than you sleeping at Yamagata’s. At least this way I know where you are.”

Shirabu just nodded.

“Do not yell at Goshiki over this,” Ushiwaka warned. “He really was upset last night. It took me an hour to calm him down after you walked out.”

That wasn’t his fault. Shirabu knew that. He grit his teeth anyways, hating the idea of Goshiki being hurt, hating the idea that he had anything to do with it. But it wasn’t his responsibility. He wasn’t the one who’d dragged the kid into this.

“I know better than that,” Shirabu said. “None of this crap is his fault.”

“Oh, so whose is it then? Mine? Am I the bad guy here?”

It hurt, and Shirabu hated knowing his words had done that. Hated the words that dripped out of his mouth. It felt like every one he spoke just tore them further and further apart, but he couldn’t stop speaking. “I”m not mad at him.”

“Just me.”

The tone was so bitter Shirabu could taste it on his tongue. It wasn’t true, of course. It wasn’t just Ushiwaka he was mad at. He was plenty mad at himself too, and Ushiwaka knew that - would know that - knew him well enough that he’d realize it once he calmed down a bit.

All of a sudden, Shirabu was really, really, tired of fighting.

“Look,” he said, “I’m going to go take a nap before we open for dinner. I’ll be downstairs at four.”

Ushiwaka looked at him, lips pursed in a tight frown. “Fine,” he finally said.

“Fine,” Shirabu echoed.

It was the furthest from fine that he’d felt in a long, long time.

~~~~~~~~~

Work that evening was tough. Shirabu wasn’t used to being the center of attention, but it seemed like everyone’s eyes were on him. Even some of the customers seemed to feel the tension. Goshiki was like a ghost, always finding something to do to absent himself whenever Shirabu came back to check on the kitchen. 

It made sense, but it also hurt.

He found a piece of cherry cheesecake on his desk when he checked his office late that evening. There was no note, but it felt like an apology, even though Goshiki had nothing to apologize for.

Shirabu ate it in silence. He wished that Goshiki would come in and annoy him with questions on how to improve it. Not that it needed improving. 

Goshiki never came.

Shirabu had wanted to say something to him when he came in lunch the next day, but the man rushed through the door and to the back without even saying hello. He tried to ignore it. It was easier to deal with than the ice growing between Ushijima and him. Ice filled with silence and terse messages communicated through go-betweens, the silent creak of floorboards in the night and strangely cool bedsheets in the morning. 

“This cold war between the two of you is going to get annoying,” Semi said that evening.

Shirabu was hanging out with him at the bar, watching the servers clean the last of the tables. “I’m sorry it is negatively affecting your work environment,” he said.

Semi huffed. “You’re always such a cheeky little shit,” he said. “I wish you’d grow out of it.”

Shrugging, Shirabu swallowed a mouthful of banana shake. Semi was right - it was better with chocolate and Kahlua, but he wasn’t in the mood to drink right now. 

“Someone left this for you, by the way,” Semi said.

“Oh?” Shirabu asked, looking over at the plate. Lemon mascarpone torte, with a few strawberries as decoration. It made his mouth water just looking at it. “He could’ve just brought it to me.”

The laugh Semi gave was less than polite. “He looks like a kicked puppy these days, mooning over you from afar when you aren’t looking, flinching every time you come near. What did you say to him?”

“Nothing,” Shirabu murmured, pulling the plate close. He pressed his thumb against the chilled porcelain, aching inside as he thought of how Goshiki was actively avoiding him. 

“Well, whatever. Between that and this thing going on with you and Ushiwaka - you going to tell me what happened?”

“Not planning on it,” Shirabu said. “You probably have all the details from Tendou anyhow.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his mouth, glancing up when Semi made an indelicate noise. 

“Tendou won’t tell me anything because Ushiwaka isn’t talking. Not to him, not to anybody, outside of what’s necessary for the kitchen. Even then it’s mainly grunts and grumbles. Such a bear.”

“Yes,” Shirabu said.

Semi watched him in silence a few moments, finally moving to give him a fork. The torte was just the right mixture of sour and sweet, with light spongy cake layers separated by creamy filling. It was very good. Possibly good enough to make it onto their regular menu.

“You can tell me, you know. If you need someone to talk to. I won’t tell Tendou if you don’t want me to.”

Shirabu looked up at that, licking some powdered sugar off his upper lip. He wanted to say something flippant, tell Semi he was fine. None of the words felt right. He looked down, filling his empty mouth with another bite of the torte.

Sighing, Semi said, “You’d think he wants to give you a belly, considering how many desserts he asks you to eat.”

“He doesn’t ask.” Technically, at least.

“Gives, then?”

Shirabu shrugged, dropping a hand to his stomach. He thought about laying back in bed on a lazy afternoon, pretending to read something while Goshiki rested against his thighs, pressing fingers into the softness that had developed there since he graduated from university. “Maybe I should start working out again,” he said suddenly. “I could go running in the morning.”

“Maybe you should just get a dog, I’m sure he’d help with your workout.”

“I’m not sure how sanitary it would be to keep a dog in the apartment,” Shirabu said, finishing the last bite of torte. “The health inspector might - eh?”

Semi’s lips were twitching in silent laughter.

Tilting his head to the side, Shirabu tried to figure out what was going on in the bartender’s head. Then he frowned, fighting back a flush and as well as images of Goshiki on his knees helping Shirabu burn off some energy. Maybe with Ushiwaka’s hands holding his arms back, whispering in Shirabu’s ear as he fought to hold onto his senses as long as he could.

That image morphed into one of Ushiwaka pressing down on Goshiki’s lower back with one hand, licking his lips as he opened the smaller man’s ass with long, thick fingers. They looked so good together in his mind.

They’d looked too good together, that night in the kitchen. So good it hurt. 

“It’s not that simple,” he murmured.

Prying the fork gently from his fingers, Semi pulled the plate toward him, cheekily eating the last strawberry himself. “Only,” he said, “because you’re making this so hard.”

Shirabu couldn’t tell him he was right. It might be true.

~~~~~~~

Friday night turned out to be one of those nights where everything seemed to be courting disaster. In part, it was all Akaashi’s fault. The paper had finally published his review of the restaurant. He’d written about them with lavish praise, highlighting the talent of their pastry chef especially. Shirabu had walked into the kitchen before lunch, smiling as he saw how Goshiki was being praised by his fellow chefs, only to see the joy in his eyes change to hurt when they turned Shirabu’s way. They’d managed a brief exchange of congratulation and acceptance, more words than they’d spoken for days.

Even still, it was more than what Ushiwaka and Shirabu had done. 

There was an ache in his heart at not being able to really congratulate his guys, not being able to share their joy. Shirabu hadn’t had much time to worry about that, though. He hadn’t had much time to do anything. Lunch had been packed, and the phone started ringing off the hook before the last diners were out the door. Shirabu had holed up in his office all afternoon taking calls from people who wanted reservations. They were booked solid for days between the new customers curious about their menu and regulars wanting to make sure their tables would still be available. 

Truly the power of the written word was amazing. 

It was also Akaashi’s fault that Semi had taken the night off. Oh, he’d asked after lunch just to make sure, of course - he knew how busy things would be that night. But Shirabu wasn’t going to make him cancel. That had meant, though, that Kawanishi had to play bartender all night - and Shirabu hadn’t had any backup. The place was packed, people made stupid mistakes because they were excited, and Shirabu was the one who had to juggle everything and make sure nothing fell through the cracks. Luckily one of their lunchtime waitresses had agreed to come in and play hostess for a couple hours when things were busiest. Still, by the time the night was over, Shirabu’s feet were aching and he was exhausted.

At least now he’d have some peace and quiet, he thought, tidying up the papers and notes he’d made in the insanity of the evening. All he wanted was to go to bed.

A throat cleared behind him.

He turned and looked, feeling the silence like a physical thing in the air that stretched between Ushiwaka’s lips and his own. 

Finally, Ushiwaka broke the silence. “Tendou has offered to take me out to celebrate,” he said.

There were questions behind the words, even if they didn’t show in Ushiwaka’s tone of voice. Shirabu knew him. Knew what the statement was asking. 

Do you want to come?

Do you want me to stay home?

Are we talking?

Shirabu looked down, considering the questions as he pressed the ball of his foot into the ground, stretching the arch until it hurt. He wanted to celebrate, to laugh and hug and be pulled close as his friends sat around joking and talking into the evening. He wanted to whisper praise into Ushiwaka’s skin, tell him how proud he was, feel as his lover’s joy was translated into movement and touch and pleasure that lasted until dawn.

But he wasn’t ready.

So he just said, “Have fun.”

He regretted it a bit after Ushiwaka turned and left, considered calling him back. But he didn’t. Instead, he stayed downstairs while Ushiwaka changed, only going to the apartment after he saw the man get into Tendou’s car. He practically fell into the shower once he got there, turning up the water nice and hot. The shower was followed by an even longer bath. He was dozing by the end, water cooling for the second time. Giving into defeat he drained the water and went to clamber into bed, finally relaxed. 

Of course, as soon as he got there, he couldn’t get to sleep.

Thoughts from the day raced through his mind as he lay in the dark. He wondered how long things were going to go on like this. He and Ushiwaka didn’t fight, not really. Not normally. They hadn’t even fought back during the issue with Oikawa. It was easier to communicate with sex, sweeping irritations under the rug and pretending they didn’t matter because normally they didn’t. They worked as a team. Shirabu wanted what Ushiwaka wanted, and more often than not Ushiwaka was focused on Shirabu’s happiness. Their teammates - their friends - were still right there alongside them, even if Yamagata worked for an architect and Tendou was a journalist. 

Shirabu tried to push away the part of him that blamed himself for everything turning wrong.

When the phone buzzed on the nightstand, Shirabu was dozing and almost didn’t recognize the sound. Frowning he reached out, watching as the call went to voicemail. Ushiwaka.

Ushiwaka had three missed calls.

Cursing Shirabu sat up in bed, checking the logs. Two of them had been while he was in the bath. A sudden fear gripped him that something bad had happened, that he and Tendou had gotten in a car accident, that Ushiwaka had slipped and hit his head and they were at the emergency room -

Another thought made him pause with his finger hovering over the call button. What if there was nothing wrong. What if it was just -

A call from Tendou Satori came in while he was exploring his sudden hesitation. Frowning he answered it, lifting the phone to his ear.

“Shirabu!” Tendou said, voice louder than necessary. There was music in the background. Not a hospital then. 

“Tendou.”

“How’s my favorite setter doing?”

Shirabu huffed, leaning back against his pillows. “Why don’t you ask him, he’s probably right there beside you.”

Tendou just laughed. “No, actually he’s out on the dancefloor with Akaashi. Is it bad to say that your boyfriend looks really hot dancing with another man? Because he really really does. Especially in this outfit, wow man. I am lucky, lucky, lucky.”

Unable to keep the smile from his face, Shirabu wondered exactly what ‘this outfit’ entailed. He was almost tempted to ask Tendou to send a picture. 

“Hey listen,” Tendou said. “Not to change the subject, but - is it true you’re breaking up with Wakashi?”

“What?” Shirabu said, mood doing a complete 180.

“I didn’t really believe it, but Semi said you guys have been really tense lately at work. There are all sorts of rumors running around. Now my best friend is sitting here getting drunker than I’ve ever seen and staring at his phone, acting like you hate him. It’s not true is it?”

“Of course not,” Shirabu said. “And I’m not breaking up with him, we’re just -”

“Good,” Tendou said.

“Issat Ken?” came a slurred voice. “Gimme the phone, S’tori, you don’t get to talk to -”

“Hey, hey, hey!”

Shirabu pulled the phone from his ear and frowned at the noise that crackled from the earpiece. When he finally lifted it back up, he wasn’t expecting the person who answered.

“Your boyfriend is surprisingly loud when he’s drunk. I don’t remember that from my party.”

“Kenma,” Shirabu said.

“Shirabu,” Kenma replied.

“He normally isn’t loud,” Shirabu said. “Then again, it’s not like we’re in the habit of going out to clubs, either.”

“I’m jealous. I have a feeling things are much calmer where you’re at.”

Shirabu chuckled. “Yeah, curled up in bed with no one else home. Doesn’t get much quieter.”

“I see,” Kenma said. “Wish I was there instead of here. Well, not there, but -”

“I got it,” Shirabu said, holding back a chuckle before his thoughts turned serious. “Is Ushiwaka alright?”

“Hmm. Well, Bokuto distracted him from the phone. They’re currently arm-wrestling, of all things.”

“Oh? Who’s winning?”

“I’m not sure what they’re doing could be anything close to what you might call winning or losing. Especially considering that Tendou and Kuroo are helping push. The wrong way, I think, but there’s a slight possibility it’s intentional.”

Shirabu laughed.

“I take it things aren’t going so well between you two?” asked Kenma.

That made Shirabu pause. His instinct was to not talk about his relationship with strangers - but really, Kenma wasn’t a stranger, even if they hadn’t known each other long. “No,” he finally said. “I guess you could say we failed to take your advice.”

“Oh? Which part?”

“The part where you said we should communicate before anything happened with the third party.”

“Ah,” said Kenma. 

Silence stretched between them. It felt comfortable, though; didn’t feel like Kenma was leaving space in an attempt to get Shirabu to say more. It was just silence, the background noise of the club tethering Shirabu to what was going on in a way that was vaguely comforting.

“Your boyfriend is getting really drunk,” Kenma said at last. “I think he wants to sing karaoke. I’m fairly sure this club doesn’t have karaoke rooms. Even if they did, I’m not sure they’d have the music for the particular songs he’s singing.”

“Songs?” Shirabu asked.

“Songs,” Kenma confirmed.

“Folk songs?”

“Yes. I think so. I’m not completely certain.”

Rubbing his forehead, Shirabu sighed. “Tell me the name of the club, again?”

~~~~~~

By the time he got Ushiwaka home, Shirabu was less than pleased. Ushiwaka had indeed been singing when he got to the club and hadn’t stopped since. Fortunately, Kenma had loaned out one of his boyfriends to help get Ushiwaka into the car and up the steps. There was no way Shirabu would’ve been able to do it alone, and Tendou was just as drunk if not more so than Ushiwaka himself. Kuroo was a great help. Stronger than he looked. 

Unfortunately, he also liked to sing - off-key.

Finally, however, they managed to make it up the stairs and get Ushiwaka into the apartment. 

“Thank you, Kuroo-san,” Shirabu said, waving. Kuroo gave him a cheeky grin and turned towards the steps. Shirabu watched him carefully, making sure the man was steady walking down the steps before he closed the door.

He expected Ushiwaka to be passed out in the hall behind him.

He did not expect for Ushiwaka to press him against the door, hands wandering over his body, lips wet as they kissed his neck before nuzzling close.

“Shirabu,” Ushiwaka crooned. “Shirabu, I love you.”

Shirabu closed his eyes, fighting his body’s instinctive reaction to Ushiwaka’s touch and wishing he’d worn a less-revealing shirt to the club. He hadn’t really thought about it, just thrown on some jeans and a stretchy v-neck black shirt that would make it past the bouncers. Now he was regretting it. “You’re drunk,’ he said.

Ushiwaka responded by biting his neck, licking at the velvet fabric there. “You wore your collar for me,” he said. “You wore your collar for everyone to see. You love me. I could barely keep my hands off you on the way home.”

“You didn’t,” Shirabu said. He hadn’t, either. At the time Shirabu had been more concerned with helping his lover stay upright and hoping that Ushiwaka wasn’t groping Kuroo as well. That would be hard to explain to Kenma.

He’d chalked it up to drunken foolishness, however.

This went beyond drunken foolishness. Ushiwaka was kissing up his neck to suck at his ear, one hand sliding under Shirabu’s shirt to press against the belly beneath. “I love you,” he murmured, grinding against Shirabu’s ass. “Miss you, need you, want you so much Kenjirou...”

It hurt. It hurt and it made him angry. Angry at Ushiwaka for getting drunk and pulling this, angry at himself because he didn’t want to push away, hurt because it all felt so wrong. The hand palming his cock through his jeans was the last straw. 

“Stop,” he murmured.

Ushiwaka stopped. “Ken?” he asked, stepping back, voice uncertain.

“Just - just go to bed,” Shirabu said, not moving from the door. He didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes.

He just listened as Ushiwaka stood there, breathing loudly for a few moments before turning and walking to their bedroom.

Shirabu closed his eyes. His lashes were wet. He was surprised to find, when he lifted fingers to his face, that there were tears on his cheek.

Everything felt so wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days, Shirabu’s mood just got worse. He snapped at the waitstaff. Kawanishi’s sense of humor just made him grumpy. Even Semi was avoiding him, and he could swear his friends were whispering about him behind his back.

Part of the problem, he knew, was that he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Ushiwaka had taken to getting up in the middle of the night and opening the guestroom door, looking in. He never said anything. Never came inside. Still, it hurt, and Shirabu wished he would say something - anything - to break this wall of glass that had built up between them.

He’d do it himself, but he didn’t know what to say.

He wasn’t surprised to see Goshiki in his office. Wasn’t surprised at his look of shock, either; it was how Goshiki always looked at him now. It hurt a bit, but he didn’t know how to fix that either. He was surprised that there was a letter in Goshiki’s hand rather than a plate of some new pastry.

“What’s this?” Shirabu asked, trying to be lighthearted. “I was expecting some of your new watermelon creation.”

Goshiki’s eyes lit up before he looked down at the letter in his hand, turning it over and over with a frown. “Ah, no,” he said. He tightened his grip on the letter for a moment, then his face got steely with resolve and he handed it over to Shirabu.

Frowning, he opened the letter. “What is it?” he asked, scanning the first few lines, blood suddenly running cold.

Letter of resignation.

“No,” he whispered, looking up at Goshiki in shock.


	7. Pumpkin Pie

Goshiki stared back at Shirabu. “What do you mean, no?” he asked, hands in fists by his side. He looked so vulnerable.

“Why?” Shirabu asked. Though it was a stupid question - he knew why. Goshiki wanted to leave because he was uncomfortable because Shirabu had screwed things up, because -

“I’m getting in the way!” Goshiki said, just this side of too loud.

Shirabu blinked. “What?”

Lower lip trembling, Goshiki looked down. He’d backed himself up against the desk, knuckles hitting against the glass that covered the dark wood. “It’s obvious,” he said. “You were so happy before I got here. Then I came, and I -”

“It’s not your fault,” Shirabu said.

“That’s what Ushiwaka-san said,” Goshiki murmured, “but he’d said that you actually liked me too, that you wanted to... ah....”

Raising an eyebrow, Shirabu watched as two spots of bright color appeared on Goshiki’s cheeks as he looked away. He was really curious as to exactly what Ushiwaka had told him to get such a reaction.

But that wasn’t the important thing, not when Goshiki was shaking and looked to be almost on the edge of tears.

“But then you!” Goshiki blurted out, drawing in a shaky breath. “And it was my fault, I shouldn’t - Ushiwaka-san is yours, I should never have -”

“Do you like him?” Shirabu asked, kicking himself internally when that question produced nothing but a wince of deep guilt on Goshiki’s face. “I mean do you like - fuck.”

Goshiki was really close to crying now, shoulders hunched. Shirabu wanted nothing more than to gather the man in his arms and reassure him with soft touches. He was close to doing so, but then he thought of Ushiwaka, and the conversations they still needed to have. It tore him up inside to have Goshiki this upset, though - what type of dom would he be if he couldn’t even comfort this man who was open and honest and selfless?

“I’m sorry,” Shirabu murmured.

“I’m the one who’s sorry!”

“Hush. I like you, Goshiki.”

Goshiki’s head snapped up and he looked at Shirabu, eyes wide. “What?”

“I do like you. Those things Ushiwaka said - I don’t know what he told you, but they’re probably true. Though at some point I’d like to know exactly what he told you.”

The color was back in Goshiki’s cheeks - and his nose. It was adorable and Shirabu could feel his heart being put at risk.

Who was he kidding? It was probably already gone.

“But I,” Goshiki murmured, wiping his face with a hand. “You ran away.”

“That’s not on you,” Shirabu murmured. “Ushiwaka and I - we hadn’t talked, not really. We’d danced around the idea but hadn’t ever really sat down and talked about what wanted. We haven’t talked to you about what you want.”

“I want you!” Goshiki blurted out, shoulders hunching as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Well, you can’t have me if you run away,” Shirabu countered.

There was shock when Goshiki looked at him - shock and, to some extent, hope. “You really like me?” he asked.

Shirabu huffed. “Yes.”

“I want you to like me even more!” Goshiki almost yelled. “I want to be the best pastry chef ever, so you will eat all my cakes! And, ah...”

“Silly,” Shirabu replied, shaking his head. “If I ate all of your cakes I’d be fat.”

“You’d still be amazing,” Goshiki replied, looking up at him shyly.

Cheeks heating up, Shirabu looked to the side himself. “Tch,” he muttered, holding the letter out to Goshiki. “Can you just take this back? So that we can pretend this never happened? Well, the whole resignation thing, not the rest of this.”

“Yes, sir!” Goshiki said, reaching out for the letter but then hesitating. “But what about Ushiwaka? He’s really sad.”

Shirabu thought he might love this man even more for caring about Ushiwaka. “Let me worry about that,” he murmured, shaking the envelope. “It’ll be ok, ba - Goshiki. Trust me, ok?”

Goshiki looked at him then took the envelope. “I trust you,” he said.

“Good,” Shirabu said, watching as Goshiki’s breathing evened out. “I’m sorry things have been so hard for you this week. I’m sure it’s been a little bit like riding a roller coaster. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

For some reason, that last statement made Goshiki look down and blush. Once again, Shirabu found himself having to hold back. He understood in a far more visceral way the temptation Ushiwaka had faced.

It was meant to be a surprise, he’d said.

Ushiwaka had probably been far less selfish that night than Shirabu was feeling right now. 

“Now?” Goshiki said, sounding a bit strangled.

“Not now,” Shirabu murmured, allowing himself another step towards the other man and looking up at Goshiki. His face, his breath, his responses, Shirabu wanted to catalog all of them. “You can think about it, though. What I can do. To make it up to you.”

Widening eyes and an opening mouth. A soft, squeaky voice that said, “Yes, ah, yes sir.” Goshiki looked at him with wonder, and the stupid letter he’d brought was now thoroughly crushed in his fist. 

Shirabu wanted Ushiwaka to be here for this. To see this, to know this, to be a part of this. He looked toward the door, suddenly conscious that he’d left it half open and that anyone could’ve seen or heard their last conversation. His gut wrenched at the idea of Ushiwaka stopping by and seeing this, feeling the same as he had a few nights before. 

Even if he hadn’t touched Goshiki, Ushiwaka would know.

They had to do this right. Ushiwaka, Goshiki... they were both too important for him not to do this right. 

“Things will get better,” Shirabu said, looking back at Goshiki.

“Yes!” Goshiki said, eyes shining. “I’ll be the best, I promise! Best chef, best - ah -”

Shirabu felt the familiar tinge of annoyance he got whenever Goshiki boasted about becoming the best chef, but it was coupled with fondness. The way Goshiki looked at him, he knew the man was thinking of something far more personal with his second claim - something far more personal but as yet undefined. It held so much possibility, that unsaid word. It held hope.

“I look forward to seeing how you back that claim up,” Shirabu teased.

“Yes!”

Now they were both grinning, and Shirabu couldn’t help but laugh, heart lighter than it had been in days. “I need to go check in on the kitchen. Will you come with me?”

“Yes!.... Sir,” Goshiki said, and there was a twinkle in his eye that made Shirabu wonder if the man knew exactly it affected him to be addressed with the title. 

And Semi said he was cheeky.

He was able to tone the grin down to a soft smile as he walked through the restaurant to the kitchen, trying to ignore the stares and the soft “finally” that Semi let out as they passed close to the bar. Pushing the door to the kitchen open he saw Ushiwaka sitting in the back, head in his hands, Tendou beside him. The sight of his lover in pain made him ache inside. He could still feel the echoes of anger within himself, but there was so much more between them than one misunderstanding.

They just needed to get back on the same page.

“Excuse me,” Shirabu said, watching Ushiwaka. His lover’s shoulders tensed but he otherwise didn’t move.

“Shirabu!” Tendou said, a grin splitting his face. “Ah, and if it isn’t my favorite pastry chef! The chef with the coolest bangs!”

“Yes! I’m going to be the best chef ever!” Goshiki said.

The tiny way Ushiwaka’s lips twitched as Goshiki said that was not lost on Shirabu. It made his heart warm.

He stepped closer, letting Tendou deal with Goshiki for the moment. “Waka,” he murmured, putting his hand on the counter a few inches away from Ushiwaka’s elbow.

Ushiwaka looked up then, eyes filled with a vulnerability that made Shirabu clench his jaw. Ushiwaka should never look like that. Ushiwaka should never look like that because of him. The enormity of the love he felt for the other man welled up inside him, and he risked moving his fingers those last few inches, brushing against his lover’s arm.

He was worried Ushiwaka would pull back, but he didn’t. Instead, the look softened out of fear to hope, and then a quiet love that matched the warmth in Shirabu’s heart.

“Can we talk?” Shirabu asked.

Ushiwaka nodded. “Yes,” he said.

Letting out a breath, Shirabu looked down, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips again. “Good.”

~~~~~~

In all honesty, Shirabu wasn’t sure why he chose this place to have their talk.

It just seemed oddly fitting, in a purely symbolic way. 

At least, it was meant to be purely symbolic.

“Yahoo, welcome to Tooru’s Sweet Shop! Where you have the lucky pleasure to be waited on by - wait. You two? We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.”

Ushiwaka paused, just inside the door, and said, “Oh. Ok.”

Huffing Shirabu pushed him forward. “He’s joking.”

Moving forward, Ushiwaka just looked a little confused. “Really? Are you joking, Oikawa?”

“Yes, he’s just joking,” Shirabu grumbled, shooting Oikawa a look. 

Oikawa narrowed his eyes at him and then huffed. “Fine, fine, I was joking. What can I get you two today?”

Shirabu looked over at Ushiwaka, but his boyfriend was holding back, letting him take the lead. Doing that with Oikawa watching was a bit intimidating, but Shirabu knew none of that would show as he stepped forward to peruse the selections of the day. “Is your pumpkin pie made from scratch?” he finally asked. “With real pumpkins?”

“Of course!” Oikawa said, sounding offended that Shirabu might doubt him. 

“Two of those then,” he replied.

“With whipped cream?”

Glancing up, Shirabu raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Is it real?”

Oikawa pursed his lips but then turned, airily ignoring the question. “Two pumpkin pies with whipped cream then. Anything to drink?”

“Lychee boba, if you please. And, ah, an iced chai,” Shirabu replied, glancing back at Ushiwaka for confirmation. 

Ushiwaka’s lips quirked and he nodded, watching him. Ushiwaka was watching him. Oikawa was right there and all Ushiwaka could see was Shirabu, completely ignoring the gorgeous man who was currently humming as he served up their order. It wasn’t that it was anything other than what he expected, but still, it soothed old wounds he’d thought were healed.

He loved Ushiwaka so much.

The sound of plastic slamming down onto tile made him turn back around. Oikawa had put all of their food on a teal tray and was pushing it forward.

“Here you go, Shira-chan!” Oikawa said, smile wide and false. His eyes seemed to soften a bit when Shirabu reached for his wallet, though. “Ah, no worries, it’s on the house.”

“Thank you,” Shirabu said, easily moving out of the way when Ushiwaka stepped forward to take the tray. A display of gift cards caught his eye, plastic covered in teal and glittery-silver diamonds. He thought about the present he wanted to get for Yamagata. It could wait.

“I hope you enjoy it!”

Nodding, Shirabu flashed Oikawa a genuine smile before turning to follow Ushiwaka to a booth in the back.

They settled in, quiet for a few moments as they both tried out the pie. It was good, creamy and spicy, basic but wholesome. Shirabu wondered what Goshiki would make if he asked for a pumpkin pie. Would he add chili powder to it? To give it an extra kick? Maybe line the bottom of the crust with caramel? Shirabu smiled, chasing a bite with a drink of his boba tea, lost in the comfort of just being with Ushiwaka.

“I never wanted him, you know,” Ushiwaka said suddenly. 

Startled, Shirabu said, “What?”

“Oikawa, I mean, not - Tendou said - I always thought your dislike of him came from jealousy because he was another very capable setter. I never quite understood that you were under the impression I wanted to have sex with him, or date him. Personally, I think he would be rather annoying in bed, and exhausting to date. I could be wrong. I have to admit, it isn’t something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.”

“Oh,” Shirabu said, dumbfounded. He swallowed, feeling like the bottom had dropped out from beneath him, making him have to reevaluate some critical assumptions. “But the way you looked at him - you did want him. You wanted him as a setter even in high school.”

“As a setter, I thought that he would be an excellent addition to the team, yes, though we already had two excellent setters. And, I thought that he would have been able to reach his potential as a setter better at our school. We proved some of that in university.”

That was true. The two of them had been fearsome together, especially with the other top-notch players on the team. If Oikawa’s knee hadn’t blown out their senior year, he probably could’ve gone professional.

Nothing like that held Ushiwaka back, but for some reason, he’d chosen to use his degree in business and culinary arts to open the restaurant with Shirabu rather than pursue an athletic career.

“He was an excellent setter for the team,” Ushiwaka murmured, reaching across the table and taking Shirabu’s hand, “but he wasn’t my setter.”

Shirabu swallowed, watching as Ushiwaka’s fingers slid up, tracing over the almost invisible scars on his wrist from his surgery. They covered six screws and a small metal plate, remnants of the night when he’d shattered his wrist landing wrong in a fall. It hadn’t happened on the court - he’d been rollerblading, of all things - but it had been the end of his university volleyball career.

These were not the feelings he’d signed up for when inviting Ushiwaka out to talk. He tilted his head toward the wall and blinked back tears that threatened to fall, hoping that Oikawa wasn’t looking.

“Thank you,” he murmured, “for telling me. You didn’t have to.”

Ushiwaka shook his head. “I think I should’ve made it clear a long time ago,” he said. “Tendou says sometimes I assume you know how I feel because of what I do, but that it’s not enough.”

Lips twitching, Shirabu watched the fingertips rubbing against his skin. “I do know,” he said. “And it’s not like - I mean, you tell me you love me, and you show me all the time.”

“Obviously not enough,” Ushiwaka replied. “And I’m sorry I got impatient the other night when we were fighting. I would spend my life trying to convince you how much I love you, how important you are to me.”

Shirabu flushed. He did not understand how Ushiwaka could be blunt like that, especially in public. 

“You don’t know how much it means to me to know you’re wearing my collar right now,” Ushiwaka continued. “To know that every day, you choose to put it on, even though no one will see it. I don’t think you even know how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

Shirabu clinched his jaw. Ushiwaka wasn’t supposed to know these words, wasn’t supposed to use them. He felt caught, and vulnerable, and safe. He didn’t have any words to give back, but Ushiwaka didn’t seem to need them. 

Instead, he just smiled when Shirabu finally looked up at him, eyes tinged with a hint of red. “You know - I mean, we both know you weren’t the first person I ever had sex with or messed around with. But I want you to know that you’ve been the only person I’ve ever really wanted. At least, until...”

“Until you saw Goshiki?” Shirabu asked, the thought resting much more easily now than it had in the past.

“Until I saw you watching Goshiki,” Ushiwaka replied gently.

Shirabu sat back, furrowing his brows and trying to understand what Ushiwaka meant.

With a self-deprecating smile, Ushiwaka said, “Tendou said you didn’t even notice. From the moment Goshiki was hired, you were always watching him. True, you were normally annoyed - but even that was surprising. Other people could say things and you’d just blow them off, but he got to you. It bothered me at first. I was a bit childish, I admit - I didn’t really like having your attention on someone other than me. But then I paid more attention to him myself and discovered he was, ah. Interesting.”

“Alluring, in a naive, loud, boasting type of way,” Shirabu muttered.

Ushiwaka laughed. “Ah, well yes.”

Shirabu frowned. “It could’ve been nothing,” he said. “It could’ve been just like how you paid attention to Oikawa.”

“But it wasn’t, was it?”

“No.”

“I like him,” Ushiwaka said. “I like the way he pushes himself and challenges everyone around him to do better; how he doesn’t back down. And he is good. A very good chef. He has the instincts for it, he’s an artist with flavor and texture and temperature. I like the idea of seeing him with you, watching your hands on him. I sometimes think about the way your face will look when you have him under your control. I want to see how he’ll react when I touch him, the way he’ll squirm, the sounds he’ll make. Oh, Shirabu, the sounds he’ll make when we have him.”

Shirabu was trembling now, pulled under by the rhythm of Ushiwaka’s voice and their shared desire. He swallowed. “I want more than just sex, with him,” he said, a sliver of fear in his chest at the admission.

“You like him,” Ushiwaka said. “You could fall in love with him, I think. And he’s basically in love with you - wouldn’t surprise me, the way he’s been courting you.”

“Courting me?” Shirabu asked, surprised until he thought of all the desserts. “Oh. Well. Yes.”

Ushiwaka laughed again, squeezing his hand. “I like him too. I’m interested to see how this plays out. I think it could be a wonderful thing - but even if it isn’t, as long as I have you, I’ll be happy.”

Shirabu smiled at him. 

He knew he was in deep enough with Goshiki that the loss of him would hurt. It wasn’t what he wanted, not at all. But he’d have Ushiwaka.

And for the first time in a long time, there was a confidence in that thought that went deep.

“I love you,” he said, glancing down. “Ah, I need to go to the restroom, but - after that, maybe we can talk about how we want to talk to him?”

“Yes.”

~~~~~~

Shirabu couldn’t help the smile on his face when he stepped into the restroom. He did his business and stepped up to the sink to wash his hands, startled by the light in his eyes when he looked in the mirror. He looked so happy. He was happy. There was no way he could show this face in public. Laughing to himself he tried to control his face, tried to compose himself so that the warmth bubbling up from his heart wouldn’t be quite so obvious.

The sound of someone entering the restroom behind him made that a little easier, but it was the click of a lock that had him turning in surprise.

“Oikawa?” he asked, puzzled.

Oikawa was looking down at the tile floor and leaning back against the door. He was silent for a moment and then began to speak. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time,” he said.

Wary now, Shirabu gripped the sink behind him, wondering what the man wanted.

“Of course,” Oikawa said, “that would’ve involved looking you up. Actually making an effort to talk to you. You didn’t deserve that effort. You didn’t -”

Shirabu watched as Oikawa swallowed and slowly looked up. 

“I wanted to make sure it was very clear to you,” Oikawa continued, “that nothing happened between the two of us in high school. Or university. Hell, I didn’t even want to play with him in university. I didn’t know until the first practice that we were even going to the same school. I knew he’d been scouted, but they kept it so hush-hush as to which one had recruited him - did you know I almost quit? Almost transferred over to Iwaizumi’s university after that first semester? He convinced me not to, but I got so stressed out I almost failed some courses. And then here you come second year, when I’ve finally made peace with the fact that I’m going to set to this guy, give him my best - and my best was fucking amazing because I was the best fucking setter out there - “

“You were,” Shirabu murmured.

“But all he wants is your sets, and he’s always watching you in practice, throwing off my sets and saying things like ‘Shirabu does this’ and making me want to scream, and when I am ready to throw in the towel and say fuck it let the first year set to you if it’ll make your baby-butt happy, you go and get yourself injured!”

Shirabu blinked, feeling like this was the second time he was getting a whole new version of his university days. “Ah, sorry?”

“And I switch majors, but - oh look, Ushiwaka’s there too, being all perfect and talented and making all these little suggestions that of course are right, because it’s fucking Ushiwaka - and then you get all jealous and decide to explode on me the one weekend my boyfriend can make it into town before finals hell - and you do it in front of him, throwing all these words and accusations around and acting like you’re the injured party here -”

“I’m sorry,” Shirabu said, watching as Oikawa just huffed, trying to catch his breath.

“What?”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I was stupid and immature, and yeah you’re right, I was jealous. And I didn’t have any real reason to be. All of that, it was on me.”

“Oh,” Oikawa said, furrowing his brow and blinking. “You’re right, it was.”

Shirabu wanted to laugh, but his hands were still trembling. “I guess - well. We were never really rivals at all. You were just really good, and I guess I felt kinda inadequate in comparison.”

“Well, you were,” Oikawa said, then winced. “Eh, well. Not really, I suppose. You actually were a really good setter for Shiratorizawa. We wouldn’t’ve lost to you if you weren’t good - and then, uh. I guess I was a pretty crappy senpai when you came to University, too.”

Shrugging, Shirabu wondered if they should have tea and talk this out. He’d never seen this side of Oikawa before. Sure, Oikawa could be a terror, but Shirabu hadn’t known that he could be this vulnerable.

Hadn’t known he had been this vulnerable.

“It’s fine,” Shirabu said.

Oikawa just nodded, heaving a deep sigh before he tilted his head to the side. “Ah, you’re not just saying that because I locked you in the bathroom with me and you want to be let out, are you?”

Shirabu laughed out loud. “I’m pretty sure I could just text Kenma about it and he’d make you let me out.”

Scowling, Oikawa said, “Yeah that’s another thing. Who said you could be friends with my friends?”

“Sorry,” Shirabu said, not sorry in the least this time.

“Cheeky brat.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Oikawa was looking at him now, though, pulling himself back together. 

“Your pumpkin pie is good, by the way.”

“I know,” Oikawa said with a huff. He looked pleased, though. Shirabu was tempted to say that it wasn’t as good as what Goshiki would make, but then he decided this probably wasn’t the best time.

There was a soft knock on the bottom part of the door. “Hello?” came a small voice. “Is this open? I really need to pee.”

Oikawa jumped away from the door and undid the lock, pulling the handle. A tiny child looked up at him.

“Thank you,” the child said, shuffling in, eyes growing wider the longer they stared at Oikawa’s face. There was a gasp, and then, “You’re Tooru-chan! Daddy, daddy, look, it’s Tooru-chan! Tooru-chan is in the bathroom! Can we get a picture?”

Oikawa blinked, then looked helplessly at the frazzled man who followed the child inside. “Ah...”

“Later, honey,” the man said, giving Oikawa an apologetic look. “If we’re lucky maybe he’ll still be outside when we’re done, if you do good, ok? Right?”

Smile slipping effortlessly into place, Oikawa said, “That’s right! You do a good job and I might even give you a cupcake as a reward!”

“Wow!” the child squealed, running over to one of the stalls and almost tripping over their shoes.

“Thank you,” the father said.

“No problem, sir! Happy to have you both here!”

Shirabu chuckled, pressing away from the sink and heading toward the door. “We can talk more later if you want?” he murmured to Oikawa. There was no way he wanted to be in the restroom while the child was using it.

Oikawa huffed, frowning. “If you’re lucky,” he replied. 

It didn’t have his normal bite, though, and Shirabu felt like they had made at least a bit of progress.

“Yes,” Shirabu said, stepping out and going back towards the booth where Ushiwaka was waiting for him, a soft hiss of laughter trailing his first few steps until Oikawa disappeared into the kitchen.

That had been bizarre, but he was happy it had happened. It felt like the past was finally being put to rest.

Now, it was time to figure out the future.


	8. Chai

“Alright, so,” Shirabu said, sliding into the booth and drinking in Ushiwaka’s smile, “dating Goshiki.”

Was it his imagination, or did Ushiwaka’s smile tighten just a bit when he said that?

“Ah, dating?”

Brow furrowing, Shirabu glanced back at the restroom and then over to Ushiwaka, wondering for a moment if this was one of those dreams where you stepped out of one reality and into another. “Isn’t that what we were talking about?”

Ushiwaka frowned, picking up his mug of chai and sipping it thoughtfully. “We were talking about getting together with him, yes.”

Shirabu watched him for a moment, tilting his head to the side. He was suddenly very glad they’d opted to have this part of the conversation without Goshiki around. “I told you I wanted more than sex.”

“Well of course,” Ushiwaka said, hands tightening on the mug. “He’s our friend - and I mean, it makes perfect sense for there to be infatuations develop if we’re sleeping together -”

“Infatuations? A moment ago you said he was basically in love with me!”

“Yes, but you will be his dom, or well. I know we have to work out the details. But that’s a very deep relationship, isn’t it? I mean. Emotionally speaking.”

Shirabu stared at him, trying to decipher the lines of tension around Ushiwaka’s eyes. He felt frustrated; just moments ago they had seemed to be on exactly the same page. Now he felt tripped up, confused. He looked over at his boba tea, tempted to take a drink just to do something while he thought, but he wasn’t thirsty.

What was Ushiwaka thinking? It felt like he liked the idea of being with Goshiki, but only on his terms. Shirabu could have this freedom, but only within these limits. Was that really what was going on?

There was silence again. The silence that echoed the emptiness of the past few days, that almost seemed to threaten what they’d built with words when they’d first sat down. But in his mind, he knew that threat was only real if he chose to make it so.

He looked up, studying Ushiwaka, whose gaze was fixed on the surface of his chai. He saw the man he adored more than any other person on the planet. The one who’d held him through his worst moments, who knew all the angry things he wanted to say to his parents but never had. He saw a man whose mother traveled to be with them every holiday, taking over their kitchen and yelling at Ushiwaka in a way no one else dared. He’d worshiped this man, he loved this man and was willing to admit that he didn’t always understand him as much as he wanted.

But he was willing to try and learn.

“If you want to date him,” Ushiwaka murmured, “I won’t stand in your way.”

Shirabu sat in silence as he processed the words, watching strong fingers shift around a porcelain cup. He felt the beginnings of a smile, wanted to reach out and calm those fingers with his hands. “This will only work,” he said, “if it’s a ‘we’ thing. Not an ‘I’ thing. I wanted us to date him, not me. Us to maybe fall in love with him, not just me. Nothing here works without you.”

“But if I can’t - if you...”

“If I what?”

Ushiwaka looked away, and Shirabu saw fears written on his face. Fears whose root probably had nothing to do with him.

Old, nasty fears that made him reach out and tug Ushiwaka’s fingers away from his mug, grateful when Ushiwaka finally looked at him. ‘You have me,” he said, “as much as I have you. Even if you decide we need to pull the plug on this, that you aren’t comfortable with it - you’ll still have me. Just as much as I have you. It’s like if I need to safeword out, I know it won’t change us, it’s like you’ve said before - it’s me respecting myself enough to be honest. Well, it’s different because Goshiki is a person and it’s not just a scene, but in the end, no matter what - you have me.”

His lover looked at him a long time, then his lips twitched a bit. They both smiled. They weren’t the same smiles that they’d shared a bit ago, but it didn’t matter.

Above all else, this was the man he chose.

He squeezed Ushiwaka’s hand and sat back, looking thoughtfully at his own fingers. “So. Some things I want. I don’t want him to ever feel like just a toy to us. I don’t want him to ever feel used, or that we’re just with him for our own pleasure, or that he’s just something we could throw away. I want to cherish him. I like what Kenma has with Bokuto and Akaashi and Kuroo - I like the idea of us all being in a relationship like that. I know it isn’t something that will happen overnight, but I like the idea of it. I want us to be relaxed with each other, I don’t want any of us to feel uncomfortable or forced.”

“Are you asking me to love him the way I love you?” Ushiwaka asked.

“No,” Shirabu murmured. He felt out of his depth a moment. It all seemed idealistic and risky. He didn’t really know how to explain it. He frowned. “No. It’s like - you can plant tomatoes in the same plot with marigolds, right?”

Ushiwaka nodded, face solemn. “The marigolds keep the bugs off the tomatoes.”

“And there are other plants too,” Shirabu said, feeling like his knowledge of botany was not nearly up to what he needed but pressing on, “where if you plant them together in the same soil they don't harm each other, but actually make the other plants more healthy?”

“Yes.”

“Because even though monocropping has been used by people for thousands of years, really, polyculture is healthier for the soil and the climate.”

Ushiwaka’s lips twitched into a smile. “You listened to the documentary.”

“You watched it five times,” Shirabu muttered.

“Actually, only twice. The others were different programs by the same person.”

“Oh.”

Ushiwaka was smiling now, though. “So you’re asking me to let him watch documentaries with us, and not just invite him into our bed.”

“Yes,” Shirabu said. “Well, I mean that wasn’t exactly what I meant by that but - yes.”

“And we might even watch, ah. Star Track.”

“Trek?”

“Star Trek?”

Shirabu furrowed his brow, trying to remember what Goshiki had been reading. “I think so? Or Star Wars?”

“Is that the one with the Death Star, and the man who wore a black mask?”

“I think so.”

“Ah. I think I liked that when I was a child. We can watch that.”

Nodding, Shirabu said, “I think I liked the scene with the princess..”

“The one where she’s chained up?” Ushiwaka asked, amused again. “Come to think of it, we’ve never actually used metal shackles, have we.”

Shirabu made a face. “I think I’d prefer my leather cuffs, and the silk.”

“You were rather irritable the night I used handcuffs,” Ushiwaka observed, alluding to one of the rare nights where Shirabu had actually safeworded out.

Shrugging, Shirabu smiled. He took a drink of boba, swirling the cup around and watching the small gummies circle in the bottom.

“Would it make more sense,” he asked, “if I said I wanted us to get to know him better, instead of me saying I wanted us to date him?”

Ushiwaka studied him for a moment, then reached over and took his hand. “Is that what you want?” he asked.

Shirabu nodded.

“Alright,” Ushiwaka said. “Yes. That, I can do.”

“Ok.”

It wasn’t everything, but it was something.

They were finally on the same page, ready to start this.

Together.

~~~~~

In an ideal world, they would’ve been able to talk with Goshiki that evening.

In an ideal world, they also would’ve had wild passionate sex that night.

Unfortunately, neither of those things came true, and again Shirabu blamed Akaashi. It was the curse of success. Even with all hands on deck, it was a crazy night. Shirabu managed to reassure Goshiki in a quick conversation that everything was good and promise to talk to him later, but that was about it.

He did manage to corner Ushiwaka in the shower the next morning, but even that turned quick and vaguely unsatisfying because Shirabu’s phone started ringing off the hook.

The price of success, Semi called it.

Shirabu called it a pain in his ass. The whole day was unrelentingly hectic. It was supposed to be his day off, but between juggling catering orders and last-minute changes people decided they just had to make and covering for Kawanishi's well-deserved night off, there was no respite to be had. Even his break wasn’t very restful. One look around the apartment had made it clear to Shirabu that he’d let certain important things pile up the week before. Laundry and dishes and other things that he really couldn't put off. He’d been going into the kitchen after closing to talk to Ushiwaka about it when he caught his boyfriend inviting Goshiki up to the apartment to watch documentaries.

It was one of those things that he hadn’t expected from his boyfriend, but in retrospect, made perfect sense. Well, Ushiwaka sense.

Goshiki had looked at Shirabu a bit warily and asked him about it a moment later when Ushiwaka had walked back over to his station. Shirabu had reassured him that when Ushiwaka asked him to watch a documentary, he meant exactly that.

The response was amusing. Shirabu really wanted to kiss him. He’d settled for patting his shoulder and running his fingers down his arm to squeeze his hand, glancing over at Ushiwaka to make sure it was alright. Then he’d gone out to finish up the day’s receipts.

When he got up to the apartment they were already fifteen minutes into one of the permaculture documentaries. Something about regreening the desert, he thought. Ushiwaka liked that one. They were both sitting on the couch, one at either end like there was room for him in the middle. He smiled, going in and kissing Ushiwaka before apologizing to Goshiki because he wouldn’t be joining them.

Oddly enough, he wasn’t sure Goshiki minded.

Shirabu went in and out of the living room a few times gathering dishes and things, trying not to be distracting. He paused in the doorway one time, watching them, unable to keep the smile off his face.

**[ >>Kenma] : Is it bad that both my boyfriend and my potential boyfriend seem to really enjoy documentaries?**

_[ <<Kenma] : what kind? bo loves owl ones, sho says oiks is into space_

Space, huh?

**[ >>Kenma] : Pretty sure Ushi has them beat. He likes plant documentaries.**

**[ >>Kenma] : Though the space stuff actually doesn’t sound that bad. **

**[ >>Kenma] : Don’t tell Oikawa I said so, though.**

_[ <<Kenma] ur secret is safe with me _

Shirabu shook his head and then stared at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and then glanced over to where his headset lay on the counter. He weighed the options. On the one hand, he didn’t want to bother Kenma. On the other hand, it was somewhat refreshing to talk to the other man. He had other friends he’d known longer and was closer too. On the other hand, in some ways, it was refreshing to talk to someone who hadn’t known him for years, didn’t know the ins and outs of all his drama except from secondhand sources.

And Kenma didn’t ever judge, either.

**[ >>Kenma] : Mind if I call? Just chatting. I have some chores to take care of and it would be nice to relax. **

There was a pause at the other end and he wondered if he’d overstepped his bounds. It wasn’t like he and Kenma really talked on the phone often. Mainly it was texting, which is what Shirabu wanted this call to be - hands-free texting since he was about to get elbow-deep in dishwater.

_[ <<Kenma] : ok._

Lips quirking he set up the headset and called, smiling as Kenma picked up the line.

“Sorry,” Shirabu said. “Hard to text while doing the dishes.”

“It’s fine,” Kenma replied. “I’ve been meaning to clean out the guest room anyway, and the bug report I was working on was giving me a headache. This is a good excuse to take a break.”

“Good,” Shirabu replied, running soapy water. “Guest room? Expecting company?”

“Bokuto’s nieces are coming to stay with us for a week.”

“Ah, I see. My condolences on your sex life.”

Kenma laughed. “It won’t be that bad. Alright, maybe it will be. But I can always go visit Bokuto at work.”

“At the restaurant?” Shirabu asked, feeling scandalized.

“In his office, yeah,” Kenma replied. Shirabu was pretty sure he caught some muffled chuckling.

“Man, I’d be too afraid of the health inspectors,” he said. “Bad enough what Tendou and Semi get up to in the wine cellar.”

“I’ve seen them when we go for Karaoke. I can imagine.”

“Ugh, sympathies.”

“It’s actually a bit interesting. No, not that - I mean, not like - uh. More that Semi’s normally so, hmm.”

“Unresponsive?”

“Kinda? Like sex things don’t seem to really trip his radar. Then Tendou gets involved and he’s worse than Akaashi and Kuroo combined.”

“Tendou-sexual,” Shirabu said.

“Yeah, basically. It’s like one of those black and white photographs where someone’s stockings are colored red or something.”

“Makes sense,” said Shirabu, falling into the rhythm of his task. “Ah, speaking of family - how do things go with, you know. The four of you, when family comes over? Do they know? Is it - ah, well. Weird, I guess?”

He worried for a second that it was a nosy question. Well, it was a nosy question, but he wasn’t really asking because of Kenma. He was thinking of Goshiki’s family.

“Ah, his sister and her husband do,” Kenma said carefully. “Though I think the husband glosses over the details. The girls don’t really know, especially the younger. The older one is almost a teenager.”

“Huh. Goshiki’s niece is about that age.”

“Really?” Kenma asked.

“Yeah. He lives with his brother and his wife, I think. Or is it sister and her husband? Details escape me right now.”

“Happens. And yeah, to answer the other question - it’s a little weird, but Bo’s family are very loving and supportive.”

“Your family,” Shirabu said, smiling.

“Yeah,” Kenma said, voice soft and a little amazed. “Yeah. They’re pretty open-minded - his oldest niece is actually transitioning, with their full support. They found a doctor for her and everything.”

“Wow,” Shirabu said. He wasn’t familiar with that at all, but it spoke volumes about Bokuto’s family. No wonder Kenma had wanted to be placed on their register. “I’m glad. I’m glad you have people like that who call you theirs.

“Ah,” Kenma muttered, “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

There were a few minutes of comfortable silence. Shirabu could hear Kenma moving in the background, heard the sound of papers shuffled and boxes moved.

“How’s work going?” Kenma suddenly asked.

“Crazy,” Shirabu said, making a face as he loaded the dishwasher. “I blame your boyfriend.”

Kenma just laughed. “Which one?”

“Akaashi. His review has made us crazy popular. Even the bar’s filled up most of the time, and a few die-hards wait around in case we have a no-show. And of course it coincides with some big catering orders we managed to land.”

“Oh yeah, you guys got the mayor’s gig, right?”

Furrowing his brow, Shirabu closed the dishwasher and went to wipe down the sink. “You know about that?”

“Bo told me. He was a little annoyed, but Akaashi got onto him.”

“Well, good?” Shirabu asked, leaning back against the counter and surveying the kitchen. “Though I’m not sure how well we can keep up if things stay at this pace. It’s exhausting. I’m just dreading the possibility of someone calling out sick on Friday or Saturday.”

Kenma made a sympathetic noise, then said, “Have you thought about hiring more staff?”

“Hmm,” Shirabu said, walking into the living room. “Thought about it, yeah.”

“Yamagata?” Ushiwaka asked, glancing up at him and curling a hand around his arm as he bent to pick up a glass he’d missed.

“Kenma,” Shirabu replied, smiling over at Goshiki.

“Ah.”

“Thought about it?” Kenma asked.

“Yeah,” Shirabu said, going back to stick the glass in the dishwasher. “Maybe someone to go on rotation with me in the evenings, take over some of the catering details during the day. The problem is finding quality people, though.”

“Hmm. I think Oikawa said he had some friends moving into town. One of them worked in the restaurant business in Sendai, he’s been looking for a job here locally. Pretty sure his experience is more your speed than the shops Oikawa owns - they asked Konoha if Bo’s place had any openings, but they’re fully staffed at the moment.”

“Hmm,” Shirabu said, going in and staring at the pile of laundry in the corner of their bedroom.

“Guy used to play volleyball with Seijou. I don’t remember his name, but you might know him.”

“It’s not Yahaba, is it?”

“Hmm, not sure. You don’t get along with him?”

“Eh, well actually. We didn’t for a while, but he was pretty chill when we were captains that last year in high school.”

“Oh wait, Yahaba was the captain after Oikawa? Nah, that’s not this guy. I’m pretty sure Yahaba’s coaching at one of the schools up there - his husband owns the vet clinic Iwaizumi uses, I think.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Shirabu said, deciding that it was too late to try to start on laundry. He did separate the colors so he could feel like he was being at least a little responsible.

“No, it’s someone else,” Kenma said. “I’ll ask him if you want.”

“Yeah,” Shirabu said. “Thanks.”

There was some muffled shouting in the background.

“Ah,” Kenma said, “Sorry, I’m being summoned to play referee. I think Akaashi just ragequit on them.”

Shirabu laughed. “Talk to you later,”

“Night.”

It was nice having a friend like Kenma.

Smiling, Shirabu decided to leave the laundry for later. He set the headset back on the kitchen counter and shut off the lights, going into the living room and crawling onto the couch between Ushiwaka and Goshiki.

“Hey,” he murmured, getting a distracted smile from Goshiki. “New documentary?”

Ushiwaka put an arm around him and tugged him into his lap, kissing the top of his head. “Insects,” he said. “Very important part of the garden’s ecosystem.”

“I see,” Shirabu said, taking a chance and extending his legs into the space in the middle of the couch, nudging Goshiki’s leg with a foot.

Goshiki glanced over again, looking first from Ushiwaka to Shirabu. Then he smiled, shyly reaching down to pat Shirabu’s foot before getting distracted by the tiny bugs jumping around on the screen.

It actually looked like it might be an interesting documentary, one of these days.

Unfortunately, he was exhausted. He snuggled closer to Ushiwaka and let his eyes drift shut, smiling as he felt Goshiki start to gently rub his ankle.

There were worse ways to spend an evening.

This one really wasn’t half bad.

If pressed, Shirabu knew without a doubt he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here.

His phone beeped, and he checked it.

_ [<<Kenma] : oiks said the guy is kunimi _

Kunimi. The name was vaguely familiar, but for some reason, the face was slipping his mind. Probably because he was half asleep.

**[ >>Kenma] : Don’t remember him, but if Oikawa recommends him, he’s probably good. I wouldn’t mind taking a look.**

_ [<<Kenma] : k i’ll tell oiks _

_ [<<Kenma] : tho itd be easier if you guys talked directly  _

Shirabu’s lips twitched.

**[ >>Kenma] : I’ll exchange numbers with him later. **

**[ >>Kenma] : Thanks so much for your help. I owe you one. Free dessert next time you’re in **

_ [<<Kenma] : ill hold you to tht _

Ushiwaka made a curious noise, so Shirabu showed him the messages.

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka said. “I am glad you’re getting along so well with him. I admit I hadn’t thought you two would be so compatible. Maybe we should invite them over on the night when we watch Star Trick? I’d thought about inviting Tendou and Semi.”

Goshiki looked over at them, puzzled. “Star Trick?” he asked.

Shirabu held back a laugh and elbowed Ushiwaka. He was fairly certain that was a joke.

Probably.

“Star Trek,” Shirabu said. “We were thinking about watching it some night. That is if you want to.”

Goshiki’s lips parted in surprise and then he smiled, eyes shining brightly. “Yeah!” he said, then caught himself. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Good,” Shirabu murmured, feeling Ushiwaka kiss the top of his head.

The smile didn't leave Goshiki’s face after that, and he slid a bit closer on the couch, tentatively picking Shirabu’s feet up and letting them slide into his lap. It was comfortable.

His boyfriend and his potential boyfriend were happy, and he was in stage-one cuddling with both of them. The dishes were done. The restaurant was a success. His potential boyfriend was casting him shy looks every so often and rubbing his legs.

Shirabu smiled, feeling Ushiwaka hug him close, rubbing gently at his shoulders.

The last thing he remembered before dropping off to sleep was an excited narrator talking about some sort of insect farmer. He dreamed about benign ants.


	9. Clotted Cream (E)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so - #1 life has been a lil busy lately with school and a mini-vaca with fam, sorry.
> 
> #2 - the first part of this is filled with smut. loving, lovely, smut, hopefully - with foodplay, orgasm denial, and bondage involved bc they roll like that. There's also a scene near the end with more plot-related things, if smut isn't your thing atm.
> 
> #3 - hope you enjoy!!! ^_^ <3

Shirabu woke the next morning to silence. He was utterly comfortable. Warm but not too warm, curled up under their fluffy down comforter on top of their pillow-top mattress that was much better than the bed in the guest room.

That was nice too, of course, but still.

This bed smelled like Ushiwaka.

He smiled, curling over and nuzzling the pillow on Ushiwaka’s side of the bed, then glanced at the clock and froze.

“Why is it... what happened to -”

Ushiwaka nudged the door open and peered down at him over a tray. “Ah, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No - wait, why didn’t you wake me? I should’ve been downstairs thirty minutes -”

“Not today,” Ushiwaka murmured, lips curling in a way that was vaguely distracting.

“But - my phone - my alarm - where?”

“Downstairs, with Reon.”

“Reon?” Shirabu gasped, trying to figure out what was going on as he struggled to sit.

“He and Kawanishi are downstairs in the kitchen getting everything set up. I asked him to come in this morning because I covered for him last night.

“But - Kawanishi isn’t supposed to -”

“He came in with Reon,” Ushiwaka said, shrugging as he sat on the bed and set up the tray over Shirabu’s lap. “I don’t believe he’s working, though. He’s got a bruise on his cheek.”

Shirabu gave him a sharp look. “Bruise?”

“Nothing serious, just some game they were playing, he said. His arm is scraped up too. Said Semi would bring makeup for this evening.”

“Of course he will,” Shirabu muttered, looking again at the tray. Orange juice, a scone, grapes, clotted cream, a bowl of strawberries... wait. “Why are there two cups of cream?”

“One for you, one for me,” Ushiwaka said.

Looking him suspiciously, Shirabu reached for a strawberry. “Hey!” he said, frowning when Ushiwaka blocked his hand. “Those for you too?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Ushiwaka replied, a twitch of lips making Shirabu even more curious about what his boyfriend was up to. 

He settled for eating a few grapes and breaking a corner off the scone, scooping up a dollop of clotted cream before sliding it into his mouth. It was delicious, rich and buttery, and the scone had that hint of sweet doughiness inside that he loved. 

“That isn’t the proper way to eat a scone,” Ushiwaka said.

Shirabu raised an eyebrow, purposely breaking off another bite and eating it in the same manner. “You have a better way?” he asked, taking a drink of orange juice. Freshly squeezed, and unless he missed his guess, the scone was from the tiny bakery that had opened down the street. 

“I do.”

“Plan to share it with me?” Shirabu said, unable to take his gaze off of Ushiwaka’s eyes as he watched him eat.

“Perhaps,” Ushiwaka answered. “Drink your juice.”

Tendrils of a hunger that had nothing to do with food curled in Shirabu’s belly. Hunger for Ushiwaka. It was the way he was sitting. The slightly lower tone of voice. All the preparations, and the fact that they hadn’t done much of anything since the fight. Shirabu didn’t answer him, he just picked up his juice and tipped it back, watching as Ushiwaka’s gaze drifted down to his throat and the collar resting at the base.

“Did Goshiki make it home alright?” Shirabu asked, eating another grape.

“Yes,” said Ushiwaka. “Well, I assume so. I let him sleep in the guest room last night. It was late. He went home this morning to change clothes before coming in for work.”

Shirabu paused, frowning. “The guest room? But the sheets -”

“Changed them,” Ushiwaka said, hint of a smile crossing his face.

“Good,” Shirabu said, dropping his hand to the last two grapes as he thought. He’d been naked between those sheets. The thought of Goshiki between them, even with clothes on - but if the door was closed there was no reason for him to wear anything but boxers - Goshiki had probably been naked between the sheets now on the bed in the guest room.

“Shirabu,” Ushiwaka said. “Didn’t I tell you to finish your juice?”

Swallowing, Shirabu looked down at the glass. There was only a tiny bit left, but he’d been in the process of tearing off another bite of scone when Ushiwaka had spoken. 

Ushiwaka sighed. “Look at you,” he murmured. “So distracted by thoughts of another man that you can’t even follow basic directions.”

A sliver of guilt shuddered through him before he processed the fact that Ushiwaka was just playing. He picked up the glass and took the last drink, eyes locked with his lover's as he licked the last drop from the rim of the glass.

“Mmm,” Ushiwaka said. “Good boy. Though I still don’t think you can be trusted to feed yourself that scone.”

“Oh?” Shirabu asked. “And what would you suggest, sir?”

Lips twitching again, Ushiwaka reached forward and picked up the tray. “Since I’m not sure you can be trusted to do it yourself,” he said, “I suppose I’ll have to do it myself. Need to figure out a way to keep you from interfering, though, just in case you get impulsive.”

That almost made Shirabu laugh out loud. Of all his faults, impulsivity was not normally one of them. He just let his hands rest crossed in his lap, though, tilting his head and looking down as he said, “If you think that’s best, sir.”

He looked up through his eyelashes, watching as Ushiwaka moved over to their dresser, pulling out two strips of long navy fabric. The large man glanced back at Shirabu and pursed his lips, pulling open a lower drawer and taking out a few more items that made Shirabu’s heart race.

“How much time do we have again?” Shirabu asked, biting his bottom lip when Ushiwaka gave him a dark look. “Ah, sir.”

“Not enough, evidently,” Ushiwaka muttered, walking over and dropping the items on the bed. “I suppose I’ll have to make do.”

Shirabu knew better than to reply. Instead, he just watched as Ushiwaka folded the scarves lengthwise several times, smoothing his fingers over them to make sure the fabric inside the folds wasn’t bunched up. He loved the way his beloved always took care with anything that would be against his skin. Ushiwaka motioned and Shirabu obediently moved, laying the back of his hand against Ushiwaka’s leg so that his lover could carefully wrap the scarf twice around his wrist before tying a knot and checking its tightness. 

“Hmm, good,” Ushiwaka murmured, “headboard. And the other.”

Rolling slightly Shirabu complied, reaching the tied hand up to brush the headboard while he gave his other into Ushiwaka’s keeping. He loved the way Ushiwaka held him for this too, the steady strength of his fingers as they lifted his wrist and turned his hand over to check that nothing would crease his skin when he pulled against the bonds later. 

Nodding, Ushiwaka motioned and Shirabu reached up to the headboard again. He sucked in a breath, watching as Ushiwaka leaned up and pulled the blue silk through the bars of their headboard, tying them so that Shirabu had a few inches of free motion but was otherwise held fast. In an emergency he could reach over with one hand and untie the knot on the other; Ushiwaka insisted on this. He never had, though. 

He trusted Ushiwaka completely.

“Good?” Ushiwaka asked, taking Shirabu’s nod as an acceptable answer. “Alright, mask then.”

Shirabu lifted his head and closed his eyes, waiting for the feel of soft felt pressing against his eyes. Ushiwaka’s hands were gentle as he slid the elastic strap around and through his hair, moving the mask a few times to make sure it was comfortable before sliding fingertips down over Shirabu’s face to his mouth. 

“You look so good like this,” Ushiwaka murmured, pulling at Shirabu’s bottom lip with his thumb before sliding it down his chin and neck to tug at his collar. “So good, my Shirabu, my beloved.”

“Yes,” Shirabu breathed out, “sir.”

He felt Ushiwaka pull the comforter down his body, leaving him bare. The air felt cool as it wafted over him. It always sent a thrill through him, being tied up and blindfolded like this. He could hear Ushiwaka breathe, knew he was watching him, taking his time and indulging in his favorite pastime of admiring Shirabu’s body. Shirabu wafted between self-consciousness and pride, wondering for a brief instant if Ushiwaka had told him a half-truth earlier; if Goshiki was inside the apartment just waiting outside the door. He knew it wasn’t true, but it gave him a little frisson of excitement that was just doubled when Ushiwaka’s fingers traced a line down the center of his ribcage. 

Ushiwaka chuckled. “So responsive,” he whispered. “You really need this, don't you, my love?”

Nodding Shirabu licked his lips. He wanted. He needed.

“I wish I had hours with you,” Ushiwaka murmured, tweaking a nipple before moving. “Hours to tease you, play with your body. Bring you to the edge of satisfaction over and over again. Hear you beg, make you cry... well. That may happen.”

Shirabu swallowed, trying to calm his breathing. They’d barely even started, after all.

“First, though,” Ushiwaka said, laying something cool and flat against Shirabu’s stomach. The plate with the scone, he thought. Then there was another cold circle placed at the bottom of his chest - the cream.

There was pressure on the first and then the second, and Ushiwaka was reaching behind to cup the back of his neck, tilting his head up and saying, “Open.”

Shirabu’s lips were parted before Ushiwaka even finished the word. He let his tongue slide forward, taste exploding as Ushiwaka placed a bite of scone cream-side-down into his mouth. Ushiwaka was right. It was so much better like this.

It was so much better with Ushiwaka’s fingers gently pushing his mouth closed, sliding down under his chin and over his neck while Ushiwaka murmured gentle instructions and encouragement. The scone was delicious, plain just the way he liked, already decadent in and of itself before the cream was added. Bite after bite he took, ate, savored slowly while Ushiwaka told him the flavors to focus on. Salt. Fat. Sweetness. And the cream, all the cream, rich and delicious and he loved it. 

Then one time he opened his mouth and was surprised.

“Bite,” Ushiwaka urged, so Shirabu did, feeling tartness flood into his mouth, running over the sweet heavy cream. 

It made him moan, teeth cutting through the flesh of the strawberry so he could close his mouth. This was one of his favorite things and Ushiwaka knew it. The only thing that would’ve made it better would’ve been if there had been raspberries or blueberries on the plate, or -

Suddenly the hand in his hair curled, tilting his head back and making him open his mouth in response just before Ushiwaka dove in to take him with a bruising kiss. It was tongue and teeth and hunger and power, overwhelming in a way that pulled even more noises from his mouth. He writhed on the bed, hips twisting in need. The plate shifted. Another berry fell off of it, rolling to press between his side and the sheet. He didn’t care that he was probably squishing it, getting juices on the bed; it was going to get dirty anyhow. Teeth bit his bottom lip and he felt helpless and needy and fully at Ushiwaka’s mercy. 

“Delicious,” Ushiwaka murmured, pulling back and kissing his lips almost gently. 

Shirabu swallowed, trying to catch his breath. He felt Ushiwaka lean back, fingers sliding down his side and picking up the crushed strawberry. Ushiwaka made a disapproving noise and dragged the berry over the bottom of Shirabu’s ribs before lifting it. 

“You should know better than to waste food,” Ushiwaka said. “Open.”

This time there was strawberry mixed in with the taste of cream, and Shirabu bit down without being asked. Ushiwaka’s fingers traced his cheek as he chewed, sliding down his chin and over his chest to his stomach when he swallowed.

“I don’t know why I like watching you eat so much,” Ushiwaka mused, feeding him another berry. “I think because of the way you experience it so fully. Almost makes me jealous when you eat something someone else made, though.”

“You didn’t make the cream?” Shirabu asked, hissing slightly when Ushiwaka pinched his nipple for leaving off the address. 

“No,” Ushiwaka said. “I asked Goshiki to make it last night. For you. Though I didn’t specify exactly how it would be used.”

Shirabu shivered at that, eating another berry, mind racing as he wondered what had been going on in the younger man’s mind. Probably nothing. Could he imagine? It wasn’t like it was a secret that he and Ushiwaka sometimes used food in bed. Well, if it was a secret, it was as much an open secret as the fact that Shirabu wore a collar and sometimes came in with bruises on his wrists or winced when he sat down. But did Goshiki know?

Ushiwaka’s fingers moved and Shirabu felt cool smoothness brush against a nipple. Evidently, the cream wasn’t for Shirabu’s lips alone.

“I think,” Ushiwaka said, “you’ve had enough to eat. My turn.”

The plate was off his chest, and then Ushiwaka picked up the bowl of cream as well, probably setting it to the side. Not that Shirabu had much time to think about it. Not when Ushiwaka’s mouth was back to lick at his cheeks, cleaning up any trace of juice and cream that had slid out while Shirabu was eating. Then his hands were back with the cream, tracing patterns over Shirabu’s chest and shoulders, down along his belly. 

Lips followed fingers, kissing and licking and sucking at the cream and Shirabu’s skin. Shirabu bucked and Ushiwaka’s hand moved to hold his hips down. It was sweet, sweet torture. Ushiwaka liked to bite sometimes. Sometimes he’d just tickle with his tongue, or run his teeth over Shirabu’s collarbone or the bottom of his ribcage. Then fingers were back, teasing skin made sensitive and sticky and tracing down before Ushiwaka moved, standing from the bed. 

Clothing rustled, and Shirabu pulled at the scarves tying him to the bedpost. He wanted to touch what he was sure had just been revealed. Wanted to see, wanted to taste.

But when he was like this, all his desires were shaped by Ushiwaka.

“You are more delicious than anything I’ve ever cooked,” said Ushiwaka, and the gentle adoration in his voice made Shirabu smile. “Time for the main course, though, I think. Or, at least the second.”

It took little urging for Shirabu to move so that Ushiwaka could kneel between his legs. Now at least he could confirm that Ushiwaka’s legs were bare. His chest, too, Shirabu discovered when Ushiwaka pulled one of his legs forward and rested his foot against that bare chest. Fur-lined leather was wrapped around his ankle.

“I think,” Ushiwaka explained as he wrapped a cuff around Shirabu’s other ankle, “that I want to have my meal on full display for me today.”

Shirabu’s cock jolted at that. It was the first time he realized exactly how hard he was. It didn’t help matters when Ushiwaka lay two lengths of ribbon over his chest and then leaned forward, picking them up and doing something with them on the headboard.

A few moments later and Shirabu found out what that something was.

The cuff on one of his ankles was pulled up towards his shoulder, Ushiwaka running hands over his leg to move it into the position he wanted. “Tell me if it’s too much,” he murmured, rubbing the back of Shirabu’s thigh. 

It was too much. His breathing was fast, he knew, and he felt the slight burn as his foot was pulled toward the headboard by the ribbon attached to his cuff. It was too much but perfect, only one limb unrestrained and free.

Soon even that would be taken from him.

Ushiwaka murmured soft words of praise before tying the length of ribbon off in one of the rings on the cuff, then carefully started to pull the other leg up. In the end, Shirabu was left open, ass lifted, legs far enough apart that Ushiwaka could see everything. He was helpless. Ushiwaka could do anything. He loved it.

Cream was dotted down the back of his thighs and left there was Ushiwaka paused. 

“I almost forgot,” Ushiwaka said.

Shirabu was certain he hadn’t.

“I felt like giving myself a present today.”

That was almost terrifying.

The feeling of ribbon being wrapped carefully around his cock and then looped down around his balls proved that his suspicion was justified. It was thick, the same velvet that Ushiwaka used to make his collars. Shirabu loved it but almost hated the fact that it was now woven up his cock, not too tight but tight enough with the last loops that it would hinder any orgasm while it was on.

He wasn’t even aware he was making a sound until Ushiwaka leaned forward and tapped his lips. “Aren’t you going to be a good present for me, Shirabu?”

“Yes,” Shirabu answered, tongue sliding out to try and taste his lover’s fingers. “Yes, sir. I’ll be so good.”

“That you will.”

Hands were on the back of his knees, pushing him further as Ushiwaka’s mouth came down to attack the cream on his thighs. Shirabu couldn’t help whining with that. His thighs got so sensitive. Ushiwaka knew that, knew that the bites he was leaving now would be too much too early in the game but that they were perfect now when all Shirabu wanted was attention only a few inches away. He didn’t get it, though. Instead, Ushiwaka leaned back, fingers sliding around to trace Shirabu’s sides and over his hips, pulling at his asscheeks and pinching, slipping over the skin of his legs and up to tickle his feet. It drove Shirabu nuts, had him pulling at his bonds, squirming on the bed while Ushiwaka played him, tickling and teasing every spot he knew would get a reaction. 

It pulled words from Shirabu’s mouth, pleas that came too early too fast. Ushiwaka just chuckled and kissed the crease where thigh met asscheek. “You’re so needy today,” he murmured. “It’s almost like you haven’t been properly taken care of lately. My fault, I suppose. Perhaps I should fuck you, nice and deep, fully satisfy this delicious body of yours.”

“Please,” Shirabu gasped. “Please. Something.”

“Something?” Ushiwaka murmured. Fingertips pressed against the ribbon around the top of Shirabu’s cock, pulling down, and then hot lips wrapped around his tip. 

It made Shirabu keen, voice growing louder when a tongue pressed into his slit and Ushiwaka sucked hard. He bucked up as best he could, fingers clutching air. Fuck. It was too much, too much and not enough and he might’ve gotten off from that suck alone if he hadn’t been all wrapped up.

“Mmm,” Ushiwaka murmured. “Almost better than the clotted cream. Or maybe it is better? Perhaps I should try mixing the two?”

“It’ll get messy,” Shirabu protested, and Ushiwaka laughed.

“You’re already a mess, my love. You should see yourself. Red and spotted, covered with my marks. When Goshiki sees you naked, he’ll know. We can tell him about this. Tell him what we did with his cream. Tell him exactly what I’m about to do.”

Shirabu trembled, clenching his ass, anticipation pulling him completely out of his head. He loved, he loved -

Suddenly there was cream being traced over the head of his cock and down, touching on his balls before a slick finger pressed at his rim.

“Sir -”

“Hush, baby. I have to get my meal ready before I can eat, right?”

Shirabu wanted to laugh at the line but he was too far gone. The finger was pressing in, wiggling in the most delicious way as it eased its way inside. He loved Ushiwaka’s fingers. Loved the power in them, loved their thickness, loved the skill with which they crafted even the most delicate of dishes. But he loved the way Ushiwaka opened him up the most.

The finger pulled out and left his ass. 

He wanted to whine at that but then the hand was back. This time, though, Ushiwaka slathered the cream down over his asshole, getting it everywhere.

“It’s all going to go in, I think,” Ushiwaka mused. 

It was going to melt, it was going to drip -

Two fingers pressed in this time, twisting and scissoring and opening him up. He knew how to relax. Knew how to take it. Loved it all. The fingers moved in and out, sliding around to pick up more cream before pushing it in, another finger joining them at some point but Shirabu was too far gone to notice when.

He was too far gone in part because Ushiwaka had opted to lean forward and lap at his cock again, sometimes turning his fingers and rubbing against his prostate as he sucked. One part of his mind knew that Shirabu was turning into a gasping whining mess. Only a small part, though. The rest was just trying to keep itself together as desires ran haywire in his body and crashed into cruelty in the form of dark velvet ribbon.

“You’re so beautiful like this, my love. So gone. I want to fuck you now.”

“Please fuck me,” Shirabu gasped. “Please take me, fuck, love, fuck -”

“Ah, but I haven’t finished eating.”

Shirabu groaned as the mouth left his cock and moved to his ass, attacking his hole with a vengeance. He loved being eaten out. It made his toes curl, made him tighten his legs and try to pull himself closer to Ushiwaka’s mouth. Ushiwaka laughed against his skin, sucking hard at the tender skin of his hole and holding his hips with two large hands. 

It was so good. Ushiwaka’s tongue pushed into him as he teased the cream out, licking the inside of his ass like it was the finest dish he’d ever eaten. He’d probably say that it was.

For Shirabu it was an almost painful pleasure, especially when the hands wandered from his hips and over his body again, one moving to tug at his cock. Cruel. Ushiwaka was cruel. Ushiwaka was so fucking good.

“Hmm,” Ushiwaka murmured against his ass, pulling back and kissing his thigh. “I think I got most of it, but some might be in too deep. I might have to -”

“Please,” Shirabu moaned. “Please, damnit, cock.”

Ushiwaka laughed again, sliding his arms back and around Shirabu’s legs as he leaned closer. “Damnit, cock? I’d ask you to use your words, but I’m not sure you can right now.”

“Fuck, damn, fuck me, give me your cock, fucking.”

Teeth bit into his lower lip. “I should punish you for that, my darling,” Ushiwaka murmured. “You keep forgetting how to speak to me. Forgetting everything. Any other day I’d milk you until you couldn’t find words, spank those beautiful cheeks of yours, not stop until that mask of yours was soaked -”

“Please. Please, sir, please.”

“Fuck you look incredible like this,” Ushiwaka whispered. Then he moved, and there was a click, and words of thanks started to spill out of Shirabu’s mouth before he could even think.

There was laughter against his lips again and a kiss that drank him down, and fingers that pressed in just enough to make sure he was wet with actual lube. Then Ushiwaka was moving, and a thick blunt head was pressing against his rim.

“I should tease you a while longer,” Ushiwaka muttered. “Make you wait. Make you beg more, I love the way you beg my love, so needy and wrecked. All mine.”

Shirabu whined, ass fluttering as he tried to suck his lover’s cock inside of him, hips twisting from side to side to try and get what he wanted. He used as many words as he knew to try and get Ushiwaka to relent, cheeks heating up as all he earned was more of that gentle, loving laughter.

“I love you, Shirabu,” Ushiwaka finally said.

Then he pressed in and drove home. 

Shirabu yelled out from the sudden fullness. It was all pure sensation at this point, sensation and pleasure. Pleasure that was almost painful as Ushiwaka moved slow, dragging himself out before pushing back in, showering Shirabu with kisses the whole time.

He was surrounded by Ushiwaka, by his power, power that held him powerless. He was taken, fucked, opened; a needy gasping mess with words he couldn’t even comprehend anymore. Everything in the world was Ushiwaka. Ushiwaka’s hands curled under his shoulders. Ushiwaka’s bonds wrapped around his ankles and wrists. Ushiwaka’s lips and teeth working over the skin of his shoulder. Ushiwaka’s cock slamming in deep as his lover sped up, fingers curling into Shirabu’s skin, voice showering him with praise and words that stoked his desire, smell, heat, touch, taste, all Ushiwaka. His world was his lover, and it grew tighter and tighter until he wanted to break, until he was held together only by the tightness of dark ribbon wrapped around the base of his cock.

Everything narrowed down to his need. Ushiwaka covered his lips, drank all of the sounds that had dissolved from his words. It was the purest form of communication, really, give and take, take and give, and Shirabu gave everything. 

“Mine,” Ushiwaka murmured. “My baby, my lover, my darling, my Ken... all mine, love you, beautiful beautiful...”

A hand slipped from his shoulder and Shirabu wanted to cry, He sucked in a breath instead, holding it as fingers curled around his cock, stroking it cruelly and thumbing the tip before moving to pull at something that made the pressure suddenly abate.

He couldn’t even find the words for thanks.

“Come for me baby,” Ushiwaka whispered, fingers lightly stroking the oversensitive skin of his cock. Once, twice, another slam of Ushiwaka’s cock against his prostate -

And he was gone.

The world went white.

He could hear someone’s voice, so loud. Felt nothing but pleasure. Pleasure that was sweeter than the sweetest cream, pleasure pushed even higher, almost too high, so sensitive -

And then the cock in his ass pressed in deep and Ushiwaka’s hips stuttered, a low groan escaping his mouth as he nuzzled against Shirabu’s neck. 

“Fuck,” Ushiwaka murmured. 

Shirabu still had no words. He was boneless with pleasure, floating on a cloud from his afterglow. He barely even noticed as Ushiwaka undid the ribbon, carefully lowering his legs to the bed before untying his hands from the headboard.

The scarves were still around his wrists as Ushiwaka gathered him into his arms. Shirabu didn’t care. He was just happy he could touch and hold, snuggling close as he was rocked and hummed to.

He loved this space of time, this gentle languid place where he existed when he was coming down from a scene. Ushiwaka took care of him. Ushiwaka loved him. 

The cuffs came off of his ankles, and the mask was carefully pulled off of his head, though he kept his eyes closed. Fingers picked at the knots around his wrists. Ushiwaka kissed the skin where the scarves had been, rubbing to make sure there was no damage. 

“I love you,” Ushiwaka murmured again, tilting his head back and kissing him again.

“Yes,” Shirabu finally said. “Yes. I love you too.”

Ushiwaka sighed, content, and hugged him close.

After a bit, Shirabu blinked his eyes opened and looked at the time. “Wow,” he murmured.

“I would agree with you, yes,” Ushiwaka said, laughing.

“I mean, like - we open in thirty minutes and I’m still -”

“Mine,” Ushiwaka said.

Shirabu was recovered enough to pat his shoulder just a little too hard. “Go clean me up since you got me all dirty.”

“Alright,” Ushiwaka replied. He was still laughing as he carried Shirabu into the shower.

Shirabu really loved his laugh.

~~~~~~~

They were a down with only a few minutes to spare. One of his waiters was manning the front in case of early-bird customers. Only one so far, though, more than manageable. Shirabu felt bonelessly refreshed. No marks were visible, his wrists were not bruised. His lower back ached a bit, but Ushiwaka only felt that meant that he needed to reach out and rub it from time to time as they walked into the kitchen.

“Shirabu-san! Ushiwaka-san!” Goshiki yelled, standing up straight and turning toward them with a smile on his face. His eyes widened as he looked Shirabu over.

It made him wonder what Goshiki was seeing, and why his cheeks were so red. Shirabu narrowed his eyes, frowning as he discovered a new determination to carve out space during the break to at least start their much-needed conversation.

“Good morning, Goshiki,” Shirabu said, winking at him.

The blush deepened and Goshiki squeaked, turning around and getting back to his work. 

“You shouldn’t tease innocents,” Kawanishi called out.

Shirabu shot him a look, then nodded as Ushiwaka moved to go take over at his station. “Don’t be rude,” he murmured, walking over to his friend. Reaching out he moved Kawanish’s face so that he could see the scrape. “What the heck? You look like shit.”

“Yeah, and you look well fucked,” Kawanishi replied, fortunately only loud enough for Shirabu to hear. “Go Cart accident. We got a little rough last night.”

“A little rough, eh?” Shirabu murmured.

Groaning, Kawanishi shot him a look that made Shirabu smile and relax. If Kawanishi and Reon wanted their relationship kept a secret it was their business. Goodness knew there was enough drama from everyone else’s floating around. 

“You gonna be alright to work tonight?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Kawanishi replied. 

“Good.”

“Shirabu-san!” called a voice. 

Turning, he saw it was one of the waiters. “Ah, duty calls,” he murmured, waving at Kawanishi.

The waiter bounced a bit, fingers twisting. “Sorry,” he muttered. “You have a visitor, though.”

Raising an eyebrow Shirabu walked out after him, trying to ignore the twinge he got every time he moved. There was a man waiting at the front with a paper in his hand. Shirabu wondered if it was a solicitor of some kind.

He really didn’t have time for someone trying to sell him something. Not this morning.

“Hello,” he said, being polite and greeting the stranger with an outstretched hand. “I'm Shirabu, the manager. How may I help you?”

“Shirabu-san?” the man replied, reaching out and slowly nodding. “Ah yes. I remember you.”

The man did look familiar, actually, now that he thought about it - dark hair and eyes, relaxed look on his face, hair a little shorter than Shirabu recalled -

“Kunimi,” the man said. “Kunimi Akira. Hopefully, I haven’t come at a bad time.”

“Ah,” Shirabu replied. “Number thirteen.”

Kunimi inclined his head. “Yes.”

Making a thoughtful noise Shirabu accepted the resume Kunimi handed it and scanned it over as he spoke. “As I’m sure you can tell, we’re about to open for lunch, hmm.” He liked what he saw on the sheet in front of him. Liked the ambition Kunimi was showing in his actions. The ache at the base of his spine reminded him how much he really did want someone else to help manage the workload, especially on mornings where Kawanishi had gotten himself too banged up to show his face in public.

Well, there went his break.

Nibbling his bottom lip he said, “Can you come back at two? Lunch will probably be busy.”

“I can,” Kunimi said. “Would it be possible for me to have some lunch? I’d like to get some exposure to the restaurant. I only learned about it last night.”

Shirabu nodded, glancing at the list of reservations before turning to the waiter who’d brought him over. “Can you seat him in the bar?”

“Sure!” the man said, flashing a friendly smile.

“Thank you,” Shirabu replied. He nodded to Kunimi then moved to take over from the waiter who had been watching the front for him, looking up to see the arrival of the first party of the day.

It was going to be busy, but he really did feel so much better.

Well-fucked, indeed.


	10. Strawberry Shortcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaaah life has been crazy, studying languages is hard... but :) hopefully this is an acceptable offering ^_^

“Shirabu!” Semi gasped, voice quiet enough to be a whisper but full of energy unusual for the other man.

Shirabu leaned on his elbow and glanced at the man coming behind him as he stood at his podium. “You’re early,” he said. Lunch was almost over.

“Do you know who we have sitting in the bar?” Semi asked, again with that underlying excitement that Shirabu didn’t expect.

He glanced over. Not many people were there other than Kunimi, who had been sitting in a booth the entire lunchtime, slowly eating his way through an appetizer and meal. Now he was enjoying a dessert - creme brulee, if Shirabu was right. Of course, most of the time had been spent not eating but observing.

Shirabu knew. He’d been observing the other man right back. Still, none of that explained Semi’s excitement.

A hand slipped down in front of him and snatched up Kunimi’s resume. “He wants to work here?” Semi whispered. “I never knew he worked in the restaurant business. Ah, you have to hire him. That would be amazing. Wow, some of these places look really -”

“I know,” Shirabu said, tugging the resume out of Semi’s hands and then glancing at the two parties in the waiting area to make sure they weren’t disturbed. Kunimi’s resume boasted not only a few high-quality Japanese restaurants but also American ones in New York and Los Angeles. In addition to Japanese and English, he spoke Mandarin, Korean, French, and Malay. His degree was in business with a focus in restaurant management. Technically he was more highly qualified for the job than Kawanishi or even Shirabu himself. That didn’t explain Semi’s interest, though.

“Wow, he worked at The Heights? Akaashi used to go there when he and Kuroo lived in New York. He sent me pictures,” Semi said, peering over Shirabu’s shoulder and running a finger down the page. “I’d heard he was coming back here. His boyfriend just got a job at Kageyama’s law firm, does something with international law.”

“Kageyama?” Shirabu asked, trying to place why that name was so familiar.

“Yeah, he was Karasuno’s nasty setter - you know, the one that paired up with Hinata, Oikawa’s boyfriend?”

“Ah,” Shirabu said, making a face as he remembered the big match they’d lost against Karasuno his second year. They’d fared a bit better in some of their practice matches against them his senior year, but it was still a bit of a sore spot for him. “And so he’s a friend of yours?”

“Kunimi? Ah, no, not yet. I mean, I’d like to be,” Semi said. “Akaashi’s talked about interviewing him.”

“As a restaurant manager?” Shirabu asked, growing more and more confused.

Semi blinked at him. “What?” he asked, then his eyes widened. “Oh, no! He’s a famous vlogger.”

“Vlogger.”

“Does makeup tutorials and things like that. Definitely has the face for it, have you seen him? He’s one of our favorites, especially after we learned who he really was.”

Staring at him Shirabu wondered if that was a point for or against hiring the man. Then one of the waiters gave a signal and Shirabu turned back to the business at hand. “Speaking of makeup,” he said, “Go fix Kawanishi while I take care of the last of these customers.”

Huffing a bit Semi compiled, and Shirabu called out for the next party.

Vlogger, hmm?

Well, at least that meant his schedule would be flexible. Hopefully.

~~~~~~~~

_[ <<unknown] : Hey Shira-chan! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶_

Shirabu stared at his phone. He was sitting at his desk in his office. He still had a few minutes before Kunimi would be coming in to talk to him, and had planned to use that time to call his references. He wasn’t expecting to get a strange text message out of the blue.

_[ <<Kenma] : gave oiks your # hope u dont mind_

Ah. that made more sense.

**[ >>Oikawa-san] : Hello Oikawa-san.**

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : AH! You know who i am! Good good ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡_

Shirabu raised an eyebrow. Evidently someone liked emojis. Still, upon reflection, he wasn’t exactly shocked.

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : Kunimi is at your place? You’d better be being nice! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ_

Holding back a laugh Shirabu sat back in his chair.

**[ >>Oikawa-san] : Of course I’m being nice. I appreciate the referral, I’m looking over his resume now.**

**[ >>Oikawa-san] : Anything I should know about him?**

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : He’s my incredible kohai and deserves better than to work at your stupid restaurant (๑>◡<๑)_

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : But I suppose it’ll have to do for now._

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : Seriously though he is good._

**[ >>Oikawa-san] : Thank you for your opinions, Oikawa-san.**

_[ <<Oikawa-san] : !!!!! BRAT! ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3_

Laughing Shirabu flipped over and dialed the first number on Kunimi’s list of past employers. He knew the restaurant by reputation, it had always seemed steady in its reviews. The woman who answered the phone was glowing in her praise of the man in question. The two others he was able to reach all said the same thing - reliable, consistent, trustworthy. Shirabu wondered what the catch was.

Maybe he’d show up to work in a dress?

Then again, it wasn’t like that would be a problem here.

There was a knock on his door.

“Come in,” he said, watching Kunimi as he entered.

Normally Shirabu didn’t like giving interviews. He much preferred to try and work with his cooks and waitstaff to make sure they were happy and productive. Their wages were more than competitive and clientele tended to tip well, so that helped. Having friends who worked in all areas of the restaurant helped as well.

Interviewing Kunimi was a whole different ballgame.

The basic questions gleaned about what he expected, all the things he’d heard from Kenma and the others about why Kunimi was here and wanted a job. Kunimi was succinct and to the point. There was an economy to his speech that Shirabu appreciated.

“Would you want to work here over other restaurants?” Shirabu asked.

“Yes,” Kunimi replied.

It was about what Shirabu had expected, direct but not to the point of enthusiasm. Still, he raised an eyebrow, wondering if Kunimi would elaborate.

“Ah,” Kunimi said, “to be honest, I think you could use me. The food is excellent, and your waitstaff is friendly and responsive for the most part - and granted, I haven’t spent much time here. But even still, there are some little things that I think might be polished. Ways to help things run more smoothly. Plus, if I understand correctly, part of what you’re looking for is to be freed up a bit during operational hours?

Tilting his head to the side, Shirabu nodded. “Well, that and I’d like someone to manage catering orders specifically. I don’t see as much of that listed on your resume, but what is there seemed sufficient.”

Kunimi nodded, glancing around. “It’s not hard. I did some time in events planning during school, and I like that type of organization. Adjusting to client demands and all that.”

“I figured,” Shirabu said. “To be honest, I know that at least one of my employees is interested in having you here.”

Looking surprised, Kunimi said, “Oh?”

“Not because of your restaurant work, but because of your vlog?”

“I see. Huh. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

“Not at all,” Shirabu said. “It’s not something I’ve ever really been into myself, but it doesn’t bother me. Well, so long as your fans don’t start camping out in front of the restaurant.”

Kunimi laughed. “Not likely. Most of them aren’t even in Japan, as far as I know. I didn’t think anyone from around here would know - hmm. Interesting.”

“Yes,” Shirabu replied, finding a smile working itself onto his face.

“You know it’s funny. The only mild concern I had about working here was that I’d be surrounded by Shiratorizawa players. Kindaichi even teased me about it until I pointed out he was working with Kageyama.”

Chuckling, Shirabu said, “that was a problem?”

“We have history,” Kunimi said, shrugging.

“I see,” said Shirabu. “So do you think working with your old rivals will be a problem?”

“I don’t think so. Though I might have to show you all what Seijou does better.”

Shirabu liked the humor he saw in Kunimi’s eyes. “I’ll look forward to seeing that, then.”

“You will?”

“I think so, yes. I still need to finalize a couple of things before I can make the official offer, run things by Ushiwaka and such. But I’ll be in touch.”

Kunimi smiled. “Excellent. Looking forward to hopefully working with you,” he said, standing and reaching out a hand.

It wasn’t something he was all that used to, but Shirabu did the same, liking the cool dry feeling of Kunimi’s hand in his own as they shook hands. “Likewise.”

~~~~~~~

Shirabu hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Really, he couldn't have been out for too long - Kawanishi would’ve come in to wake him up if he was in danger of being late -

But it wasn’t Kawanishi who woke him.

It was the feeling of someone’s hand sliding tentatively through his hair.

Shirabu shot up in his seat, ready to glare at the person who had dared touch him without his permission. He met the gaze of a horrified Goshiki.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Shirabu-san, I shouldn’t’ve -”

“You startled me,” Shirabu interrupted, still sleepy enough to be intrigued at the way one of Goshiki’s hands waved in the air. The other was rock-steady, clutching a plate of what looked like - “Is that strawberry shortcake?”

“Ah,” Goshiki said, “Yes?”

Holding out a hand Shirabu waited impatiently for the two seconds it took for Goshiki to process the gesture. When the plate was handed to him he immediately set it down and examined the creation. He felt his cheeks heating slightly as he recognized two of the ingredients and glanced up at Goshiki in suspicion.

The man was now seated on the edge of one of the chairs in front of Shirabu’s desk, hands curled on his knees as he leaned forward. Shirabu could see a sheaf of papers rolled up and stuffed in his back pocket. It made him curious for a moment, but then he was drawn back to Goshiki’s eyes and the terrible intensity they held.

It was different from how Ushiwaka watched him. Ushiwaka’s gaze was all-encompassing, confident, like heat from an oven rolling over his skin. Goshiki’s gaze was sharper, hungrier. Shirabu was fairly certain he’d brought him this dessert on purpose, with at least a decent guess of how Ushiwaka had used the clotted cream he’d prepared the night before. Shirabu didn’t know how he knew about the strawberries, but he wondered. Imagined Ushiwaka giving the leftover strawberries to Goshiki, telling him to make a special dessert for him. The thought of the two of them working together was intoxicating, and Shirabu _wanted._

But for now, he decided, he wanted to seduce.

The dessert was exquisite, two slices of shortcake layered with clotted cream and sliced strawberries, with one whole berry on top. There was a fork to the side but Shirabu ignored it, choosing instead to dip his fingertip in the clotted cream heaped on the top slice of cake. He lapped at it, tongue pressing through the airy lightness of the cream and then sucking the fingertip into his mouth, glancing up at Goshiki to gage his reaction.

He kept a smile from his face at what he saw, letting his eyes drift shut as he savored the taste of the cream. It clung to his tongue with a ghost of its flavor, sweet and smooth. There was a flash of deep red under the cream that made him curious so he dipped his finger again, examining the mixture. “Strawberry jam?” he asked.

“I was curious,” Goshiki whispered.

This time Shirabu did favor him with a smile. “I like it when you’re curious,” he murmured, cleaning his finger with his mouth. The mixture, he noted, was good. Even sweeter with the strawberry jam. He wondered what it would all taste like together, if the sweetness would overpower the tartness of the berries.

Goshiki made a slight sound at that, leaning even closer as Shirabu picked up the berry from atop the desert and sucked the tip into his mouth. It was so hard to decide which to focus on. Biting the end he chewed, enjoying the sharp tang of the strawberry, the texture of its flesh and the tiny seeds.

“Does Ushiwaka know you’re in here?” he asked, watching Goshiki’s face again. He wanted to catalog all his responses, the slight flush to his cheeks, the way his gaze looked down with either shyness or guilt or both, the abrupt nod.

“He sent me in here,” he said. “Said you probably needed proper food too, but that this would do for now.”

Shirabu’s nose scrunched up. Ushiwaka was probably right; he hadn’t really had anything substantial to eat for lunch. “I like this for now,” he said. “If Ushiwaka wants me to eat something else he can bring it to me himself.”

He enjoyed the look of surprise on Goshiki’s face as he winked at him, delighted at the sparkling eyes and impish grin Goshiki showed him once the shock had passed.

“But you should eat properly, right?” Goshiki asked as Shirabu picked up the fork and took a proper bite of the dessert. “You need your energy, after all.

Raising an eyebrow Shirabu swallowed. “And what do you think I need my energy for?” he asked.

“Ah, um,” Goshiki stammered, curling in on himself and ducking his head in an ineffectual attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks. “Well, that is -”

“I suppose I will have to do a lot of running around tonight,” Shirabu mused, slowly devouring the strawberry and cream concoction. “Dealing with all those customers... every one of them wanting nothing but service.”

“Yes,” Goshiki said, swallowing audibly, head bobbing so fast Shirabu worried it would fall off.

“And then after work, hmm. Did you enjoy the movies last night?”

“Yes!”

“Maybe we could do something like that again. Well, unless you had something else in mind.”

“Shirabu-san,” Goshiki whined. He looked like he was almost at his limit - and indeed, a moment later he was reaching back to grab the papers from his back pocket before thrusting him at Shirabu, head bowed. “Here.”

“Please tell me this isn’t another resignation letter,” Shirabu teased, taking the papers curiously. They were printouts, crumpled and rolled, with smudges of what looked like chocolate on the edges. Shaking his head he unrolled the pages, raising an eyebrow as he read the first few lines. “Oh.”

“Please forgive me if it’s too presumptuous,” Goshiki said, voice muffled behind hands that were currently hiding his face.

“Hmm. It’s.... unexpected,” Shirabu replied, sitting back, dessert forgotten as he looked everything over. “You’ve definitely done your homework.”

“Tried, I tried, sir, ah,” Goshiki replied, suddenly looking up with black eyes shining. “I want to be the best sub I can for you, sir!”

Shirabu swallowed, affection for this man mixing with a mild trepidation and awe at the responsibility being placed in his hands. “It’s not a competition, Goshiki,” he murmured. “I don’t want you to push yourself to try and do anything you don’t want to do, especially because you think I want it from you.”

Goshiki looked at him wide-eyed, nodding.

“Same for Ushiwaka, of course. You need to be comfortable with whatever happens - well, I can’t promise you’ll always be physically comfortable, but you know what I mean, right?”

There was another nod. Some of the things on the list in front of him were about what he expected. He tapped his finger on a few of them, noting erasure marks and scribbles as Goshiki had evidently wavered in his assessment. Others seemed firm, though. It made Shirabu hungry for much more than dessert, reading all the things Goshiki thought he was interested in exploring.

“Is it ok?” Goshiki asked. When Shirabu looked up, the dark-haired man was almost bouncing in his seat, fingers twisting around themselves in nervousness.

“Oh yes,” Shirabu breathed out. He glanced down, seeing 'praise kink' marked, and smiled. “It took a lot of courage to do this,” he said. “To be this honest with me. I’m honored you trust me with yourself like this.”

“I trust you,” Goshiki blurted out. “I trust you with everything.”

In that moment Shirabu hated the fact that there was a desk between them. He wanted to go over there and run his fingers through Goshiki’s dark hair, pull his head back, maybe kiss him sweetly for the admission, maybe devour his mouth and take all that was offered.

Later. Later.

“Thank you,” he murmured, not trusting himself to speak anything more than that. He looked back down at the list, flipping to the back page and raising an eyebrow at one of the entries. “Lingerie, but not - what is this here?”

“Oh, um,” Goshiki said, looking to the side. “I, if you don’t want to that’s fine, just, I think it’d be - if you wore it -”

“You want me to wear lingerie while you submit to me?” Shirabu asked, more intrigued by Goshiki’s hesitant little nod than the idea of wearing such an outfit himself. It was more Semi’s wheelhouse than his own, but if Goshiki was into it, he could see some merit in the idea. “Hmm. Just me, or Ushiwaka as well?”

Goshiki’s eyes went wide and he tilted his head to the side, shrugging.

Chuckling, Shirabu said, “I wonder if we could get Ushiwaka into a corset.”

The strangled noise Goshiki made almost covered the sound of the door opening and Ushiwaka stepping into the room, plate in hand. “Did I hear my name?” he asked, walking over. He pushed the dessert out of the way and placed the plate square in front of Shirabu, looking curiously at the papers in Shirabu’s hands.

“Yes,” Shirabu answered, watching Goshiki for any sign of inordinate distress. “We were just talking about the possibility of dressing you up. Perhaps in something soft and lacy.

Ushiwaka raised an eyebrow. “I have to admit, I have never really thought about that possibility. I know several people who seem to enjoy it, however.” He looked from Shirabu to Goshiki, face thoughtful. “Would this please you?”

Goshiki shrugged.

“It is worth considering. I am not opposed to the attempt.”

“It’s just an idea,” Goshiki said.

Shirabu smiled. “It’s alright to ask for what you want. We won’t judge you. Doesn’t mean we’ll be interested in everything you are - and you don’t have to be comfortable or interested in everything we do, either - but it's safe to talk about it.”

“Indeed,” Ushiwaka said. “Although I wasn’t aware we were going to have this conversation right now.”

“Oh, that’s my fault,” Goshiki said, “I”m sorry, Ushiwaka-san.”

Shrugging, Shirabu eyed the sandwich on the plate in front of him and then glanced at the pages. “Do you mind if I show him?”

Goshiki shook his head, hands clasped tightly in front of him.

“What is this?” Ushiwaka said, taking the pages and then sitting in the chair next to Goshiki as he started to read.

Glancing at the clock, Shirabu picked up the sandwich in front of him. “Do you mind if I ask you if you’ve ever done this before?”

Goshiki looked up at him, then shook his head. “I mean, I’ve had sex,” he muttered. “And I’ve thought about it a lot. Done some research. Is that bad?”

“No,” Shirabu said, shaking his head and watching him closely. “Means I can teach you everything just the way I like. Well, we.”

Ushiwaka’s lips twitched at that, but he was engrossed in the pages he held in his hands.

“And I want to make sure that you know that these things aren’t all we want from you.”

Dark eyes opened wide at that, and Goshiki said, “You mean there’s more?”

“What?” Shirabu said, worried a second at the reaction. “Ah, I mean - I meant I don’t - we don’t - just want you for sex.”

That felt awkwardly blunt, but it seemed to do the trick. Goshiki was looking down again, but Shirabu had caught a glimpse of wonder in his eyes before he ducked his head.

“Thank you for sharing this with us,” Ushiwaka said, looking over at Goshiki.

There was another shy nod and Goshiki said, “It’s - I’m happy to.”

Ushiwaka leaned over, fingers brushing Goshiki’s cheek and gently lifting his chin so they could look each other in the eye. “I am very proud of you,” he said, gaze lingering a moment before he let go and leaned back in his chair to look at the list again.

Goshiki’s lips parted and his eyes widened.

Shirabu couldn’t help the smile from forming on his face. Both of these men were incredible. They made him feel so many warm and wonderful things. He looked down and took another bite of his sandwich before checking the time again. “We’ll have to finish this conversation later. The two of you probably need to be getting back to the kitchen.”

“You will finish your sandwich before you go out,” Ushiwaka said, frowning at him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you skipping lunch.”

“Yes, yes,” Shirabu said, waving his hand and suppressing a smile. “I had a meeting right after we finished that I had to get ready for.”

“Still.”

“I’ll help you make sure he eats properly, Ushiwaka-san!” Goshiki said, beaming at him.

Ushiwaka considered. “Yes, that would be acceptable.”

Shirabu narrowed his eyes, relenting when Goshiki’s smile fell.

“That is,” Goshiki said, “If it’s ok with you, Shirabu-san.”

Huffing, Shirabu chuckled. “It’s fine. You both seem to like watching me eat so much anyhow.”

Ushiwaka sent Goshiki a look at that, and he shrugged in reply.

Laughing, Shirabu said, “Go. Get out of my office, both of you. You’re distracting me from my food.”

Nodding, Ushiwaka stood, laying the pages on the corner of Shirabu’s desk. “We will go then. Enjoy your food. We will see you tonight.”

The words were simple, but the look in Ushiwaka’s eyes as he said them made a shiver run down Shirabu’s back. “Looking forward to it,” he murmured, glancing at Goshiki. The man was looking between them in awe and trepidation.

It made Shirabu hungry all over again. He’d satisfy that hunger later.

For now, he’d just finish his sandwich.

It was a poor substitute, but he could be patient, especially when the reward offered at the end of his waiting was so deliciously sweet.


	11. Cotton Candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH sorry this took so long to update. Hopefully the contents of this chapter will make up for it though ;)

“The boss wants you in the back,” Kawanishi said.

Shirabu frowned at him. He was tired, the clock was moving far too slow, and people were being annoying. 

“I’m your boss,” he griped, annoyed that Kawanishi just waved him away from the podium and back to the kitchen. Complaining wouldn’t really help anything. Realistically, it was almost a relief to get away from the customers at the front - not that they were being rude, it was just that Shirabu was tired and there were things he’d much rather be doing. Things he’d been daydreaming about while dealing with families and gushing newlyweds and people out on the town.

Pushing the door open to the kitchen, he saw two of the people he’d much rather be doing standing far too close for comfort. Something was up.

Raising an eyebrow he walked over to Ushiwaka. “Kawanishi said you wanted to speak to me?”

The look he got in return made him almost forget about all the other people in the room besides Ushiwaka and Goshiki. Fidgeting a bit he glanced over at the younger man. Goshiki was looking curiously between Ushiwaka and Shirabu, almost adorable in his ignorance of whatever was going on. At least he and Shirabu shared something. Hopefully, Ushiwaka would relieve their curiosity soon.

“You have street clothes with you, correct Goshiki?” Ushiwaka asked.

Goshiki nodded.

Street clothes. That wasn't what Shirabu had expected, though he supposed it would be useful. In his fantasies, he’d wanted Goshiki without any clothing except that which he put on him - but Ushiwaka seemed to have something else in mind.

Whatever it was, it was probably something interesting. 

“What are we doing?” Shirabu asked, impatience getting the best of him.

A slight twitch of Ushiwaka’s lips made him want to smile in return. “You will see,” Ushiwaka said. “Right now, go up and change into something. Casual clothes. Something that will keep you warm.”

Outside. Where would they go this late?

Well, realistically it wasn’t late - the restaurant wasn’t even closed yet - “Right now?”

Ushiwaka raised an eyebrow.

Shirabu wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Trust. Ushiwaka had a surprise, and he wanted him to trust him.

Nodding, Shirabu started to turn towards the back door.

“Ah, Goshiki? You can go with him. You can change in our apartment, leave your things there.”

And there was Ushiwaka asking for trust from him. He glanced back, lips curling into something soft as he met his lover’s eyes. He didn’t know what Ushiwaka had planned, but he was relatively sure it was something he would enjoy.

~~~~~

Goshiki was wearing a button down royal blue shirt that contrasted nicely with his dark hair and pale skin. Shirabu had let him get dressed in the bathroom, fretting for only a few moments over his own outfit before deciding on a tan turtleneck sweater and jeans. 

Ushiwaka was waiting for them downstairs, changed into a dark black polo that Shirabu had bought him for some holiday. It was warm enough he didn’t worry and form fitting enough that he could appreciate the muscles of his favorite body.

“Ok,” Shirabu said. “So we’re down here and ready.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say you sound curious,” Ushiwaka said.

“I am, Ushiwaka-san!” Goshiki said, almost bouncing by Shirabu’s side. It was distracting. He wanted to reach out and hold the younger man’s arm to keep him steady. It wasn’t, of course, for other reasons - no, not at all.

Ushiwaka was amused. Shirabu could see it in his eyes, in the fondness of his glance at Goshiki. “Let’s just go,” he said, offering his arm to Shirabu as he turned toward the door. 

It was both annoying and comforting, playing these little games. Shirabu assumed that Ushiwaka would tell him if he pressed, but that would spoil the fun. Fun he needed, if he was honest with himself, though he’d imagined something a bit more carnal as relaxation this evening. He might still get that.

Later.

It was only after he saw the lights of the festival that he realized what Ushiwaka was doing.

“Oh,” he said, gazing in wonder at the rows of colored bulbs lighting up the different stalls. 

The sight filled him with wonder, made him feel like a child again. He felt Ushiwaka’s hand on his arm squeeze gently and looked up at his boyfriend with a smile. The hours they worked meant that they almost never got to attend festivals. They’d always enjoyed them however, enjoyed the relative anonymity and the playfulness of this space of celebration and laughter. Ushiwaka was quite skilled at winning prizes, too. Some of the things he’d acquired over the years still had a home in the corner of their bedroom, pulled out when Shirabu was feeling overly sentimental.

The idea that Ushiwaka wanted to bring Goshiki with them -

That in and of itself was enough to say to Shirabu how invested he was in making this work. In meeting Shirabu’s desires, even if he didn’t always share or understand them. It was clear from the way Ushiwaka turned to look at Goshiki, though, that his interest in the other man wasn’t wholly carnal. There was affection in that gaze, the same softness as earlier. Then again, with the way Goshiki’s eyes were shining, it wasn’t hard.

“A festival? You’re bringing us to a festival?” Goshiki said, whipping his head around to stare at Ushiwaka.

Nodding solemnly, Ushiwaka said, “They’re open late tonight. A friend let me know, and I thought the two of you would enjoy it.”

“It’s awesome!”

Shirabu smiled at Goshiki’s enthusiasm, leaning into Ushiwaka’s embrace. “It is,” he whispered, happier than he knew how to express.

Then again, Ushiwaka knew him well enough that he didn’t need to say how happy he was. 

They walked through the stalls, distracted by the music and lights. There weren’t many kids around at this time of night. Most of the people walking around were just couples out for a stroll. A few gave Ushiwaka and him strange looks, but Shirabu ignored them. No one was going to ruin his mood tonight.

“What do you want to do first?” Ushiwaka asked him.

Pondering a moment, Shirabu spotted an area with tables and food stalls. A rumble in his stomach reminded him that he’d worked all night without eating. “Ah, cotton candy and takoyaki,, ” he said. It wasn’t exactly the most nutritious of meals, but he knew Ushiwaka would indulge him.

He wasn’t disappointed.

He was, however, surprised to see a familiar face when they got closer to stalls. “Kenma?”

Kenma was standing with a caramel apple in his hand. He waved at Shirabu, then glanced over to where Bokuto was in line for more food. Kuroo and Akaashi were there as well, arguing over something. Akaashi was holding a large pink stuffed dinosaur.

It seemed strange for Kenma to be separate from them, but Shirabu didn’t know the four of them well enough to know for sure. 

Squeezing Ushiwaka’s arm he let go and walked over to his friend. “I didn’t expect you to be here,” he murmured.

Kenma nodded, frowning at his apple.

Ushiwaka was moving to take his place in line, Goshiki with him. Shirabu trusted that Ushiwaka would know what to order him, so he turned his attention back to Kenma. He wasn’t sure how to ask what was wrong without overstepping his boundaries, so he just waited, looking over at Kuroo and Akaashi. 

Kuroo glanced his way, worry and mild exasperation on his face. Looking at Kenma Shirabu saw his lips set firmly in a line.

“Pink dinosaurs are not something I would expect from Akaashi,” Shirabu said.

“They have children on the brain,” Kenma said, scowling at the apple in his hand. “It’s for Bokuto’s niece, actually. Well, the next time she visits.”

Shirabu nodded. The remark clued him in a bit about why Kenma was upset, but not the details. Maybe he’d find out later.

“Shirabu!” Bokuto said, walking forward carrying two plastic trays. “I didn’t expect to see you guys here.”

Kenma raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who invited Ushiwaka, Bo.”

Bokuto flushed. “Well yeah, but still - that didn’t mean we’d necessarily run into them, Kenma.”

Looking from one to the other, Shirabu frowned. So evidently the issue wasn’t just between Kenma and the other two, but with Bokuto as well. Silence stretched between them until Kenma sighed.

“You can join us if you want,” he said, glancing at Shirabu. 

On one level it wasn’t how he’d expected to start his date, but it felt like Kenma was doing more asking than offering. He didn’t really mind. It would be nice to be in the presence of people who wouldn’t care about the fact that they were a gay couple in the process of becoming polyamorous with Goshiki. Plus, he cared about Kenma.

Being friends with him was easy, and this wasn’t too much to ask. So he nodded, following Bokuto to one of the tables and sliding in next to Kenma. Ushiwaka came over and joined him, followed by a heavily-laden Goshiki.

“Wine?” Shirabu asked, spying the glasses in Ushiwaka’s hands.

“It seemed appropriate.”

Shirabu wasn’t sure what was appropriate about wine that would be served at a fairground, but he let it pass. Goshiki was sliding in across from him, chattering at Bokuto. Kenma had set his caramel apple down on a paper basket in front of him, getting a gaming device out of his pocket. Bokuto glanced at it worriedly as he continued to talk to Goshiki, excitement in his voice as they discussed desserts.

Ushiwaka sat next to Goshiki, pushing a basket of takoyaki and a glass of white wine at Shirabu. The takoyaki looked delicious, covered in bonito flakes and yuzu sauce just like he liked. He poked a hole in each of the six balls in front of him. The last time he’d had them he’d burnt his tongue. He most definitely didn’t want to burn his tongue tonight. 

Wine didn’t seem like the best accompaniment to the meal but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. He was eating octopus, after all, and octopus was a fish. Chuckling to himself he looked over at Kenma, offering him the extra toothpick.

Shrugging, Kenma accepted.

Sliding in next to Goshiki, Kuroo gasped. “I can’t believe you’re going to eat a stranger’s food over ours!”

Kenma made a face. “It’s the same food,” he groused. “Not like Bokuto cooked it.”

Still, there was an edge to the teasing between them. Shirabu looked over at Ushiwaka, who shrugged. He didn’t know what was wrong either. Looking at his boyfriend made him warm inside, though, even if the tension between his new friends reminded him of the fight they’d had. Only Goshiki seemed unaware of the problem.

Shirabu watched as Ushiwaka turned and listened to the younger man ramble on about pie crust. If Shirabu was sitting there, Ushiwaka would probably be rubbing his back. From the way Goshiki looked back at Ushiwaka Shirabu wondered if he was doing just that. There, there was a fond little smile exchanged between them. It made Shirabu’s heart swell.

“Things going well, I take it?” Kenma murmured, spearing a takoyaki ball.

Nodding, Shirabu followed suit. They should be cool enough to eat by now. “This - Ushiwaka arranged it. It’s a bit of a date, I guess you could say.”

Frowning, Kenma said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.”

Shaking his head Shirabu took a bite and chewed carefully. It was still a bit hotter than he liked, but that was alright. The flavors burst on his tongue, citrusy and tangy and savory. Swallowing he replied, “It’ll be alright. We were going to eat anyway, and this way I get to watch them. Plus you, ah.”

Kenma spared him any awkwardness by nodding. “I’ll tell you later,” he said.

Kuroo shot them a suspicious look, but let it go. 

The wine was bad. Not awful, but more sour than he would have liked, especially with the taste of takoyaki. Goshiki didn’t seem to notice. He’d distracted Kuroo with talk about some science fiction show, involving the four at the far end of the table in animated discussion. Neither Shirabu or Ushiwaka really watched those type of shows.

They might have to start.

Goshiki could upend their lives. Change their routines. Fill gaps between them they hadn’t even known existed. It was turning into so much more than what he’d originally thought about, but he couldn’t say he really minded. It was less an invasion and more, well.

Colors he hadn’t even known were missing in their lives.

Before he knew it the glass of wine was gone and the tray of takoyaki was empty. Kenma had only eaten two of them, but that was fine. The other man had picked up his apple and was finally eating it, much to the relief of his husband. Whatever was going on between them would be fine.

“Cotton candy,” Shirabu said, frowning at Ushiwaka.

The smile the other man shot him was indulgent. He could feel a slight buzz from the alcohol, not enough to really affect him but enough to know he might want another glass later. 

“Cotton candy,” Ushiwaka agreed. 

“I want blue!” said Goshiki.

“It’ll turn your tongue blue,” Shirabu said, sighing with mild exasperation.

Goshiki stuck his tongue out in response. Kuroo was laughing at them. Bokuto too. Shirabu didn’t really care. He wanted to taste that tongue, get onto Goshiki for acting like a brat, fall into him. Later.

It took a moment to notice that even Kenma was laughing, a soft quiet huff that made Shirabu smile.

“You know what we should do now?” Kuroo asked.

“What?” asked Goshiki

“Bumper cars!”

Shirabu made a face, scowling further when Kuroo cracked up and pointed at him. “What?” he asked.

“You - you both - you have setter face!”

Looking at Kenma Shirabu raised an eyebrow. “Setter face?”

“Don’t ask,” Kenma replied, sighing.

“Kuroo-san has an unfortunate habit of failing to realize that our expressions of disgust should be taken seriously instead of joked about,” Akaashi said, gathering the empty trays from the table. 

“Aww, Akaashi!” Bokuto said. “Don’t be mean to Kuroo!”

“Wipe your fingers before you get sauce on the toy, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi replied, walking over to the trash.

Kenma tensed his fingers around his game before pushing up from the table. Shirabu followed, glancing back at Ushiwaka to make sure he knew what was going on. His boyfriend just nodded, resting a hand on Goshiki’s shoulder as the younger man talked excitedly with Kuroo and Bokuto before they all got up from the table.

Shirabu and Kenma wandered ahead of the others, Kenma focused playing his game. His quiet distress worried Shirabu a bit, but he could be patient. As they came close to the bumper cars Shirabu saw a small fountain next to it and tugged at Kenma’s shirt to see if he wanted to go that way. 

Looking up, Kenma nodded, pocketing his game as they walked to the benches in the back. 

“Thank you,” Kenma said. “I probably should’ve stayed home tonight.”

Shirabu nodded, watching as the others walked past the fountain. Bokuto glanced over at them, but Akaashi pulled at him on past. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” he said.

“No. I think, ah. I think it’d be good to talk to someone about it? Someone neutral. Right now it’s all curled up in my head. I know what I’m going to choose in the end, but that doesn’t make it any less complicated.”

“It?” Shirabu prompted.

Tilting his head to the side, Kenma sighed. “One of the waitresses at Bokuto’s restaurant is pregnant. It’s unplanned, she’s young and not really ready to have a kid.”

Shirabu nodded, waiting for more explanation.

“Bokuto wants to adopt the kid.”

For a moment Shirabu was confused. “Is it - it’s not -”

“What?” Kenma asked, eyes widening in sudden comprehension. “Oh fuck no. Bokuto wouldn’t know what to do with a vagina if it bit him in the ass. No, she doesn’t know who the father is. So in one sense Bokuto just wants to support her because he thinks she has a great future ahead of her. Plus, he’s always wanted kids - he grew up in a household full of siblings and cousins, and we have enjoyed taking care of his nieces.”

“But?” Shirabu asked.

“But I’m not sure I’m ready,” Kenma confessed, voice small. “Akaashi and Kuroo both like the idea. Kuroo loves kids too, and he’d be home sometimes if he’s not traveling, so he’d be able to help take care of the kid. Akaashi - well, he’s working a lot, but I know the idea of having children makes him happy, especially since his own family has been so cold to him the past few years. He’s barely even seen his sister’s kids. The truth is, though, I’m the one who’s home all the time.”

“Working.”

Kenma shrugged. “Yes, working - but my job is freelance, and I set my own hours. We also don't really need my income as much, what with how successful the restaurant has been the past few years. We’re actually making a profit now. It makes logical sense for me to be the one taking care of a child when we have one.”

Leaning back, Shirabu pondered that statement. “It makes logical sense, but is it what you want?”

“I don’t know,” whispered Kenma.

It was hard. Shirabu couldn’t imagine having to face that question. He and Ushiwaka had brushed on the possibility of children, but only as a discussion for many years in the future. They had too many other things to deal with - the restaurant consumed all of their time, and now they were complicating the matter by adding Goshiki to the mix. “I’m glad neither of us can get pregnant accidentally,” he muttered.

Kenma laughed. “That would be inconvenient, wouldn't it,” he mused. “At least we have the luxury of deciding if we want children, without - well.”

“Yeah.”

Silence stretched between them as Shirabu watched the water flow down over the fountain’s sides.

“I’ll say yes, eventually,” Kenma said. “I just -” 

“Feel rushed?” Shirabu asked.

Nodding, Kenma sat, staring down at empty hands.

That, Shirabu could relate to. This whole thing with Goshiki - well, it had been building ever since he started working with them, but it felt like everything had come all in a rush, ever since Kenma’s birthday party. Was he making the right choice here? Was he being respectful to both Ushiwaka and himself, as well as Goshiki?

He thought about the younger man’s smile, the way his eyes had lit up when he was talking to Bokuto earlier. His hands as they waved through the air when he talked, the soft smile on Ushiwaka’s face as he listened to the others ramble on.

It might have been rushed, but Shirabu was glad they were doing it.

“They need to be comfortable with whatever you decide, and however you decide,” Shirabu said. “Communicate, right?”

Lifting his chin Kenma pursed his lips, nodding slowly. “Yes,” he said. “Yes. It’s not like this is the most complicated thing we’ve ever negotiated between us, after all. I think I just want to be extra sure, this time. Once we adopt a child, there’s no going back. They will become the most important thing in our lives, I think. Someone precious, and helpless, someone who relies on us for everything.”

There was the smallest of smiles on his face.

“Someone wonderful?” Shirabu asked, matching Kenma’s small smile as his friend looked over at him. 

“I think, yes,” Kenma said. “I think they’d have to be, with Bokuto as a father. And Akaashi, and Kuroo - oh wow. We’ll have to come up with new things for them to call us, won’t they - we can't all be dad.”

Shirabu laughed. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he said. “Or the kid will. I knew a friend who was dead set on being called mommy because she thought it was classic. To this day her daughter still calls her momo.”

“Mother peach?” asked Kenma, chuckling. “Kids.”

They laughed for a moment, sitting back and watching the sky above. Strings of colored lights were hung at angles above them, making Shirabu start to ponder about holiday decorations for the restaurant. He hoped Kawanishi was handling things alright. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it dozens of times before, but Shirabu still worried.

“You’re frowning.”

Blinking, Shirabu said, “Sorry. Thinking about work.”

“Ushiwaka will get onto you,” Kenma teased, voice deadpan but eyes crinkled at the corners. “I should probably return you to him soon.”

“I’m sure they’re having fun at the bumper cars,” Shirabu replied. “Not really my thing.”

“Mine either.”

It was peaceful sitting here like this, a few feet removed from the sounds of laughing children and clanging games. Close enough to soak up the ambiance, but not too close. Restful. Shirabu normally found that restful place in Ushiwaka’s arms, but being with Kenma was relaxing as well.

“Are you feeling better?” Shirabu asked, looking at his friend.

“Yes,” Kenma said. “Thank you.”

Shirabu nodded.

“I think - well. I know better now, what I want. As opposed to what they want me to want.”

Chuckling, Shirabu said, “Same thing?”

“But it makes a difference for it to be mine.”

“Yes,” Shirabu mused, “I know what you mean.”

Above the noise of the crowd, Shirabu heard a cry of “Shirabu-san! Did you see - ack!” and winced, shaking his head. 

“I’m concerned my new boyfriend won’t have much of a volume control.”

“Have you heard my husband,” Kenma said dryly. “Kuroo too, when he’s being obnoxious. Although...”

“Yes?”

The smirk on Kenma’s face was downright filthy. “There are times when it's rather... satisfying?”

Images of Goshiki spread-eagle on their bed rushed through Shirabu’s mind, of having him tied up and blindfolded while hot wax dripped pretty patterns on his pale skin. The sounds Goshiki would make - well. “Satisfying, hmm?”

“Oh, yes,” Kenma replied.

At some point, he and Kenma would have to compare notes on that subject. Another time, though. Perhaps one with liquor involved, and a computer handy for internet searches.

Tilting his head to the side, Kenma asked, “Is that going well, by the way?”

“Yes. I’m hoping for some progress tonight.”

“Well, it won’t happen while you’re here with me.”

Chuckling, Shirabu nodded. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, pushing up from the bench and stretching. “Coming?”

Shaking his head, Kenma pulled his game out of his pocket. “I think I’ll stay here for a while. Send Akaashi though? I doubt he’s playing bumper cars, and he’s probably bored out of his skull since Semi couldn’t join us.”

“Alright.”

Humming along with the festive music in the air Shirabu walked past the fountain and down to the bumper cars. Ushiwaka and Akaashi were standing by the low railing surrounding the slab where the cars were crashing into each other, heads turned toward each other as they talked. Ushiwaka was holding two cotton candies, one blue and one pink.

Shirabu smiled, doing his best to be quiet as he snuck up behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“I agree, his treatment of french cuisine - Shirabu?” said Ushiwaka, turning and peering down at him questioningly before returning his smile. “I have your cotton candy,”

“So I see,” replied Shirabu, allowing his boyfriend to slide a hand around his back and pull him up next to him. “I’m assuming that mine is the pink one.”

“Yes. Goshiki already chose to partake of the blue.”

Taking the paper handle of the pink cotton candy Shirabu leaned against Ushiwaka, looking up at Akaashi. The other man was pressing his fingers together, a slight frown on his face as he looked back the way Shirabu had come.

“Is Kenma alright?” Akaashi asked, the slightest trace of nervousness threading through his tone.

“He’s fine, Akaashi-san,” Shirabu murmured. Grey-green eyes met his and widened in surprise, then Akaashi looked down. Continuing, Shirabu said, “I think he just wanted some time apart from the crowd. He asked for you, though. He’s back by the fountain.“

Akaashi started to push away from the railing before he caught himself. “Ah, can you tell Kuroo and Bokuto? I don’t want to leave Kenma alone if he wants - well.”

Shirabu wanted to reassure Akaashi that everything would be alright, but he wasn’t really close enough to the man to offer that type of consolation. Instead, he just nodded, feeling Ushiwaka’s fingers curl against his side.

“Thank you, Shirabu-san. Ushijima-san,” Akaashi said, giving a slight bow before turning and walking back towards the fountain.

“Their dynamics are interesting to watch,” said Ushiwaka.

It was an unexpected statement. Normally his lover didn’t focus too much on the interplay of other people, at least as far as Shirabu knew. Then again, he thought as he looked up at him, Ushiwaka was full of mysteries, depths hidden beneath a seemingly placid surface. He could spend forever plumbing those depths.

Wanted to spend forever.

“I love you,” Shirabu murmured, flushing at the surprise on Ushiwaka’s face as he glanced down. Surprise turned to warm smile and Shirabu found himself pulled in front of Ushiwaka, hand sliding around his stomach as they faced the track. Goshiki was laughing as he rammed into Bokuto’s car, ending up in the middle of a huge mass of other vehicles. Cheering he raised his arms in victory and looked over at them, eyes lighting up as he saw Shirabu.

The cars had stopped for the moment, people crawling out. Kuroo was on the periphery of the cluster so he got out first, grinning widely as he walked over to them while Bokuto and Goshiki hopped from car to car. 

“Kenma?” Kuroo asked, peering around behind them like his boyfriend might be hiding there.

“Back at the fountain with Akaashi,” Shirabu said, trying to keep the smile from his face. “I think they’re talking.

Studying him for a moment Kuroo said, “I see.”

The look on Kuroo’s face was more guarded than Shirabu was used to. It broke into a grin as Bokuto slapped him on the back, swinging an arm over his shoulder before grinning down at Shirabu. 

“Goshiki is awesome!” Bokuto said.

Shirabu laughed, looking over at the way Goshiki’s eyes were wide, cheeks red as he stood up straight as he tried to contain his reaction to the praise. Reaching over the fence Shirabu caught his hand. He laced their fingers together, pressing the hand with the cotton candy against the top of Ushiwaka’s hand on his stomach.

“Bo, why don’t we go try our luck at the basket toss? I saw a cat plush I bet Kenma would love.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea! Hey, do you think they might have something small enough for the - ah -”

Shirabu looked up and saw the guarded look on Kuroo’s face again. Bokuto just looked flummoxed, eager and anxious at the same time. 

“It was enjoyable running into all of you,” Ushiwaka said.

“Yeah! Have fun at the rest of the festival!” Bokuto said, slapping Goshiki on the back. “Better keep an eye out for this one, though, I might be tempted to steal him from you.”

The grin Shirabu gave him bared his teeth, and he said, “Sorry but we’re keeping him.”

“Shirabu-san,” Goshiki whispered, eyes wide and soft.

Kuroo laughed. “Just as well,” he said. “I’m pretty much addicted to Sarukui’s pastries.”

“They are pretty delicious,” Bokuto pondered. “Ah! Well! We’ll see you guys later!”

Waving, Shirabu watched as they walked toward the exit.

“Is Kenma-san going to be alright?” Goshiki asked, pressing closer to the railing. 

“Yes, I think so,” Shirabu answered. “What do you want to do next?”

“Whatever you want to do, Shirabu-san.” 

Sweet. Goshiki was so sweet. What Shirabu wanted to do was lean forward and press his lips against that beautiful smile, taste the blue cotton candy stuck to the corner of his mouth. Instead, he took his own hand back and tore off a bit of cotton candy, sliding it into his mouth and watching the way Goshiki’s eyes followed every single movement. Licking his fingers clean Shirabu said, “Well, the strength test is always a classic.”

“Yes! I could win a prize for you!”

Smirking, Shirabu said, “Do you think you could beat Ushiwaka? He’s pretty strong.”

Eyes widening Goshiki looked up at Ushiwaka. Shirabu craned his head around so that he could see Ushiwaka’s response, but his face was perfectly deadpan.

“I bet I can beat you!” Goshiki said, looking in actuality very unsure. 

Ushiwaka didn’t mention that, of course. Instead, he just inclined his head and said, “Good luck.”

He meant it, of course - that was the funny part, at least to Shirabu. Goshiki seemed to take the words at face value. Normally these little competitive shows were exasperating to him, but right now he just found the two of them adorable.

“Alright, well. Come out and join us.”

As Goshiki scampered off toward the exit Shirabu turned in Ushiwaka’s arms, looking up at him as he took another bite of pink cotton candy. “You’re not going to let him win or anything, are you?”

Ushiwaka’s brow furrowed. “Why would I do that?” he asked, dipping his head down and taking a bite of the blue. It left traces on his lip that Shirabu wanted to lick off. He wasn’t much into PDA though, especially with children around, so instead he just pulled the blue cotton candy down and took a bite from the same spot, licking his lips as Ushiwaka’s fingers pressed against his backbone.

“Hey, you’re eating up all my cotton candy,” Goshiki said, voice unusually soft. Shirabu smiled, watching as he tugged Ushiwaka’s hand down and took a bite from the same spot, cheeks flushed a pale pink.

“Do you mind sharing?” Shirabu asked, leaning his head against Ushiwaka’s chest.

Goshiki blinked slowly at him. “Not if there’s enough left over for me.”

“I do believe there is more than enough for all of us,” Ushiwaka murmured.

Smirking, Shirabu watched Goshiki’s face, drinking in every emotion that flashed through his eyes. “Depends on if I eat him all up first.”

Goshiki’s eyes went wide at that, and he looked down. Precious, so precious. It was worth the light pinch Ushiwaka gave him. 

“Shall we?” Shirabu said, wondering if he could find some more of that wine. It was awful, but he was suddenly in the mood to keep the languid feeling from the first glass as they wandered around the festival.

Ushiwaka held his hand as they walked toward the line for the strong man contest. A few other couples were in line, along with a group of teens that were out way too late. The tall gauge with flashing lights was familiar to Shirabu. About the only person he knew who had come close to beating Ushiwaka was Iwaizumi, but that was years ago. Shirabu didn’t even try anymore, concerned it might aggravate his wrist.

He let Goshiki and Ushiwaka get in line, stepping out long enough to buy another glass of wine from a food cart. It earned him a raised eyebrow from Ushiwaka when he stepped up to join them in line, but he just shrugged. He’d finish his cotton candy first. It wasn’t like he’d bought the wine for the taste.

“Who do you think is going to win, Shirabu-san?” Goshiki said, taking a bite of his cotton candy. 

“Ushiwaka,” Shirabu said, managing to keep a straight face as Goshiki stared at him with open-mouthed astonishment, showing off his blue tongue. He was tempted to suck that tongue into his own mouth, but he was an expert at delayed gratification. Besides, right now was about fun and getting to know each other. 

Pushing his more lewd thoughts to the background he clapped as Ushiwaka hit a high score on his turn. It was as Shirabu expected, though he wasn’t exactly ready for the large polar bear plushie Ushiwaka picked out for him. He curled an arm around it as Goshiki lifted the large mallet, bringing it crashing down for an impressive score as well. It wasn’t as good as Ushiwaka’s, of course.

“Aww, man!” Goshiki said.

Chuckling, Shirabu stepped close to Goshiki and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe next time?”

There was a flash of ruefulness in Goshiki’s eyes as he stared down at Shirabu, quickly replaced by joy. “You think I can?”

“I think,” Shirabu murmured, leaning into him, “that I like Goshiki as Goshiki. I don’t need you to be Ushiwaka. I’m greedy. I want you both.”

“Oh,” Goshiki said, eyes sparkling softly, hand reaching up to tentatively pat the back of Shirabu’s hand. “Good.”

Almost holding his breath Shirabu didn’t move his breath, ignoring the strange looks the teenagers were giving them. Children shouldn’t be out this late, and they didn’t matter. The only ones that mattered were the one in front of him slowly sliding his fingers between Shirabu’s, and the man holding Shirabu’s wine and cotton candy.

Oh, and the carney who coughed, waiting for Goshiki to choose his prize.

“Oh!” Goshiki said, turning and giving him a little apologetic bow. “Ah, the - oh - the blue snake?”

“Snake,” Shirabu said, blinking as it was shoved into his face. The thing had light blue fur - fur on a snake boggled his mind, but there it was - and a white underbelly, with two huge eyelashed green eyes and a tiny red tongue. 

“It’s cute, isn’t it Shirabu?” Goshiki said, looking from him to Ushiwaka.

“Cute,” said Shirabu, frowning down at the object now in his hand.

“It is not as cute as Kenjirou,” Ushiwaka said, “but as snakes go, I do think it is one of the cutest I have seen.”

Raising his eyebrow Shirabu looked back at Ushiwaka. 

It was altogether possible he was kidding.

It was altogether possible he was serious.

There was even a minute possibility that he was both.

Unable to tell at this moment, Shirabu just sighed and tucked the snake under his arm with the polar bear, glancing around for a game he’d want to play himself. “Aha,” he said. “Ring toss?”

“Ah! Sure!” said Goshiki.

Lips twitching, Shirabu took the cotton candy from Ushiwaka, finishing the last bite and throwing the paper cone away as they walked toward the ring toss. “Do you play this one often, Goshiki?” Shirabu asked.

“Sometimes.”

“I believe that the accuracy Shirabu has with tosses is almost unmatched,” Ushiwaka said, making Shirabu’s cheeks color even if he felt the praise was unwarranted. “Perhaps - ah. There was that Kageyama from Karasuno. He was rather skilled.”

“Ushiwaka!” Goshiki said, almost like he wanted to scold the older man.

Personally, Shirabu preferred it this way, though he suspected Ushiwaka might have had another name in mind, one that started with an O. The fact that the name he suspected had not been mentioned was a testament to the fact that his boyfriend did, in fact, have tact. 

They all decided to play this one, though Ushiwaka was polite enough to hold the stuffed animals as Shirabu paid for his rings. He could feel the heat of Ushiwaka’s gaze on him as he leaned over. It wasn’t unusual for a hand to find its way to his ass as he did this, though it never messed up his toss. Ushiwaka didn’t ever mean it to, either - at least he was pretty sure. Tendou had tried it once with the very clear intention of riling him up, but Semi had put an end to that very quickly.

Today, though, Ushiwaka’s hands were full, so he just watched.

What was truly new was the slight inhale from Goshiki. Feeling very pleased with himself Shirabu picked up the first ring, singling out the bottle he was aiming for and holding his breath as he flicked his wrist. The ring spun through the air, hooking on the top of the bottle but curling around and off, making him frown. The next toss landed without a hitch, though. The third missed the bottle he was aiming for, but hit another - not as many points as he would’ve wanted, but not bad. He managed to rack up enough points with the fourth and fifth toss that he had his pick of the medium plushies. Smiling, he picked out a green and yellow beetle, handing it to Goshiki.

“Beetle?” Goshiki said, staring down at it. “Why?”

“You figure it out,” Shirabu said, smirking. Truthfully there was no reason, but Goshiki didn’t need to know that. He turned to Ushiwaka and took the glass of wine from him, sipping and trying not to grimace at the sour taste.

“Oh! I know!” Goshiki yelled. “It’s because Shirabu-san is so hard on the outside and soft on the inside, right?”

It almost made Shirabu spit out his mouthful of wine. Turning around, he scrunched up his face. “If you ever want to know what my insides -” he started, shocked into silence by the sound of a loud laugh next to him.

Stunned, the looked up at Ushiwaka, dumbfounded by how his stoic boyfriend was guffawing with amusement.

Well, they had talked about Goshiki bringing something new to their relationship. This wasn’t expected, but new things rarely were, right? It was worth it. Even if he did want to roll his eyes and bristle at Goshiki’s statement, deny it in a way that proved its truth. Really, there was no denying it - something Goshiki seemed to know as he smiled in Shirabu’s direction.

Sighing, Shirabu just took another sip of wine and watched Goshiki toss.

He threw too hard. Overshot the good bottles and exclaiming loudly about it, though he managed to hook all his rings. He didn’t get quite as many points overall as Shirabu, but it was still enough to get a small stuffed animal - a little sheep this time, with pink wool.

“Is it alright if I keep this one?” he asked. “I mean, unless you want it, Ushiwaka-san.”

“It is fine,” Ushiwaka said. 

“He’s not a big stuffed animal fan. We will keep the snake as joint property,” Shirabu said.

“Oh! Ok, good.”

It was, possibly, rather adorable the way Goshiki snuggled the sheep, patting its nose with his hand as he set it beside the beetle.

Ushiwaka took his turn next, frowning in concentration as he attempted each toss. Unfortunately, his expertise on the court did not translate into accuracy when trying to throw tiny rings at bottlenecks, and he had to settle on one of the small consolation prizes.

“Better luck next time,” Shirabu said, finishing his wine and examining the potential prizes.

“Thank you,” Ushiwaka said. “Do you have a preference?”

“The LED flashlight keychain?”

Nodding, Ushiwaka conferred with the carney while Shirabu gathered up their things.

“You know what that means?” Goshiki asked, eyes shining.

“Hmm?”

“It means we’re tied! He won one game, and I won the other!”

Making a face, Shirabu said, “I won this one.”

“Well yes of course!” Goshiki said. “But I’m not competing against you.”

Clenching his jaw, Shirabu counted to ten in order to keep from letting loose on him. It wasn’t because Goshiki considered him an unworthy opponent. He was pretty sure of that, at least. It wasn’t that he didn’t put Shirabu in the same league as himself and Ushiwaka. That couldn’t be it. It wasn’t -

“How about the target range?” Shirabu asked, lips curling into a too-sweet smile.

“Ah, are you alright, Shirabu-san?”

“Fine, fine. I just figure it would be a good next step. In the competition, I mean.”

“What would be?” Ushiwaka said, handing the keychain to Shirabu.

“Target shooting.”

Ushiwaka gave him a long look, then tilted his head and looked at Goshiki. The younger man was bouncing on the soles of his feet, arms curled around his beetle and sheep. “Ah,” Ushiwaka said, “Alright.”

Goshiki looked around, wide-eyed, as they walked in search of the target shooting booth. Shirabu almost got distracted by some of the other rides on the way. There was a romantic looking tunnel that he almost wanted to try, except the seats only held two people. Laughing teenagers spun around in some teacup ride decorated with figures from the latest popular anime. He wondered if Goshiki was into anime.

Tendou would know. Tendou kept up with all the fandoms.

Finally, they found the target shooting booth. Ushiwaka took all the stuffed animals while Goshiki stepped up to go first. Stupid competition. Shirabu didn’t want the two of them to compete. He thought he’d made that clear - and really, he was just as much of a contender as either of them, if festival games were considered.

He’d won quite a few goldfish with his steady hand while younger. His mother had commented more than once that it was lucky the family had a pond in their backyard, and that it wasn’t stocked with expensive koi. Some of those goldfish were probably still alive today, nosing along the bottom of the pond and enjoying the random fish his mother tossed into the water.

If he was truthful, however, the only person Shirabu wanted Goshiki competing with was himself. He wanted to push the younger man to his limits, again and again, watching him grow and develop, pulling out hidden potential within the depths of his soul. He wanted so much, so much Goshiki.

Ushiwaka was looking at him with eyes that knew every quirk of his expression. He wondered if Ushiwaka knew he was wearing his collar under the shirt. He had to. Had never questioned it. Had planned this just because Shirabu had mentioned it, even though Ushiwaka hadn’t been fully sure he was on board with the idea. Now, it felt like things had changed. The strength of his boyfriend’s trust in him, love for him, hit him like a stack of bricks as he looked from him to Goshiki. 

The younger man had his rifle in hand, pursing his lips as he got ready for his shot. 

All of a sudden, Shirabu felt the desire that had been rumbling under the surface come roaring to the front. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was. Maybe the time, maybe the glasses of wine were finally hitting him. Maybe it was the way light illuminated the curve of Goshiki’s neck as he bent to aim the gun in his hand, or some combination of scents. It could’ve just been a sadistic desire to throw Goshiki off his game, make sure Ushiwaka won their little competition.

He wasn’t sure he cared.

Lips quirking, he moved closer to Goshiki. Dark eyes darted at him curiously before returning to the target.

“I want you on your knees in front of me.”

A pale finger jerked on the trigger and the shot went wide. Goshiki sucked in a breath and looked at him, eyes wide with surprise, cheeks flushing.

“I want you on your knees, and I want to make you take everything I want to give you. Pain, pleasure... maybe nothing at all. I want to take away your sight, your hearing, cut out everything until your whole world is whatever Ushiwaka and I want to give you. I want to play your body until you can’t take it, until you’re begging me, until you can’t find the words to tell me what you’re begging for. I want you.”

He could see Ushiwaka’s face behind Goshiki, gaze first questioning then disapproving then mildly amused. Goshiki still had two more shots to take, but Shirabu was fairly certain that was money wasted.

He didn’t care.

Goshiki’s lips were moving, nothing coming out but raspy breath. He blinked, moving closer to Shirabu, hands tightening around the stock and barrel of the gun. “Please,” he whimpered.

Smirking, Shirabu decided that their night at the festival was over.

He wanted to take his lovers home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW the Kenma situation is related to the kid BokuAkaKuroKen talk about in High Heels u.u i love this verse bunches, hope you are enjoying it too! I'm personally very fond of the Shirabu & Kenma friendship. It was something that came about organically; I didn't actually know how well they'd get along but it makes me very pleased.


	12. French Vanilla (E)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go, the moment you've all been waiting for.... hopefully :) well, at least one of the moments... hope you enjoy.

Licking his lips, Shirabu turned and looked hungrily at Goshiki as he came through the door after Ushiwaka. Finally, finally.

A large hand pressed against his chest stopped him from moving forward.

“You’ve been drinking,” Ushiwaka said.

Scowling, Shirabu said, “Only two glasses of wine - and you gave me the first one. Cheap wine, at that.”

“Still. You know the rules.”

“Rules?” Goshiki whined, looking more than ready for whatever Shirabu wanted to do to him.

Ushiwaka nodded. “No heavy scening with alcohol involved. No restraints, no painplay, nothing that might cause damage.”

“I wouldn’t damage him,” Shirabu muttered. 

“I know. Still, rules are rules - you’re the one that made them, after all.”

That was half-true. He knew Ushiwaka was right, though - even if he had rigged the game by buying Shirabu wine for dinner. He’d been wanting this for so long, but it would be better to take things slow right now, ease into things before jumping into the deep end. It made Shirabu smile as he processed the thought.

Ushiwaka was taking care of him. Taking care of them, even now. 

“Thank you, sir,” he whispered, feeling love blossom in his chest as he looked up into Ushiwaka’s eyes.

“So - so does that mean - are we not going to -”

Glancing over at Goshiki, Shirabu winked. “Eager?”

Goshiki licked his lips, then nodded. “Yes. I want you, sir.”

It shouldn’t have affected him that much, that open honesty, but it did. Goshiki was just too adorable this evening, so pure and sweet. Reaching out a hand Shirabu said, “Come here, then.”

He glanced up at Ushiwaka and smiled at the small nod his lover gave him as he tugged Goshiki into the bedroom and to the bed. 

“Kneel,” Shirabu said, crawling up and kneeling himself near the pillows. Ushiwaka watched as Goshiki moved, kneeling before Shirabu, hands squeezing his knees.

“We are going to use protection for whatever happens tonight,” Ushiwaka said, pulling a new box out of the bedside table. “We can continue to use condoms as long as you want, as well, but it’s important that we all share test results before we do anything that would exchange bodily fluids. Shirabu and I take tests every few months just to make sure, though we only have sex with each other. Our last results are a month old. If you want, we can go get tested again so you have something more recent.”

Goshiki’s eyes had been surprisingly focused throughout the whole speech. When Ushiwaka finished he nodded. “Yes sir!” he said. “I went in for tests last week.”

“Last week?” Shirabu asked, surprised.

Turning to him, Goshiki nodded. “Just in case.”

“Just in case.” Shirabu echoed, shock melting into desire as Goshiki looked at him steadily. Goshiki wanted this. Wanted him. Was mature enough to know how to act responsibly. It made him even more sexy in Shirabu’s eyes.

The box of condoms landed on the bed, followed by a bottle of lube. Goshiki’s eyes widened as he glanced over at them. It was the first time Shirabu had seen anything remotely resembling trepidation in his gaze, trepidation followed by determination.

“Hey,” Shirabu said, catching his hand as one strayed out towards the box. “Hey, shh, don’t focus on that. That’s just for later if we need them.”

“If?” Goshiki asked, all youth and vulnerability as he looked back at Shirabu. 

Shirabu gave him a soft smile. “Yes,” he murmured. “There’s so much I want to do with you, and I’ve waited so long. Can I take my time?”

Swallowing, Goshiki nodded, looking down when Shirabu turned his hand palm up. 

“Good,” Shirabu murmured, fingertips tracing from the center of Goshiki’s wrist down to his palm, circling there a few times before dragging down his fingers and back again. “I like your hands. Watch you mixing sometimes, did you know? The strength in these fingers, the length of them. Imagine what it would be like to feel them on me, touching me - maybe in me, if you’re lucky.”

Goosebumps rose on Goshiki’s arm as Shirabu traced up the soft skin. He continued on up over the soft cotton of Goshiki’s shirt, tugging the other closer by his collar and glancing over at Ushiwaka.

His lover had sat on the edge of the bed and was watching them intently, pants unbuttoned. Ushiwaka nodded slowly, tongue tasting his lips.

Even if things weren’t turning heavy, this was still Shirabu’s show tonight. At least for now.

Smiling Shirabu looked back at Goshiki, falling into the darkness of his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Please, Shirabu-san,” Goshiki whispered.

Leaning forward Shirabu pressed his lips against Goshiki’s, feeling their soft give. Goshiki gave a tiny sound and pushed closer, free hand reaching out to hold Shirabu’s waist. Another day, he would get in trouble for that, but right now Shirabu wanted nothing more than to sink into him, taste him, nibble on these lips, tease them open. 

Goshiki tasted sweet like cotton candy. His tongue was tentative as it slid over Shirabu’s own and Shirabu couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have it slide over other parts of his anatomy. He really wanted Goshiki on his knees - later, later.

Pulling back Shirabu smiled at him, licking his lips, breaking the string of saliva that connected them. The noise of disappointment Goshiki made was delightful. Shirabu wanted all of his sounds.

“You taste good, Goshiki,” Shirabu purred, sliding both hands up to undo the buttons of Goshiki’s shirt. “Can I taste more of you?”

Goshiki looked breathless as he nodded, glancing back when he noticed that Ushiwaka had moved behind him, helping Shirabu remove Goshiki’s shirt. “Oh, hello Ushiwaka-san,” he murmured.

Ushiwaka chuckled and leaned forward. “Do I get a kiss as well, Goshiki-san?”

“Yes,” Goshiki said, then bit his bottom lips. “Can you - can you two call me Tsutomu? Here, I mean, I mean unless you have something else you want to call me -”

“Tsutomu,” Ushiwaka murmured, large hand curling around the back of Goshiki’s head as he pulled him back, letting his breath ghost over Goshiki’s mouth for a moment while Goshiki relaxed in his hold. Then he was kissing. Claiming, tasting in a way that stoked the desire burning deep in Shirabu’s belly. Oh, they looked so good together - so different than they had the other night, though they’d looked good then too. This, though - here, there was no hesitation on Ushiwaka’s part, no teasing. 

Unable to help himself Shirabu leaned forward, licking over the pale skin stretched over Goshiki’s collarbone, hands sliding up the man’s well-muscled chest, thumb teasing at one of his nipples. Ushiwaka’s free hand slid forward and met his on Goshiki’s skin, sliding their fingers together as they both pulled sounds out of this delectable man.

“Do you know how much we want you, Tsutomu?” Shirabu whispered, kissing up his neck, teeth pulling at the lobe of his ear. “Did Waka tell you that we talked about taking you? Having you between us just like this? Do you know how precious you are, how delicious, how much we want to eat you all up?”

Goshiki moaned, body arching into Shirabu’s hands. His eyes were blown out when Ushiwaka pulled back, pools of darkness and beauty that Shirabu could get lost in. No words fell from his lips, just soft sounds and fast breaths. Oh, the way Goshiki gave himself over was one of the most beautiful things Shirabu had ever seen.

“You’re beautiful, Tsutomu,” Ushiwaka murmured, lifting a hand to gently brush silky black hair out of Goshiki’s face. 

“You - ah - both of you -”

“Want you,” Shirabu said. Love you, he thought but didn’t say - not yet, not yet. That would be too much too soon, even though he knew the edge of alcohol laying heavy over his body had nothing to do with the desire to say those words.

Ushiwaka squeezed Shirabu’s fingers, pulling his gaze away from Goshiki. It was easy for Shirabu to read his look though, a look that pulled him closer until they were sharing their own kiss, gentle and practiced and full of love. Amazing, Ushiwaka was amazing. Goshiki was amazing. How lucky he was to have both of them.

Goshiki’s fingers curled around Shirabu’s hip and he broke the kiss to smile down at him, reading wonder in his eyes. “Happy?” Shirabu asked.

“Yes.”

His eyes were shining, kiss-red lips curling into a smile. Cherish, Shirabu wanted to cherish him, so he leaned over and placed another kiss on his lips. “Can we lay you out? Take care of you, our dearest Tsutomu?”

“Yes,” Goshiki gasped, not fighting as Shirabu and Ushiwaka moved him, laying him in the middle of the bed. 

Shirabu curled up and leaned over him, brushing his hair back from Goshiki’s face and loving how Goshiki loosely wrapped an arm around his waist. 

“Will you take your shirt off too?” Goshiki asked, tugging at the fabric. “I want to see you, Kenjirou.”

The name still sounded fresh and new coming from Goshiki’s lips. It made Shirabu smile. “Let Ushiwaka finish undressing you first, alright?” he said, glancing back to see his lover doing just that. It was hard to tear his eyes away from the gaze of a fully naked Goshiki. He wanted to kiss all that pristine pale skin - wait, there were some scars. That just made him want to kiss even more, learn the story behind each and every one, know the outline of that faint birthmark he saw on Goshiki’s left hip. 

“I’m naked now,” Goshiki said.

Chuckling, Shirabu shifted and dropped his hands to the bottom of his sweater. Goshiki’s gaze followed him, tongue sliding out to lick those tasty lips as a sliver of skin was revealed. “Want?” Shirabu teased.

“Yes sir,” said Goshiki, glancing up and winking.

Shirabu couldn’t help but laugh, leaning back as he felt Ushiwaka’s hands slid up his back under his sweater. Pushing the fabric up he felt Ushiwaka’s hands slide around him, pulling the sweater off his arms and tossing it to the side. Those same hands pulled him back into Ushiwaka’s bare chest. “Ah, it seems like Ushiwaka beat me with the shirt.”

“Only because I was a bit less distracted,” Ushiwaka said, dropping his head down and kissing the nape of Shirabu’s neck where velvet ribbon covered his skin. “Also, I assumed that Tsutomu wouldn’t mind seeing my bare torso as well. Was I wrong?”

“No,” Goshiki said, eyes wide and shining as he looked up at them. “You look wonderful together.”

Shirabu felt wonderful. He pressed one hand against the skin of Goshiki’s chest and let his other fall loosely over one of Ushiwaka’s hands, sighing gently as Ushiwaka kissed down his shoulder, fingers gently tracing over his skin. Goshiki’s hand met his own, patting it softly. Smiling down at him, he looked to where Goshiki’s other hand was moving from his hip to tug at the waistband of his pants.

“Want something?” Shirabu teased, leaning forward to kiss Goshiki again. Goshiki smiled, hand boldly sliding over to unbutton Shirabu’s pants and tug the zipper down as they kissed. It was heady being between the two of them, Ushiwaka tugging the pants and boxers back down over his ass, Goshiki lifting the elastic away from his cock. He squirmed to help them get him naked, reveling in the taste of Goshiki and the feeling of three hands sliding over his skin. Suddenly he found himself sandwiched between them, laid out, Goshiki curling over on his side and tugging Ushiwaka closer to them. Delicious. The new position let Shirabu slide his hand down Goshiki’s back, grasping his ass, biting the younger man’s bottom lips as he ground their cocks together while Ushiwaka rutted against him. Letting his head fall back he breathed, gasping when Goshiki took the opportunity to kiss his neck.

“What do you want, my darling?” Ushiwaka asked. “What do you want?”

Shit.

He needed more self-control. It was too tempting to try and eat Goshiki up all at once.

Laughing softly Shirabu slid his hand up into Goshiki’s hair, pulling him back and smiling at the nip he received before the other man obeyed. 

“Greedy for me?” Shirabu asked. “For us?”

“Yes,” Goshiki whispered, moaning as Shirabu twisted his hips and pressed harder against him. 

“Tsutomu,” Shirabu said, tilting his head to the side as Ushiwaka started biting at his neck, hands sliding around to play with his nipples, “What do you want to do tonight? Do you want to decide, or do you want me to, do you want to take or do you want to let Ushiwaka and myself take you?”

“I - I want - so many things,” Goshiki admitted, biting his bottom lip.

He looked adorable, beautiful, and Shirabu wanted so badly to watch him come apart over and over again. “It’s ok, baby,” Shirabu murmured. “It won’t be the only time I ask you. There are so many answers, after all.”

“Promise?”

The vulnerability in those dark eyes just about broke Shirabu’s heart. He wondered for a moment what had happened to Goshiki in the past, how he could heal any scars left over, make sure Goshiki knew he was safe with them.

“We promise,” Ushiwaka whispered.

Shirabu nodded.

“Oh, ok,” Goshiki said, smiling softly as he looked down. “Well then, that thing you were talking about before, uh - not at the carnival because Ushiwaka-san already said no, but where you said you wanted to eat... me... up? Ah. And I, ah...”

Shirabu had to relax his fingers from where they’d curled tightly in Goshiki’s hair because of where his mind had gone when Goshiki had said he wanted to be eaten up. “And what, baby?” he murmured.

“Can I, um, watch the two of you, ah,”

“Together?” Ushiwaka supplied, arms sliding fully around Shirabu’s torso as Goshiki nodded.

“Hmm,” Shirabu said, leaning to the side and then looking over at Ushiwaka, reading the hunger in his boyfriend’s eyes. “I think both of those things could be accomplished tonight.”

“Yes,” Ushiwaka said. “Oh, yes.”

The words bled into another kiss, Ushiwaka manhandling him in the way that always made him breathless, wanting to lose himself in the mouth that plundered his own. He belonged to Ushiwaka heart and soul. Always would. No regrets. A little exhibitionist corner of his soul reveled in the idea of someone watching him be taken by his lover, especially when he planned to watch Ushiwaka thoroughly taking Goshiki as well - at some point.

Some point soon.

Smiling Ushiwaka pulled back, letting Shirabu turn and catch sight of Goshiki. “Oh, Tsutomu,” Shirabu murmured, reaching out and tracing a fingertip lightly up Goshiki’s erection. “You’re almost hard. And so responsive too.”

Goshiki’s hands were lightly curled in the sheets, chest rising and falling rapidly with as Shirabu continued to tease. The skin of his cock was soft and dry, almost velvety smooth. Shirabu wrapped his fingers around the heavy length and tugged at it. Goshiki was so responsive, little high-pitched sounds dropping from his mouth, muffled as Ushiwaka moved from behind Shirabu to kiss him again.

That was too bad.

Watching Goshiki and Ushiwaka made up for the quieted moans, however, and Shirabu slid down to give himself a better view. Was that what Ushiwaka looked like when they kissed? Did he look that debauched, that eager? He’d seen himself, of course - watched them in a mirror as they kissed, as they fucked, as Ushiwaka took him apart. Still, this gave him a level of remove that made the whole thing even more fascinating.

Sighing happily Shirabu slid his hands away from Goshiki’s cock and leaned over, chest brushing against the hardened length as he plucked a condom from the box. “I’m thinking,” Shirabu murmured, fingers tapping against Goshiki’s thigh as he sat up, “that I should probably wrap you up early before I get too tempted to taste you. Can’t wait to get those test results. Can’t wait to be able to actually swallow you down, know what your cum tastes like. Salty, bitter? Sweet?”

Goshiki’s hips were jerking, twisting, trying to get Shirabu’s fingers closer to his cock. It made him laugh, looking up at him. Ushiwaka had moved to kiss his neck and shoulders, leaving Goshiki free to watch. Shirabu laid the condom down on his stomach, other hand holding Goshiki’s hips down as Shirabu traced lightly over his skin, avoiding his cock right now. Oh, he couldn't wait to be able to tie Goshiki down and do this for hours. Wrap his cock up in ribbon, bring him to the edge again and again, learn every little way to make him beg and moan and lose all coherent thought. He wanted to know how Goshiki responded to nails digging into his hips, pinches on his nipples, bites - ah, but not yet, not yet.

Not tonight.

Alcohol did tend to aggravate his sadism, Shirabu knew.

Perhaps Ushiwaka was wise to limit him tonight.

Shirabu slid his hand from Goshiki’s skin to Ushiwaka’s hip, tracing down over the muscles of his ass. 

“Yes?” Ushiwaka asked, lifting his head up from the marks he was making on Goshiki’s shoulder.

“On your lap?”

Thinking a moment, Ushiwaka nodded, reaching over to grab the lube and a condom. He made a slight noise in the attempt and Shirabu gave Goshiki a sharp look. The younger man’s mouth was suspiciously close to Ushiwaka’s stomach.

“If you are hungry, little one,” Ushiwaka said as he looked down at Goshiki, “you should have said so earlier. For the moment, you’ll have to be content with what we give you. Is this acceptable?”

Goshiki pouted a moment, licking his lips. “Yes sir,” he said, lying back.

Brat.

Gloriously sexy, lovely, adorable brat.

Laughing softly, Shirabu picked up the condom and tore it open, holding Goshiki’s cock up and pinching the tip of the condom before carefully rolling it down. Little one. He liked that nickname, at least for Ushiwaka to call Goshiki. He was Ushiwaka’s baby, and Goshiki was his. Pet names and playful thoughts ran through his head as he leaned over and kissed his way up from Goshiki’s belly button, lightly sucking on a nipple before hovering and looking down into Goshiki’s eyes.

“Have I eaten you up enough, my Tsutomu?” he asked, watching the flash of disappointment in Goshiki’s dark eyes.

The younger man bit his bottom lip, hand sliding to curl around Shirabu’s hip. “Whatever you think is best, sir,” he murmured. It was obvious from the look in his eyes that Goshiki was hoping Shirabu wasn’t even close to done.

And he wasn’t, but he had other things in mind for the next few minutes.

“Hmm,” Shirabu said, kissing his nose impulsively. “I think I want you on your knees again, baby. At the foot of the bed, watching Ushiwaka and me together, keeping your hands clasped behind your back. Can you do that for me? Can you be patient? I will reward your patience, you know. If I feel like it.”

Those dark eyes had grown wide as saucers the more Shirabu talked. Swallowing, Goshiki nodded swiftly. “Yes, sir. I’ll make you proud, I swear it!”

Oh fuck, Shirabu wanted all of this man, wanted to be completely entangled with him. He was going to be so addictive. 

“Good,” Shirabu murmured, glancing up to where Ushiwaka was already sitting against the head of the bed. “Now.”

He sat back and gave Goshiki room to move, unable to take his eyes away from the younger man’s torso as he scrambled to get positioned as Shirabu had instructed.

“Like this, sir?” Goshiki asked.

“Yes,” Shirabu said, smiling at him. “Very good, Tsutomu. You’re so good for me.”

The way Goshiki blushed in response was delightful. For a moment Shirabu just looked at him, drinking in the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, the way his muscles were already trembling with anticipation. He was tempted to move over right now and lick the moisture away, suck on that skin, see if he could make Goshiki beg.

Not yet. Not yet.

Indulging himself a little bit he crawled closer to Goshiki, lifting himself up and curling fingers around the younger man’s chin. “Will you be alright if I’m over there with Ushiwaka, baby? You won’t be too lonely, will you, just watching us together? Know that no matter what we do we haven’t forgotten you. We want you here, with us, watching us, being cared for by us, alright? Our Tsutomu, our precious, precious Tsutomu...”

Goshiki’s face twisted up and for a moment Shirabu was worried he’d said the wrong thing, “Thank you,” Goshiki said, leaning his head forward, eyes squeezed shut. “Sorry, sorry -”

“Oh baby,” Shirabu said, pulling Goshiki to his chest and hugging him tight. “It’s ok, it’s ok. It’s alright to feel, you can let go. We’ve got you, ok? We’ve got you. We can stop now if you want, just cuddle, whatever you want -”

“No, no, it’s ok, I’m good sir -”

“Kenjirou,” Shirabu said, pulling back so he could look into Goshiki’s eyes. “It’s just Kenjirou right now, baby.”

“Kenjirou.”

The name did something to Shirabu. He’d fallen so hard for this man, this precious beautiful man in his arms. How right Ushiwaka had been. For a moment, staring into those dark eyes, Shirabu felt overwhelmingly thankful that he had such an incredible boyfriend, that the world had seen fit to grace him with this chance to have both of them in his life, and thankful to be surrounded by friends who wouldn’t judge him for being greedy enough to want both of them. It was too much to bear and so he kissed him.

At first, the only thing Goshiki could do was make a noise of surprise. Then he was kissing back, opening up, letting Shirabu lick into his mouth and taste that incredible sweet cleanness that was Goshiki alone. 

“So delicious,” Shirabu murmured, pulling back and resting his forehead against Goshiki’s. “Who knew that the best dessert you could serve me would be you yourself?”

“Kenjirou?” Goshiki squeaked, red as a strawberry.

Behind them Ushiwaka laughed, a low deep rumbly thing that always made Shirabu shiver with pleasure.

“Stay, baby,” Shirabu murmured, pressing a finger to Goshiki’s lips.

The younger man nodded. He was more relaxed than he had been a few moments before, happiness shining in his eyes. Goshiki was so volatile, all emotions now as he sat close to the edge of needing and wanting. 

Shirabu gave him a soft pat on the cheek then turned away and crawled towards his lover.

“How do you want me?” Shirabu asked.

Ushiwaka’s eyes, as they looked at him, were pure heat. “Ah, Shirabu, my Shirabu,” he whispered, “I want you every single way I can have you.”

The soft possessiveness in his voice was thrilling, though it also made Shirabu feel the tiniest bit uncertain. Did Ushiwaka feel left out? Had he paid too much attention to Goshiki? Was Ushiwaka doing this just for him, was he pushing him too hard, asking too much -

“Kenjirou,” Ushiwaka said, reaching out and taking Shirabu’s hand before pulling it to his chest. “Come here.”

His lover’s heartbeat was strong and secure, grounding Shirabu as he crawled into Ushiwaka’s lap, kneeling over his legs. 

“I love you,” Shirabu whispered, leaning his head against Ushiwaka’s shoulder, hands curling against his chest.

Ushiwaka nodded, nuzzling his neck. “And I love you as well,” he murmured. “And I want you, all of you, and I always will. But if he has you and you have him and I have both of you, then I still have all of you, correct? We will have each other. You are in no way diminished by the sharing, my love.”

It was good. It was what he needed. This was his show, he was calling all the shots here, but he felt suddenly naked in a way that had nothing to do with clothes - laid bare to both of them. This - allowing someone else to watch this, watch Ushiwaka touch him, open him up - he’d never done it before.

Never wanted to.

Now, though, he wanted Goshiki to know all of him.

Swallowing, he nodded.

A large hand slid up his back and cradled his head, urging him to look up into Ushiwaka’s eyes. 

“Better?” Ushiwaka asked.

“Yes,” said Shirabu, still overwhelmed with emotion. Overwhelmed was alright, though. 

When Ushiwaka pulled him in for a kiss it was like gravity. The room was silent apart from the wet sounds their mouths made as they moved together, that and the soft breath of Goshiki as he watched. Shirabu slid his arms around Ushiwaka’s neck, tasting him, mapping out his lips and teeth, the ridges at the front of his mouth, the softness beneath his tongue. It made him feel just as soft, melting as Ushiwaka smoothed his hands down his back and rubbed his ass, urging him to arch so that Goshiki would have a better view.

For a moment Shirabu felt weightless, like he was giving himself to both of them - giving Goshiki all of what he wanted, giving Ushiwaka everything he always had. He felt warm and light. When Ushiwaka moved a hand and came back to press wet fingers against his hole it made him feel almost giddy - lost in desire, and love, and fantasies turned reality. Somewhere in there Ushiwaka moved them so that Shirabu was leaning against his own arm, kissing Ushiwaka’s neck, panting as long thick fingers moved deeper and deeper inside him. It was something purely familiar, those fingers, the way his body relaxed almost without even thinking about it. One of the advantages of years of practice.

“Can you see this, Tsutomu?” Ushiwaka said, nuzzling Shirabu’s neck. “He’s so soft inside, little one. This man is the most precious, important thing in the world to me, do you understand?”

Those were not words Shirabu expected to hear while three fingers spread him open, rubbing at his prostate and making him need more, more, always more. It was unfair to be made to feel this much, honestly.

“Yes, Ushiwaka-san,” Goshiki said, and the tenderness in his voice made everything that much better and that much worse.

“Good.”

“You two,” Shirabu said, “are too much.” He leaned back into Ushiwaka’s hand, letting his head roll over his shoulder as he looked at Goshiki. “Too, too much.”

“Only the best for you, baby,” Ushiwaka said, a knowing smile on his lips as Shirabu frowned at him. 

For a moment the world narrowed to just the two of them, the heat between them, the lazy slide of their cocks as they rubbed together, and the wiggling fingers in Shirabu’s ass. Not long, though. A space of a breath and Shirabu’s frown turned into a smirk.

“I'm prepped enough,” Shirabu said, sliding out of Ushiwaka’s lap. The whole point had been to put on a sexy show for Goshiki, after all, not dissolve into a pile of intimate goo.

From the looks of it, the show had still been effective.

Licking his lips Shirabu dropped his shoulders, locking eyes with Goshiki as he slowly crawled towards the foot of the bed. “I think I got hungry again,” Shirabu said. “Can I devour you now, baby?”

Eyes going wide Goshiki nodded. Eager, always eager, like a puppy. If Shirabu had been into pet play he would've thought about getting him some ears and a tail. A collar seemed like a good idea though, collar and leash, something he could use to pull Goshiki right where he wanted him. Something heavier than his own collars, just for scenes. Leather, perhaps.

Smiling at the thought Shirabu dropped down and placed a kiss on Goshiki’s knee. He wondered if Ushiwaka was watching the way his ass swayed in the air. By the sound of the condom wrapper being torn into his boyfriend definitely had plans for his ass. Plans Shirabu agreed with wholeheartedly.

Shirabu trailed kisses up Goshiki’s muscular thigh, sucking at the tight skin. Someday he would have Goshiki splayed out beneath him, tied spread eagled, at his total disposal for hours. Now, though, Shirabu just explored. Goshiki whined and leaned back, belly pushing out a bit. Shirabu took advantage of this, sinking his teeth into the layer of soft flesh by his belly button. 

Now that got a reaction.

“Kenjirou,” Goshiki gasped, hips rocking just a bit. 

“Yes, baby?” Shirabu said, kissing up his chest, drinking in the way Goshiki's face was twisting up, lips parted with every quick breath.

“I want, I want...”

“You are so cruel, Shirabu,” Ushiwaka teased, moving between Shirabus legs, hands sliding over his ass. “Is he being cruel to you, Tsutomu?”

“Nghhh,” was the only noise Goshiki made in return. That might have been because Shirabu was biting down on one of those delicious nipples, tongue flicking over the tip that was caught between his teeth.

“Words, baby, use words,” Shirabu chided, blowing softly against the abused flesh. 

“Nghh... cock,” Goshiki gasped. “Please, Ken..”

“Cock? Oh, you mean this cock?” Asked Shirabu, sliding back down and nudging the condom-wrapped cock in front of him.

“Please. Can I - ah!”

Smiling, Shirabu unwrapped his lips from where he had sucked on the head. “Can you what?”

“Touch you. Please.”

“So polite. What do you think, Waka?”

“Soon.”

Soon.

Holding in his laughter Shirabu pressed his lips against the underside of Goshiki's cock with light teasing kisses. Every touch pulled new sounds from the younger man’s throat. Shirabu already loved his cock, long and slightly curved, thinner than Ushiwaka’s considerable girth but more than respectable. It was circumcised, with a mushroom head just ripe for sucking on. Later. For now, he just wanted to map it out and tease.

Ushiwaka took this time to lean over, kissing Shirabu’s lower back and reaching around to smooth a condom on his cock. On one level Shirabu hated condoms. Hated their taste, hated the texture, hated the slightly dulled sensation. But safety was more important than any of those dislikes, and he was more than willing to deal with the condom if it meant taking care of his baby.

His baby, who was whining now, sounds dripping from those beautiful lips as Shirabu nipped and sucked and licked. His hands had wandered from behind his back to rest on his thighs, but they weren't touching so Shirabu just moved to give the back of one hand a soft kiss.

“Ready?” Ushiwaka asked, raising up and rocking against Shirabu’s ass.

“Mmm, are you ready baby?”

“Ready for wha-fuck!”

Shirabu swallowed around the head of Goshiki’s cock, ruefully thinking for a moment that he might have overdone it a bit in an effort to blow his new lover’s mind. A slight slap on his ass indicated Ushiwaka thought as much as well, so Shirabu pulled back a bit, bobbing his head over the tip. His hair was full of Goshiki’s hands, grasping lightly, massaging his head but not pushing. The hands on his ass rubbed gently, one leaving as the other tugged at his cheek. That was all the warning he got, more of a warning than he needed, as the head of Ushiwaka’s cock started to press firmly against his hole.

For a moment, just a moment, it felt inevitable, something he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Ushiwaka’s hands curling around his hips, the inexorable weight as he pressed inside, Goshiki’s hands on his head, the cock slipping deeper and deeper into his mouth - it was all so debauched. In his head he knew he had total control over the situation - one move, one word and they would both change what they were doing. The false helplessness was something he savored. There was a moment when he almost wanted to push back and be dominant here, continue with his teasing. 

That wasn’t what this was about, though.

Warmth blossomed in his chest as he thought about these two men, the way that in some ways he’d been the bridge between them, the one who had brought them both together. As he sucked gently on Goshiki’s cock he thought of all the events of the past few days, pressing back as Ushiwaka bottomed out. Here, no one really had to be in control. Here, they could all give themselves over to each other, falling into an act that would be almost vanilla if not for the number of people involved.

Exotically vanilla.

French vanilla, maybe, though that thought almost made him chuckle.

Pulling back he suckled the head, tongue flicking against the slit through the condom as he glanced up at Goshiki’s eyes. Long fingers pushed the hair out of his face so he could see. Goshiki was beautiful. Eyes dark and full of wonder, hands so gentle as they cupped Shirabu’s face like he was something precious.

He was precious.

The most precious thing in the world - hands rubbing softly at his back reinforced that, reminded him that as well as he knew Ushiwaka he was still discovering the depths of the man’s love for him. Love that showed in his dedication and commitment, selflessness and drive - as well as in the way he tilted his hips to give Shirabu almost perfect pleasure each time his cock pushed inside.

It was slow, slow and sweet, sweet like the finest dessert. It was so much more than that for Shirabu. Smiling he sucked harder, letting himself take all of Goshiki in again, pressing against the hard length with his tongue. It was only a little difficult to deepthroat him. Worth the effort, worth the way it made his eyes water, the way he knew his throat would be sore later. The noises Goshiki was making were beautiful. It was amazing, to Shirabu, that he could make him feel this much. That they could, because each thrust of Ushiwaka’s pushed him further down, hands pulling him back, rhythm set by the cock pressing deep into his ass over and over again. One of Ushiwaka’s hands slid up his back and into his hair, tangling with the hands already there. Goshiki leaned forward and Shirabu pulled back a bit, groaning as he heard wet noises above him, Ushiwaka’s mouth muffling Goshiki’s moans that were quickly turning high-pitched and desperate. Suddenly his fingers were scrambling in Shirabu’s hair.

“Kenjirou - I’m - mmph!”

Ushiwaka’s hand had shot out of his hair, evidently forcing Goshiki back into the kiss. Shirabu redoubled his efforts, knowing exactly what Goshiki had been trying to tell him by the way his muscles trembled. Ushiwaka had stilled his thrusts, turning all of his attention to this man, this precious man they’d pulled into their relationship, murmuring nonsense against his lips as Shirabu sucked him over the edge.

The cry Goshiki let out when he came was breathtaking.

For an instant, just an instant, Shirabu fully hated the condom. He wanted to taste the release that pulsed so teasingly against the latex surface, swallow it down, drink everything his new lover gave him.

Later.

Later.

For now, he just pulled off, pushing himself up so he could see at least the aftermath of orgasm on Goshiki’s face.

“I’m sorry - so sorry,” Goshiki babbled. 

Frowning, Shirabu said, “Baby? What -”

Ushiwaka pulled out of him, giving Shirabu the freedom to gather Goshiki up in his arms, laying him down on the bed and pulling him close.

“Too quick - so sorry - I’ll do better I swear - please -”

“Tsutomu, Tsutomu, hey, hush, hush love,” Shirabu murmured, kissing his face, bothered by the tears he tasted, fighting the sudden confusion at how everything that had been so perfect had turned into this. “You were fine, you were wonderful, amazing baby.”

In response Goshiki just pressed his face against Shirabu’s chest, sobbing and holding him close. Feeling truly helpless now Shirabu looked back at Ushiwaka.

“It’s fine,” Ushiwaka said, rubbing his back. “Just emotions - they hit hard sometimes after a scene.”

“But we weren’t really -” 

It hadn’t been a real scene. It had been wonderful. He frowned, kissing the top of Goshiki’s head, whispering words of reassurance as best he could as Ushiwaka moved to settle in behind Goshiki, sandwiching him between them.

“You were so good, Tsutomu,” Shirabu whispered. “So perfect.”

“But I -”

“All we want is you, little one.”

“Yes,” echoed Shirabu. “You however you are. Our Tsutomu. No fear, no shame, no worries - we’ve got you.”

The words of protest stopped but the sobs continued, Goshiki’s body shaking between them as they held him. Sliding his hand into that slick black hair Shirabu kissed the top of his head. His baby. His Tsutomu. Their Tsutomu. Their lover.

“It’ll be fine,” Ushiwaka said, rubbing Shirabu’s shoulder. 

Shirabu looked up at him, saw a small smile cross his face.

“Ah, and now I have two men crying in my bed.”

“What?” Shirabu asked.

It was only when Ushiwaka’s finger brushed against his cheek that he realized there were tears there as well.

“Did I make Shirabu-san cry?” Goshiki asked, more worry in his voice as he looked up.

“Kenjirou,” Shirabu chided, brushing dark hair out of those beautiful eyes. “I’m fine.”

“It’s because he cares about you, little one.”

“Are you -”

“I just want you to be happy,” said Shirabu, feeling Ushiwaka kiss the top of his head as he looked down at Goshiki.

“But I am happy,” Goshiki said, eyes red-rimmed, nose looking suspiciously like it was running just a bit. “I am!”

Shirabu had to chuckle at that, dipping down to kiss the lips under that runny nose. “I’m glad,” he said. “I’m happy as well.”

“I am glad we are all in agreement on this,” said Ushiwaka, amusement in his voice as well. 

“I am,” said Goshiki. “I just - I didn’t mean to disappoint you. It all just felt so amazing.”

“But you didn’t disappoint us, baby,” Shirabu murmured.

“I came so fast, though -”

Ushiwaka laughed, gentle and warm. “You came after Kenjirou had teased you time and time again. Also, I’ve felt what that mouth can do to a man - I’m a bit proud of you for holding out as long as you did.”

“Thank you,” Shirabu said, feeling vaguely pleased. “You didn’t disappoint me at all. I wanted to blow your mind, after all. Hopefully, I accomplished that.”

“Yes,” Goshiki said, sighing. “Fuck, yes, wow.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, baby. You were wonderful.”

Goshiki’s eyes started tearing up again and Shirabu felt panic rise back up in his throat, even if Ushiwaka was patting his arm in reassurance.

The brilliant smile on Goshiki’s face was what calmed that panic, though - and then the panic was completely shoved out of the way by surprise as Goshiki shot up and kissed him hard, sloppy and eager, with laughter behind his lips. 

Laughing in return Shirabu returned the kiss, hugging him close. His heart was doing flipflops right now in his chest. Goshiki was a force of nature, brilliant, beautiful, wonderful, and sweet, so sweet, too sweet.

Being caught between him and Ushiwaka - fuck, it was going to be the death of him.

No, in reality, they gave him life.

Words hovered on his lips as Goshiki dropped his head back down, snuggling against his chest. Shirabu looked at Ushiwaka helplessly, melting even further at the warmth and understanding in his hazel eyes.

“I think,” said Ushiwaka, “that we should reposition ourselves and clean up in preparation for sleep.”

Shirabu nodded, kissing the top of Goshiki’s head.

“But - but you two - you didn’t -”

“Hush, baby,” Shirabu said. He looked over at Ushiwaka for confirmation before continuing, “We’re fine. Tonight was about you, after all.”

“Oh.”

Shirabu urged him up the bed while Ushiwaka went to grab a damp towel, coming back and gently pulling the condom off and wiping away all the residue of their activities. He did the same to Shirabu as well. There was a mild temptation in the caress, even more when Ushiwaka moved around, cleaning the crack of his ass and dipping inside. It wasn’t enough to truly distract Shirabu from kissing Goshiki and being kissed in return. Soon Ushiwaka was back in bed, behind Shirabu this time, muscular arm sliding over both of them to pull them close.

This was probably going to get too hot. Too sweaty, too sticky. Shirabu would probably want to wiggle away at some point, get some air, not feel constrained.

At the moment, however, it was perfect.

Sweet, and romantic, and perfect, and safe.

Fingers danced over skin, soft this time as kisses slowed and turned into nuzzles and whispered words. Shirabu yawned, wanting to laugh as the yawn passed from him to Goshiki to Ushiwaka. He was too relaxed, though. Too relaxed, too happy.

Smiling, he kissed Goshiki’s forehead and let himself drift to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope all of you lovely people had a great new year and wonderful holidays. I'm getting ready to go back to school, so this may slow down... but we'll see. Also, I've been able to meet some really awesome people lately through this story - new friends, people I can bounce ideas off of for this story and flail about STZ with! I'm looking forward to this near year with all of you. Please feel free to come say hi on tumblr! Blessings on all your endeavors in the new year!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always welcome :) 
> 
> Follow me (or come chat with me!) on tumblr at <http://kaiyouchan.tumblr.com>


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